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There's a difference between having a large military presence and being economically overreliant on the military. Places like San Diego and Seattle have a huge military presence but they also attract a lot of people for other reasons. Military installations don't act as magnets that fuel population growth in the same way as most other economic anchors.
The funny thing is I didn't find the military presence in VB/Nfk to be overbearing. True, the economy is over reliant on the military, but it's a large enough city with enough going on that you hardly are aware of the military presence, I think I mentioned this before...
For example, in The Beach, I rarely interacted with people in the military, and rarely saw them unless I was in specific parts of town because they tend to cluster in select areas---->SE VB at Oceana and immediate peripheral hoods, but I also spent some considerable time in SE (Red Mill) and there wasn't a strong military presence at all...NW VB immediately surrounding Little Creek; I lived NW in the downtown area and there was only a sprinkling of military energy...and Nfk north of the Lafayette River which is the immediate surroundings of NAS Nfk...
Besides those clusters, there is a whole lot of city left. You'd see a sprinkling of presence at places that draw large crowds (the big malls, Harborfest, etc), but there wasn't an overwhelming presence. Way too much city left and way too many other things going on to occupy different lifestyles...
Compare this to another military reliant area I've lived, Fayetteville NC. Significantly smaller city, so you can't escape the military presence, unless you're "cross the river" in rural East Fayetteville or a handful of very small and confined pockets within the city (like around the hospital area). Its a small city with not a lot of activity, the military presence is suffocating, it intersects with every part of life there. And count me in to the group that isn't a fan of military culture, I despise its brashness and in your face nature, its conservativeness and "know it all"-ness, its "I'm better than you because I served your country" dick wagging...
Lot of people love it, and I've been friends with people who have a different appreciation for it. I'm accepting that some people value it differently. It ain't my thing though, and the contrasts in the spread of its culture and presence is certainly different in VB...