Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So who gets to decide the magic age when it's safe to play outside without mom and dad hovering? A 12 year old can be kidnapped just like a 10 year old can. Should we keep all children locked inside until age 18?
Or can we just let parents be parents and decide what THEY feel their children are capable of?
I'm not trying to debate who gets to decide what age. What I am doing, however is giving my opinion on this matter. That is, I would not let my children run about "anywhere" at the ages of six and ten years. Under no circumstances.
I raised by kids in NYC and the latch key law was 14. That means I could not leave them unattended even at home at that age. If I did, and someone found out, or something happened to them I'd be in a heap of trouble with CPS.
Why would anyone want to bring attention to CPS with their children anyway? This couple should know the Maryland laws. If it is not allowed, then they must follow the law.
Sounds like your experience being raised in the inner city has molded your thought process to agree with a more helicopter parenting style/authority needs to control parenting that was once considered just part of "growing up as a kid" for many. Remember many other kids, including myself, grew up in suburbia with very low crime and see things differently.
I raised my children like my parents raised me. This is not unheard of.
If you're kids are truly independent, self-sustaining, don't call on mom and/or dad for every little decision/thing in life yet you used a more "helicopter" approach to your parenting, I think you're fortunate your kids came out ok. Many kids that grow up with parents hovering all over them, not letting kids grow/learn/and fail more on their own often turn into something less ideal....."dependent/I can't think on my own/make a decision on my own type "adults" because they were never taught to do these basics growing up.
No child (no matter how old they get) will ever stop needing or wanting advice from their parents. Now if you're not available to give it or prefer not to that's one thing. You don't stop being a parent when they become grown if they need you. Is that what you would do?
If my daughter called me for advice about anything, I'd give it. Sometimes I give it, even if she doesn't want it. Whatever she does, is still up to her. Who stops being a parent because their kids grew up?
Reading some of these comments makes me laugh. I was 9 when I got my first key to the house. I was 4 or 5 when I was outside playing by myself. I was 10 when my friends and I went fishing by the lake without life jackets. I was 13 when I took the train into DT Stockholm by my self.
It wasn't just me. ALL the kids back then did this. I am born 1976 so I grew up in the 80's and 90's. Our parents told us about "fula gubbar" ( pedophiles). Watch out for those.
But I get it. I live in Chicago now. I have an 8 , almost 9, year old son and I won't let him go outside alone in the city either.
I'm not trying to debate who gets to decide what age. What I am doing, however is giving my opinion on this matter. That is, I would not let my children run about "anywhere" at the ages of six and ten years. Under no circumstances.
I raised by kids in NYC and the latch key law was 14. That means I could not leave them unattended even at home at that age. If I did, and someone found out, or something happened to them I'd be in a heap of trouble with CPS.
Why would anyone want to bring attention to CPS with their children anyway? This couple should know the Maryland laws. If it is not allowed, then they must follow the law.
The legal age to leave a child unattended in Maryland is 8. The oldest child was 10. The 6 year old was WITH the 10 year old, therefore NOT left unattended. This couple broke no laws.
What happened was some nosey busybody saw these two children outside alone and decided to call the police, not because the children were in any danger, not because they appeared to be neglected or abused, but for the parents having the audacity to raise their children in a way someone else does not approve of.
As a parent, the only thing that concerns me about this story is some stranger's outrage about my parenting choices is enough for my child to be taken away.
No child (no matter how old they get) will ever stop needing or wanting advice from their parents. Now if you're not available to give it or prefer not to that's one thing. You don't stop being a parent when they become grown if they need you. Is that what you would do?
If my daughter called me for advice about anything, I'd give it. Sometimes I give it, even if she doesn't want it. Whatever she does, is still up to her. Who stops being a parent because their kids grew up?
I suppose it depends on the kid(s) and parent(s). Some parents frankly aren't the greatest role models/can't offer sound advice to kids. Some kids know this, some don't. I'm not saying this applies to you in any way but I'm sure you've met a few parents who in your view shouldn't be dispensing advice to kids on topics like financial matters where the parent can't manage their own finances, their own emotional health where the kid might get a warped view of reality, etc.
As for an adult daughter/son asking for advice on something, that's great, once in a while perhaps, especially when a good parent can give advice based on experience but I think there's a fine line where that can get unhealthy. I think when one's kid gets married/has their own family, I think it's high time they make their own decisions and seek advice on their own/with their spouse before asking me. Perhaps I can offer better advice, perhaps I can't....I don't think that's the issue. The bigger issue I think is a parent has to know when to step aside and realize many kids get married, start a family, and that should be their main point of contact. They have a new life and that's their core family and they should make their own decisions/work on their own problems together on what works best for them.
