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Has there been any blood shed? If not, then I'd just give her some more time like Catman suggested. I feel your pain about this situation. I had a problem develop between 2 of my boys that got bloody and they had lived peacefully together for 2 yrs. before it started. It was such an awful, stressful time in the house. My vet offered 2 solutions. 1)Isolate the aggressor for 8 weeks and slowly re-introduce the cats. Me, being a big mush, couldn't bear to keep Gizmo locked in one room. 2)a form of replacement hormone therapy which is the way I went. It was time consuming, took several months, and cost less than $50. I did get some improvement but I still had to keep a squirt bottle near. Since these are all females I don't know if solution #2 is an option.
Maybe you need a nice big boy kitty to settle the girls down. You could maybe call the vet and see if there are any new things out there to do for this. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
No blood. They have not been close enough to draw blood. Tammy just goes bonkers when they come into the room....well, wait, that's not true lately. She just hides or jumps for higher ground. So, maybe she is settling in. I guess I have been spoiled by the serenity of being home where it has always been peaceful with the cats until now.
She may never feel completely comfortable with the other two cats. Maybe get some interactive toys and lure them into playing together. A feather wand is a great way to have them play with one another.
On the subject of time required, it took me two YEARS before I could get two different semi-feral neighborhood cats to allow me to touch them. Now they are rubbing against my legs every time I leave the house, unless they are across the street. I still can't pick them up, though. They have their limits.
Time probably is a big factor. Although, some cats, simply learn to co-exist with other household animals and that will be the max of their relationship. Others feel the need to cuddle and be along side every second of the day. Different strokes......As long as there is no "fighting" , you may have to resign yourself to the fact, you did your best.
I have a friend whose cats, he says, have never been in the same room at the same time. They basically ignore each other. Each wanting to be a loner.
We have two cats, a male now around 17 and a female 7. When we first brought the little one home, the old boy refused to have anything to do with her and we feared for her safety. We locked her in a separate room whenever he was in the house (they are in/out cats) and when he wasn't home, I picked her up, cuddled, let her roam, and played with her. After 3 months, he finally stopped hissing at the door of her room - we were just about to give her back to her kittymom family. We allowed them to be together only when we were home and he started to tolerate her a little more. After a full year, he still only tolerated her no matter how much her little kittiness tried to win him over. We introduced her to outside along with him and boundary trained her so she was able to hang outside in the yard for short periods alone. One day we were all outside together, with the big boy hanging out somewhere behind the garage and she was in her "kitty bush" - a meeting of 2 bushes that she could hide in and still see everything. A stray snuck up behind her and tried to go in her house. Little thing was so scared and screeched. Before we could react, the old tomcat came flying and got between the two cats. The little girl backed away leaving the old boy to defend her honor - and her homestead. THAT was the day we knew we could trust him alone with her and she was at least a year and half old - we had gotten her at 8 weeks. They have a big brother/little sister relationship - it's obvious when she is too playful with him as he swats her and she just falls down or runs behind the sofa. He still hisses at her when he doesn't like something she has done but the only time there's any jealousy issue is with regard to our bed. Both cats claim me and want to be on my half of the bed. Any other time, the tomcat owns my husband and she owns me.
So you're still in the early stages of acceptance - it is what it is and so long as there seems no issues of injury, let them work it out.
It has taken us a while to get to this point but Tammy is now in love....at least with me. Stella still chases her but Tammy and Annie get along well. Annie can climb and jump and Stella the Diva Cat can't.
Tammy now spends much of her day sleeping on the desktop where my computer is and where I spend a lot of my time. She will wake up periodically and demand tummy rubs. She runs all over the house and is very healthy.
So, we are all happy and I'm very thankful to all of you for helping me deal with the Tammy who was not in love a year ago.
Wow, that is GREAT Tammy has settled in! Cool of you to give an update, too. While I am at it... hats off to you for being patient and not giving up. I do have one complaint... I won't be able to get that song out of my mind now.
Why is it always songs you don't like that get stuck in your head? My worst one is "Copa Cabana".
Anyway, it's nice to hear about cats overcoming their problems.
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2)a form of replacement hormone therapy which is the way I went. It was time consuming, took several months, and cost less than $50. I did get some improvement but I still had to keep a squirt bottle near. Since these are all females I don't know if solution #2 is an option.
You could maybe call the vet and see if there are any new things out there to do for this. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
