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I see a lot of adult children living with their parents here in Fla. Sadly most in my community, they are not there to help the parents. They are troubled people age range late 30s into their 50s, that can't fend for themselves. The park has had to send letters to the parents, because of behavior problems with the children. I live in a 55and over .mobile home park. I didn't know until moving here, that some adult children. continually depend on aging parents.
Personally I think you become an adult, you leave the nest. I also think these parents had had their fill of this son. I imagine there is more to this story than we know about. ,I agree he should go on his own, but I'm concerned he went back to the home. That is after the Judge ruling. In this day and age, How do we know he won't snap and hurt his parents. Desperate people can do sick things. 30 year old male. I don't know but I'd hate to hear tragedy is the outcome here. Today I heard him say on programs, there is complete silence in that house. That doesn't sound good at all. I'd be very nervous stay there.
He should be placed with a Social Worker, that can place him I, some kind of housing. That and some sort of mental eval done on him.
His parents just had enough, and figure by 30 theyhave done their duty. They want him to grow up and look for work. I really dont blame them.. Unless of course he is mentally incapable, then they should seek help for that.
There are some well off people who just buy the kid a house and dump him or her in it. They wash their hands of it, and hire an attorney or professional guardian to oversee things. There's some good parenting. These guardians don't even check on the "kids" or their property.
These adult children who cannot support themselves for whatever reason should not be living alone but in group situations where someone can guide them or at least have a buddy to live with, because they don't do well on their own.
These adult children who cannot support themselves for whatever reason should not be living alone but in group situations where someone can guide them or at least have a buddy to live with, because they don't do well on their own.
**p.s. Holy geez. Sorry for the book. I guess this is a subject I'm passionate about. **
This ^ is ideal, although if these people are already in their 30s, 40s and 50s you're talking parents in their 50s (at least), 60s, 70s or even older. When these people grew up, their parents, born in the 60s, 50s, 40s, etc. would have had NO clue what to do with a child who seemed "different" but obviously had no intellectual delay or anything. There just WERE no resources, generally. So now as adults, they're not "in place" to be on a waiting list for a group situation. It's easier for kids today with issues than for this older group. We position our kids to be ready for such a situation or for whatever they'll need; we're proactive about it because we're aware.
I was in school in the 70s and 80s and nobody caught my issues no matter how drastic things got, because I was "bright enough" to pass school so I could "learn to get along, or deal with the consequences."
People see kids today with resources for working with/learning with autism, social anxiety, learning disabilities such as dyslexia or discalcula, etc. Again...that's today.
But for people who are in their 30s and older now, not only did this group not grow up with that sort of "find out what's wrong, don't just punish" mindset, but the parents of older people grew up when you just didn't "tell other people your problems."
The net result: people in their 30s or older today probably didn't get help when they were younger. NOW as adults, they have to look into being assessed, which costs money, unlike with minors today, who can be assessed through school.
If they're functional at all, and I guarantee a lot of these people are on the internet all the time, they need to seek a diagnosis or some sort of help in order to be guided to that group home. Those 60, 70, etc.-something parents have probably had it by now, are exhausted, don't want to rock the boat anymore and they're not going to do it. We need to give parents of these age groups a bit of a break on this score, IMO. You need toh have either grown up this way, or have an adult child now for whom you could never get help, to really get how this "could happen". It's not always about the parents not having been proactive. It's much more complicated than that.
This dude is functional enough to locate resources. He's functional enough to look into how to deal with his own ish. Is that unfair? Yes and no. We all have to deal with ish, usually many types of ish. Everyone has some challenge or other. Life can be brutal. But this guy does have resources, there IS awareness now. And he is intelligent, and he can extrapolate (he took certain rules in lawbooks, for example, and related them and slightly changed them for his own situation). He CAN call a doctor and say, "Something is wrong. I know it is, because nobody else is like me. I see other people with jobs. They seem to understand eachother...I never 'get' anybody else. I feel helpless. Can you help me?"
Just go on Wrong Planet and places like that and your (not the person I'm quoting, the general "you") eyes will be opened to just how much autistic people ARE aware of themselves, and their place in the world, and how to locate resources. This guy is on the internet all the time. I guarantee you he's heard of such places.
There are some well off people who just buy the kid a house and dump him or her in it. They wash their hands of it, and hire an attorney or professional guardian to oversee things. There's some good parenting. These guardians don't even check on the "kids" or their property.
