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Pleroo, I don't know why you thought I was responding to you. You have certainly been very, very kind to me, as have most people on this thread.
The one person I am upset with knows very well that I am responding to him and he is having quite a bit of fun toying with me. And making sure to bless me and call me friend, to boot.
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
Pleroo, I don't know why you thought I was responding to you. You have certainly been very, very kind to me, as have most people on this thread.
The one person I am upset with knows very well that I am responding to him and he is having quite a bit of fun toying with me. And making sure to bless me and call me friend, to boot.
Thanks Hik.
I'm sure you and Brian will work this out in some way. From his other posts in this forum, I really have the sense that his heart is in the right place and that he will have the wisdom and humility to see that he can learn a great deal from you about how to truly support someone who has survived, and continues to, an unfathomably difficult and painful ordeal. (Sorry to talk about you like you're not in the room, Brian. )
Pleroo, I don't know why you thought I was responding to you. You have certainly been very, very kind to me, as have most people on this thread.
The one person I am upset with knows very well that I am responding to him and he is having quite a bit of fun toying with me. And making sure to bless me and call me friend, to boot.
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleroo
Thanks Hik.
I'm sure you and Brian will work this out in some way. From his other posts in this forum, I really have the sense that his heart is in the right place and that he will have the wisdom and humility to see that he can learn a great deal from you about how to truly support someone who has survived, and continues to, an unfathomably difficult and painful ordeal. (Sorry to talk about you like you're not in the room, Brian. )
I concur...Brian has been a forum friend for quite sometime now.
I guess you didn't bother to read the original post that Pleroo, me and others were referring to. My mother would be very hard pressed to come up with one other person that will make it to heaven, other than herself.
Once again, you are quite the passive-aggressive, aren't ya?
Perhaps your mother has "fundamentalitis?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by hiknapster
The one person I am upset with knows very well that I am responding to him and he is having quite a bit of fun toying with me. And making sure to bless me and call me friend, to boot.
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
Hi hiknapster,
I was honestly baffled that you called me "passive-aggressive." But I could be wrong, since I don't always notice my own defects! (It's a major problem I have, Lord knows..)
Well, I wanted to make sure we are talking about the same thing, so I went to check a reference on passive-aggressivity. Below are a few "signs" of "passive-aggressive behavior," I found (according to Wikipedia) :
Ambiguity or speaking cryptically: a means of creating a feeling of insecurity in others or of disguising one's own insecurities.
Chronically being late and forgetting things: another way to exert control or to punish.
Fear of competition
Fear of dependency
Fear of intimacy as a means to act out anger: The passive–aggressive often cannot trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone.
Making chaotic situations
Making excuses for non-performance in work teams
Obstructionism
Procrastination
Sulking
Victimization response: instead of recognizing one's own weaknesses, tendency to blame others for own failures.
Can you please tell me which of these criteria fit me, and why?
Pleroo, I don't know why you thought I was responding to you. You have certainly been very, very kind to me, as have most people on this thread.
The one person I am upset with knows very well that I am responding to him and he is having quite a bit of fun toying with me. And making sure to bless me and call me friend, to boot.
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
Yes, hiknapster..... the Lord gives discernment.
I believe with all my heart that those who have be abused, hurt deeply can discern the phony individual big times, more so then the norm. Like I know when someone hugs me just their touch I can discern whether they are sincere or not...... even when some speak about love you discern the falseness of it.... and can discern the passive aggressiveness of their words and behavior.....
Discernment, I believe is the blessing that God has turn the evil (abuse) around for the good of those who love Him.... a precious gift that comes to those who have been so abused and hurt.
Yes, God gives them a discernment to know the false prophets, which do come to us in sheep's clothing, you can sense the ravening wolf inside trying to deceive with their false love, denying the Christ with their flattering words.... amen !!
There is nothing wrong with your discernment it is a blessing from God to protect you, hang on to it !!!
I was honestly baffled that you called me "passive-aggressive." But I could be wrong, since I don't always notice my own defects! (It's a major problem I have, Lord knows..)
Brian,
I really don't know that worrying about a specific label is the way to achieve anything positive here.
I think it was apparent to everyone that the way in which you responded to Hik was upsetting to her. In essence, your response to her then was, "Well, you put your story out there, and I have the right to respond any way I want ... you can take it or leave it." Instead, knowing that your response was hurtful (although I believe it was unintentionally so), you could have simply apologized. From there, if you really want to help, you can either take the time to figure out what you said that triggered the hurt or flat out ask. At this point, the appearance you're giving is that you care much less about helping and much more about being right. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry for misjudging your motives, but I think you would want to know how it's coming across.
