social cat is lonely but kitten didn't work out (kittens, eating, male)

[localinsight]

Hi there,
Currently I live with one cat. We moved from So. Cali 20 months ago where she was the happiest cat I have ever seen. The many homeless cats in my former apt. complex was excruciating - most had retained pure white coats - probably from inbreeding. They were gorgeous and people friendly, I lived next to a dumpster so I got to know many kittens. Fast as lightning, no one could touch them. Most kittens became ill, developed open sores, etc. They lived out of the dumpster in a lower area which flooded an for sure was polluted.
Feeling bad for them, I began to feed them but quickly realized what a mistake that was. I had a cat who liked to sit out occasionally (she was 16 years & ill but formerly spent much time outdoors. It was really a public health problem to feed these cats. So, I did trap a few and pawned them off on people... After I moved into another apt. I decided to try one more time to get one of these kittens a home. I put out some ham and got one w/my hands.
winding up, she became my cat because she was very ill, 1/2 blinded with an infected eye, and totally deaf. A beauty though - long white fur, one blue & one gold eye. No one wanted a disabled cat w/respiratory illness, so I had another...
She was very social. Visited other neighbors who left patio doors open, went in/out at will after she scratched a cat door in my screen, actually hung out with a group of homeless cats as their leader. She caught pigeons (deaf, some visual troubles, two bells on her collar) and they all joined in the feast. She got along well with my other kitty after the 17 year old died (the Queen). We took her friend and her kittens in when she was about 4 months. It was great. Even male neighbors loved her (she acted a bit like a dog; they called her a "G" = gangster, a compliment in that neighborhood).
We moved to MN in Feb 2006. Since I could only travel with one cat, I choose her since it was hard enough to find a home for a cat, let alone one with her disabilities and peculiar behaviors (she brought trash inside, brought in a pet mouse - a former pet which I put in a cage for entertainment cats & mouse very happy). I rented a basement apt. so I could let her in/out. Couldn't find separate entrances. S
With the weather - snow, rain - she became very lonely. My childhood cat never got over depression after I left for college so I was concerned enough to get a kitten. Unfortunately, this kitten was so mean to her, took all her places or lied ontop of her until she moved, bit her ankles during a jump, etc. The kitten would have worked out elsewise but she was strong willed and since my cat was never taught by an adult cat what to do with older kittens to train them, it didn't happen. The kitten dominated our lives my cat was unhappy and less friendly to me. She never hurt the kitten. As the kitten got older, the wrestling was more injurious. Two weeks after I brought the kitten to animal control (tried 5 months to find a home, I was sad) I read that this is normal behavior for some kittens and that the adult cats would keep them in line. Since mine only had me as her "model" she just never learned any of this. She doesn't have all her natural instincts - deaf, equilibrium off, and some other neuro. problems I can't define.
She is happier without the kitten although she did greet her, look for her, and kind of hesitantly bonded with her. She is also so lonely. She forgets to go outside after 2 weeks of rain & only eats and sleeps. I am looking to move to a warmer climate w/ less humidity in a year or so. I was wondering if getting an adult cat would be better for her. I will try to rent a place with a ground floor entrance so she feels safte going out. We lived in a mid-size city in CA but her world was the complex & people looked out for her as they knew she is deaf. She tries to visit neighbors here but people are not as friendly to animals.
Any thoughts on this? It is sad to see such a transformation from her "G" days - she was so happy, social, and independent.

Thanks to all who took time to read this post Long Story, but thinking ahead.

[maggiekate]

check with your local animal shelter, they get cats, who are older from people who need to enter a nursing home. These cats, are used to people, and indoor living. there are many older cats, who need a good home.

They also will let you bring the one you have for bonding etc. The first to do
is give them there own space apart. I thing an older cat would be best. I also think she needs to be an indoor cat, for safety. You also can but her toys to play with, and I wish you, a cat who will bond with her. Also check out the no kill shelters, who have cats. they do a great job of this. They get 2 cats who were bonded, and ones dies, and the other is missing the other.
also check out petsmarts adoptions.

[localinsight]

Thanks so much for your wonderful, concerned advice. I never thought of those poor animals whose owners have died

I don't know if I could get her to be an indoor cat, that and food are her remaining pleasures - and technically she is ferral (sp?). I have heard that they are different.

as far as toys, she plays with catnip mice sometimes but she gets bored and stops unless I play with her. She does, however, take some kind of toy, meow like she has caught prey, and put in my bed each night. Currently she is doing this with a Walmart toy. It hangs from her "walmart house" (made of plastic tubes and fabric). It has feathers velcroed to the end of the hanging part. When she bats at it enough, it comes loose. Other than this, she gets board or scared easily now.

She was attacked by a larger animal once and I thought she was going to die. Horrible experience. I would like to have her safe. She is such a pleasant - mannered roommate.

Appreciate your advice, great ideas.

[twins4lynn]

She is treating the toy as though it was real . And when she leaves the toy in your bed, she's leaving you a treat! She's come a long way from her ferel beginnings.

I would try to get her an older cat companion through a cat rescue group (which fosters cats in homes). That will give you a very good idea of the cats personality and how compatible it will be with your kitty.

[localinsight]

Dear Twins,

Great idea about the cat rescue groups. We had to leave our other cat with a woman who places cats in "foster care" when we left So. CA. I didn't know groups like this were around in other areas. I thought these wonderful people were anomalies. Imagine how much work that is, it takes all my energy just to calm a scared cat down.

I will look for one here in MN. Thanks