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Old 08-22-2014, 06:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by alakoala View Post
I am really curious if Americans( who were born here) ever really open their hearts to anyone and talk about their feelings.everything seems to always be fine or okay. Are there any moments that they talk about their fears, unhappiness, problems at all? Please respond and share the answers with me.
Yes, but only to close friends and family. There is no better way to scare off potential friends than to open up to them too early about your problems. Everyone has problems and the last thing most people want to hear about are the problems of someone they barely know. If you need someone to talk about your problems, find a shrink or a therapist.
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Old 08-22-2014, 07:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Mike 75 View Post
Yes, but only to close friends and family.
Agreed.
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Old 08-23-2014, 07:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike 75 View Post
Yes, but only to close friends and family. There is no better way to scare off potential friends than to open up to them too early about your problems. Everyone has problems and the last thing most people want to hear about are the problems of someone they barely know. If you need someone to talk about your problems, find a shrink or a therapist.
And good psychologists are probably very busy with people who do not have close friends or family around.i do not understand how people feel safe to talk about their problems with a psychologist. To me it is still a stranger.
Interesting...
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Old 08-23-2014, 07:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Lalalally View Post
Yes, I think when we are young/children we are more open to this sort of thing than when we are adults and have families, etc -- Life has a a habit of getting in our way unfortunately. But I think this is more a global cultural thing, and not just limited to Americans. Other than that, what you describe is typically limited to close friends and family only -- Not to everyone. (At least for me that's how it tends to play out). Can't speak for everyone though. *Disclaimer* unless of course it's that one in a million type person that happens to cross your path -- you know the kind of person you click with immediately and instantaneously. I'm 43 and can count on one hand the number of times this has happened to me in my entire lifetime . A rare occurrence for sure, but when it happens, it's almost always life altering and definitely special. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Hang in there -- it can only get better!
I understand that special connection we have with some people and of course it does not happen often. If it did,it would not be so special.
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Old 08-24-2014, 09:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alakoala View Post
I understand that special connection we have with some people and of course it does not happen often. If it did,it would not be so special.
I've never been to a shrink before, but I would imagine that for some people it's sometimes easier to open up to a stranger about family problems than people in your family. Sometimes, a person without any "skin" in the game can give you an honest opinion about the issues. If you have a dispute with your sister or brother, your parents are not exactly unbiased arbiters. Or, if you have marital problems, your husband's family might take his side, while your family would likely take your side... a psychologist doesn't have that worry.

Heck, look at the old movie/tv cliche about people opening up to their bartender - Isaac from The Love Boat, Moe from The Simpsons, Sam, Woody and Coach from Cheers, etc.
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Old 08-28-2014, 05:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NewJeffCT View Post
I've never been to a shrink before, but I would imagine that for some people it's sometimes easier to open up to a stranger about family problems than people in your family. Sometimes, a person without any "skin" in the game can give you an honest opinion about the issues. If you have a dispute with your sister or brother, your parents are not exactly unbiased arbiters. Or, if you have marital problems, your husband's family might take his side, while your family would likely take your side... a psychologist doesn't have that worry.

Heck, look at the old movie/tv cliche about people opening up to their bartender - Isaac from The Love Boat, Moe from The Simpsons, Sam, Woody and Coach from Cheers, etc.
You are right that it might be easier to open up to a total stranger. Plus psychologists are getting paid for listening to other people problems. Other people are sometimes too concerned about themselves to listen,to be empathetic and help others. Most people in this country are trying to impress others with bigger house, nicer car, smarter kids, better schools,the brand of the washing machine or new refrigerator. Everyone is tying to make money and has to have more then the neighbor. That is why it so difficult to make new friends...
Please people wake up!
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Old 08-29-2014, 06:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alakoala View Post
You are right that it might be easier to open up to a total stranger. Plus psychologists are getting paid for listening to other people problems. Other people are sometimes too concerned about themselves to listen,to be empathetic and help others. Most people in this country are trying to impress others with bigger house, nicer car, smarter kids, better schools,the brand of the washing machine or new refrigerator. Everyone is tying to make money and has to have more then the neighbor. That is why it so difficult to make new friends...
Please people wake up!
I don't agree with this. As has already been explained, people here are polite and don't overburden those they barely know with personal problems in their lives. It's just how it is here. It's not because we don't want to make friends, or we are too busy trying to make money to make friends. It takes time to become close friends with someone. Once you become good friends with someone THEN pour out all your troubles. I think you are over-analyzing this.
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Old 08-29-2014, 07:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by andthentherewere3 View Post
I don't agree with this. As has already been explained, people here are polite and don't overburden those they barely know with personal problems in their lives. It's just how it is here. It's not because we don't want to make friends, or we are too busy trying to make money to make friends. It takes time to become close friends with someone. Once you become good friends with someone THEN pour out all your troubles. I think you are over-analyzing this.
I was trying to fire up the discussion and to to get different points of view.
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