And hey, I get it, I think. You're passionate about the subject of love and how it can transform people and situations. I'm right there with you! But when, in our passion, we wade in to give our opinions about how love can conquer a situation that we have no first-hand experience or knowledge of, we can do more harm than good. I just don't believe that that is something a person like you would want.
Instead, in your passion, take this as an opportunity to learn from a person/people, who do have first-hand experience, how best to support someone in a situation like this. Learn what it was about your responses that were so offensive. Dont make assumptions and don't blame the person who was offended.
I may very well have overstepped my bounds here. I thought about saying this to you via DM because I don't want it to seem like I'm publically chastising you. But I'm still betting on my discernment that you are a person with good intent and I think people will soon see that to be the case. It's just that you've managed to carelessly rub up again some very painful scars. I hope and believe that making you aware of that, you have the humility and wisdom and heart to take a step back, take a breath, and reassess how you're approaching this.
Just listen and try to hear what Hik is saying ... not about YOU. (I know it's hard to ignore what feels like a personal attack, especially when other people jump on the bandwagon. But not very many people, especially when strong emotions are involved, know how to separate a problem in someone's words/actions from the person themselves, so try to keep that in mind). Try to see that it's really about the words you are saying and the negative impact they are having.
Trusting the love I see in you to turn this around.
I really don't know that worrying about a specific label is the way to achieve anything positive here.
I think it was apparent to everyone that the way in which you responded to Hik was upsetting to her. In essence, your response to her then was, "Well, you put your story out there, and I have the right to respond any way I want ... you can take it or leave it." Instead, knowing that your response was hurtful (although I believe it was unintentionally so), you could have simply apologized. From there, if you really want to help, you can either take the time to figure out what you said that triggered the hurt or flat out ask. At this point, the appearance you're giving is that you care much less about helping and much more about being right. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry for misjudging your motives, but I think you would want to know how it's coming across.
And hey, I get it, I think. You're passionate about the subject of love and how it can transform people and situations. I'm right there with you! But when, in our passion, we wade in to give our opinions about how love can conquer a situation that we have no first-hand experience or knowledge of, we can do more harm than good. I just don't believe that that is something a person like you would want.
Instead, in your passion, take this as an opportunity to learn from a person/people, who do have first-hand experience, how best to support someone in a situation like this. Learn what it was about your responses that were so offensive. Dont make assumptions and don't blame the person who was offended.
I may very well have overstepped my bounds here. I thought about saying this to you via DM because I don't want it to seem like I'm publically chastising you. But I'm still betting on my discernment that you are a person with good intent and I think people will soon see that to be the case. It's just that you've managed to carelessly rub up again some very painful scars. I hope and believe that making you aware of that, you have the humility and wisdom and heart to take a step back, take a breath, and reassess how you're approaching this.
Just listen and try to hear what Hik is saying ... not about YOU. (I know it's hard to ignore what feels like a personal attack, especially when other people jump on the bandwagon. But not very many people, especially when strong emotions are involved, know how to separate a problem in someone's words/actions from the person themselves, so try to keep that in mind). Try to see that it's really about the words you are saying and the negative impact they are having.
Trusting the love I see in you to turn this around.
Thanks for the feedback, Pleroo.
However, I think it'd be best for hiknapster to speak for herself.
Thanks for the feedback, Pleroo.
However, I think it'd be best for hiknapster to speak for herself.
Blessings,
brian
Brian . . . whatever you THINK you are doing . . it is not displaying nor promoting the love of God here. You are in fact displaying pride and self-righteous disregard and obliviousness to the damage you are inflicting on hiknapster in your zeal to do . . . whatever you think you are doing. Back off . . . seek the love within and get a grip on yourself.
Hey, all. Words will never be able to convey the sheer joy that your genuine love, care and validation has created in me. In so many ways I waited almost a half a century to come to these past few days. You have shown me a light that I didn't think existed.
I've had some personal and profession trials that have been going on, something I am very use to, but I had recently run out of options. Today, a miracle occurred. I am not sure if prayers and/or good karma from my new friends were part of this, but it seems that is right. What happened today came so far out of left field that I still can't believe it. It is a game changer.
But mostly, thank you all for telling me that I did the best that I can, continue to do so, and didn't deserve any of it. That's all we can hope for, isn't it?
I'm a firm believer in passing it on and am certain that these deeds will carry some sort of grace that passes all understanding.
Heidi
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