These adult children who cannot support themselves for whatever reason should not be living alone but in group situations where someone can guide them or at least have a buddy to live with, because they don't do well on their own.
I agree with you. Maybe that's what's going on with the man. He isn't capable of being out on his own.
Back when I was dating in my late 20s and early 30s, about 1 in 3 men that I met still lived at home with mom & dad.
I've also known a lot of people who couch surfed and stayed with various friends over the years. They could never deal with paying rent to live somewhere. It just felt unfair to them for whatever reason. I never liked paying rent either but it was the price to pay for my independence. It's not terrible to live in an apartment complex.
Yes, most of them were. I just didn't like dealing with their parents, like when I called them on the phone or met them at their house. It felt weird, as an adult, to deal with a guy's parents like I did back in high school. I felt very uncomfortable about it.
I see a lot of adult children living with their parents here in Fla. Sadly most in my community, they are not there to help the parents. They are troubled people age range late 30s into their 50s, that can't fend for themselves. The park has had to send letters to the parents, because of behavior problems with the children. I live in a 55and over .mobile home park. I didn't know until moving here, that some adult children. continually depend on aging parents.
Personally I think you become an adult, you leave the nest. I also think these parents had had their fill of this son. I imagine there is more to this story than we know about. ,I agree he should go on his own, but I'm concerned he went back to the home. That is after the Judge ruling. In this day and age, How do we know he won't snap and hurt his parents. Desperate people can do sick things. 30 year old male. I don't know but I'd hate to hear tragedy is the outcome here. Today I heard him say on programs, there is complete silence in that house. That doesn't sound good at all. I'd be very nervous stay there.
He should be placed with a Social Worker, that can place him I, some kind of housing. That and some sort of mental eval done on him.
His parents just had enough, and figure by 30 theyhave done their duty. They want him to grow up and look for work. I really dont blame them.. Unless of course he is mentally incapable, then they should seek help for that.
This is the aftermath of boomers destroying our economy. Millennials are the lost generation because their parents, the boomer gen exploited and reap the benefits and crashed the economy and left the children with negative economic prospects. Jobs used to go to college grads today are going to immigrants that aren't citizens, outsourcing jobs overseas and where ever it was cheap. These decisions never happened when the boomers were young adults. They had unions, pensions, civil rights movements. Today, unions are dying and corps are winning against workers, pensions is like a lottery only if you are lucky to get, and civil rights movement are just pesky protests and nobody seemed to care.
There's very little change a young adult without relevant skills today can find a good living wage and make it themselves without their parents helping out. That's the price boomers have to pay for destroying the economy, now they have to dole some of that money out to their kids. If I was a millennial and I know my parents are hoarding money and kicking you out, I'd fight hard to get that money.
This is the aftermath of boomers destroying our economy. Millennials are the lost generation because their parents, the boomer gen exploited and reap the benefits and crashed the economy and left the children with negative economic prospects. Jobs used to go to college grads today are going to immigrants that aren't citizens, outsourcing jobs overseas and where ever it was cheap. These decisions never happened when the boomers were young adults. They had unions, pensions, civil rights movements. Today, unions are dying and corps are winning against workers, pensions is like a lottery only if you are lucky to get, and civil rights movement are just pesky protests and nobody seemed to care.
There's very little change a young adult without relevant skills today can find a good living wage and make it themselves without their parents helping out. That's the price boomers have to pay for destroying the economy, now they have to dole some of that money out to their kids. If I was a millennial and I know my parents are hoarding money and kicking you out, I'd fight hard to get that money.
lol oh sweet lord.
Ok, I'll bite. exactly what "benefits" did we "exploit"? what we went to work everyday? yeah, I guess that is hard for some generations (including this young man) to understand.
Next exactly what control does the "boomer" have over companies cutting pensions. what are you saying boomers wanted that to happened? talk about a dumb idea finding a friend. Many boomers did not and do not have 401K's and IRA's because we foolishly believed that our pensions were golden. many now are existing manly on ss because the rug has been pulled out from underneath them.
Lastly, my mom was a civil rights attorney. spent a large portion of her adult life helping minorities in knoxille tenns. get the right to vote and you have the nerve to blame them because your generation is too lazy to even go out a vote (yeah, what group consistently goes to the polls). If nobody seems to care, exactly who's fault is that because boomers went to war because they care.
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