On another real life example, we have friends who are parents and the son, in his 20's, constantly seeks advice on dating from his mom, should he break up with a girl or not, etc. Seems most times we are out with them mom steps aside with the phone to play "who should my son date, break up with, how to do it, etc." I'm sorry but this is way to much in my book/just plain odd and a case of helicopter parenting gone bad that creeps into adulthood. At that age, I think it's more normal for a young adult in their 20's to seek advice at most from their friends/peers and better yet, make their own decisions they feel is right without consulting with mommy or daddy. Gettin' a little late in the game/creepy in my book for such a thing to go on. That's the kind of person in their 20's that will be more likely to call their parents in their 40's when they have a small argument with their spouse and ask them what to do. I feel bad for his future spouse. Battle of the helicopter parents while they operate their kids with strings like a puppet! Funny in one way but really sad on the other.
While I don't like thinking about a 6 year old walking around alone I don't think I'd be calling the cops unless that 6 year old was doing something they shouldn't be doing. First, it's not my place to "protect" each child I see by imposing my personal ideas on them and their parents. Second, the police are reserved for emergencies and dangerous situations. Walking around isn't dangerous unless they are on the freeway or a busy street or construction site or whatever. Finally, raising kids really is the ultimate in "a private affair" and I don't approve of busybodies. No problems? Then not my business.
No child (no matter how old they get) will ever stop needing or wanting advice from their parents. Now if you're not available to give it or prefer not to that's one thing. You don't stop being a parent when they become grown if they need you. Is that what you would do?
If my daughter called me for advice about anything, I'd give it. Sometimes I give it, even if she doesn't want it. Whatever she does, is still up to her. Who stops being a parent because their kids grew up?
Certainly not overly protective, helicopter parents. I have five adult children. If they ask me for advice I give it. If they don't I keep my mouth shut. As far as I'm concerned to do otherwise would be intrusive and interfering unless it's a matter of safety or security. Four of the five are married with children of their own and all have their own lives. I'm often asked "who, what, where, when, how" questions about their growing up years or my life BC (before children) and very often for recipes. My wife, who is not their mother, is a retired midwife so the girls and daughters-in-law often have questions for her. I consider that parenting as well.
You want to "slap these people?" Control yourself and stop acting like a henpecked husband.
Not that this hasn't been discussed ad nauseum on other threads, but the only crime here is that parents have to explain to busybodies (ie., people like you) how they choose to raise their kids.
Instead, get indignant that the kids had a curfew that they missed only because they were snatched by police and spent 3 hours sitting in a cruiser, then were handed over to the child welfare arm of the gub-ment where they spent another 6 hours.
Biddie-bats and milquetoasts...where would we all be without them?
This. I'd like to smack the idiot that called the police. People should HELP each other. If the dude was all that concerned about the kids, then ask them if they know where they are going, and offer to walk them home (he could have done that anyway - just walk behind them to make sure they got home safely). But NOOOOO...people want to call the friggin' police to report something, ANYthing, rather than try and help out.
It's not trolling to point out facts you don't like. The law is dumb and likely unconstitutional. It will also impact black mothers at a disproportionate rate.
This. If OP does not want comments, then I recommend OP should open a blog and disable the comments. Because this is a forum and discussion is everywhere.
What does Free Range have to do with chickens?! "Free Range Parenting" has happened all the time. It isn't new. Kids had frequently been unsupervised and there was always danger (not just in "recent times" or "modern times" ) and that children are more likely to be attacked at church or school or even a school teacher or some other "surprising" place instead of just wandering on their own.
"Stranger abductions make up the smallest percentage of children reported missing every year. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children believes that stranger abductions are decreasing overall and projects that there will be approximately 100 of these kind of cases by the end of this year."
"An estimated 58,200 children were abducted by a nonfam-
ily perpetrator in the study year, including an estimated
115 victims of stereotypical kidnappings (table 1)."
"When the categories get conflated, the statistics can become confusing. Take the number 800,000: It's true that 797,500 people under 18 were reported missing in a one-year period, according to a 2002 study. But of those cases, 203,900 were family abductions, 58,200 were nonfamily abductions, and only 115 were "stereotypical kidnappings," defined in one study as "a nonfamily abduction perpetrated by a slight acquaintance or stranger in which a child is detained overnight, transported at least 50 miles, held for ransom or abducted with the intent to keep the child permanently, or killed.""
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Funny in one way but really sad on the other.
I See Nothing Wrong With Commenting?
