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My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer last June...He's a "fighter." He's still here...And I am sure glad...He receives chemo treatments most weeks...We try to live a normal life as much as possible. I really don't know much about being a "caregiver." I just carry on and hope for the best. Thank goodness our son has been right by our side through all of it....He is a "life-saver."...Thanks for listening...Does anyone have any tips or advice for a "caregiver?" Thanks again....
I'm sorry your husband has cancer. I don't really have any advice for you though. Each of us is so different. I don't expect anything from my hubby, but then, I'm doing great and feel very healthy. For me just living my normal life, working, taking care of the horses, the dogs, and occasionally throwing a bone to the hubby ( *LOL ) has kept me sane.
I'm sorry your husband has cancer. I don't really have any advice for you though. Each of us is so different. I don't expect anything from my hubby, but then, I'm doing great and feel very healthy. For me just living my normal life, working, taking care of the horses, the dogs, and occasionally throwing a bone to the hubby ( *LOL ) has kept me sane.
Thanks for taking the time to write...I am glad you are doing so well. I guess it's really important to live a normal life as much as possible...Some people join support groups and cancer forums online....This is the first time I have ever done anything like this....I am usually in other sections of the forum writing about everyday things....Just carrying on as normal. I don't think that I am in denial....I just don't want to let the cancer rule every aspect of our lives.....Do you belong to any support groups? Thanks again for writing. Glad you are doing so well.
CArizona, it sounds like you're a pretty good caregiver! As a cancer survivor, I empathize with caregivers--it seems like the people with cancer get a lot of support, care and attention, while the caregivers do not. It must be draining after a while.
All I can suggest is be kind to yourself, and take care of yourself, for no other reason than---just for you! Also, the hospital might be able to suggest a social worker who has experience counseling caregivers. Or there might be a group, if you're interested in that.
I've done both (for cancer people) and I got something out of each. I have to say the group therapy thing is a little more difficult for me than the private therapy.
The only advice I have is to cherish the time you have and don't feel guilty when you need to do things to take care of YOU.
I have been a caregiver to my mother in law after stroke, my father with cancer, and my mother with stroke-she is now the one alive and the others have passed (all were/are in our house and we did have help with my mother in law and my mother but not my father) ....... each time it is so easy to loose yourself ... but you have been a year yourself and could probably give advice by now.....
Blessings to you. Cancer is tough. It must be especially hard with it being your husband and it sounds like you are making the most of it.
I have been a caregiver and I am now a cancer patient.
As having just gone through surgery a couple of months ago and getting ready to go through chemo, my moods have been up and down whereas I was more even tempered before I got cancer so my advice is whenever your hubby gets upset or has a pity party or wants to vent, allow him to do it. Allow him to express his feelings and understand it has nothing to do with you personally but it's something people have to go through. It shouldn't last for days or weeks but a day or two is fine, so I've been told and then go about living as normal a life as the 2 of you can.
Take care of yourself also. Don't let yourself get worn down.
If you have a cancer center near you (or ask at the hospital) they should have some booklets/brochures for you to look at that have all kinds of information.
Also I'll add, there will be times when your hubby doesn't feel like visitors. When I took care of my dad years ago, he loved visitors but he tired easily and couldn't handle them for long periods of time.
One more thing - let him be alone for about an hour or so with some relaxing music for him to think/meditate/pray each day. I did this for awhile when I was out of surgery and I do it a few times a week now. I feel it helps and if I'm having a crappy day, it helps considerably well.
Thanks to everyone....Really appreciate your support and "tips." I don't feel so alone anymore...Thanks again and wishing you and your families the best.
Give him love not pity. Do the things he has always dreamed of doing. Don't smother him. Be understanding. Tell him you love him. Cherish each day and live each day to the fullest because you don't know what tomorrow may bring. Take time for yourself - this is a must.
Thanks for taking the time to write...I am glad you are doing so well. I guess it's really important to live a normal life as much as possible...Some people join support groups and cancer forums online....This is the first time I have ever done anything like this....I am usually in other sections of the forum writing about everyday things....Just carrying on as normal. I don't think that I am in denial....I just don't want to let the cancer rule every aspect of our lives.....Do you belong to any support groups? Thanks again for writing. Glad you are doing so well.
You're welcome! I joined a support group online, but I didn't really relate to the group because I didn't/don't want my life to be all about cancer! I've enjoyed the forum here though, nice support and sharing of information.
You're welcome! I joined a support group online, but I didn't really relate to the group because I didn't/don't want my life to be all about cancer! I've enjoyed the forum here though, nice support and sharing of information.
Thanks for writing...I don't want my whole life to be about cancer either....This doesn't seem healthy...My husband and I enjoy being more well-rounded and carrying on as normal as much as possible....Some people have rushed up to my husband and hugged and hugged him and even cried .....as if he is destined to die tomorrow....Or other people avoid talking about his cancer.....or talk to me about it privately in a hush-hush tone of voice.....Guess everyone responds differently when they learn that someone has cancer. Have you run into this too? My husband has no problem discussing his cancer openly.
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