What I don't miss about Plano (Richardson, Highland Park: schools, living, dangerous)

[Double-G]

Originally Posted by nonexpat

Double-G I will ignore your remarks that I'm crazy and address one of your other points. You say that my objection to overindulgence of children is based on being "jealous". Do you know what my financial circumstances are? We could well afford to buy such cars for our children and do many other stupid things, but we won't.

Instead you will posture publicly about such things. Fair enough.

Just because you can afford to give something to your child, doesn't make it a good idea. We want our children to know the value of hard work and to appreciate what they have. Furthermore, we know plenty of people in Plano who went bankrupt, lost their houses, etc. all while driving BMW's, Mercedes, etc. Many of those cars in that lot are bought on credit or loans just to keep up with the Joneses. These are the attitudes I deplore.

I agree with your sentiment but it's all about personal choice isn't it?

My parents chose not to give me a car and to make me work for the piece of junk I finally saved up for. Other kids got given nice cars.

What impact did this have on our lives?

[nonexpat]

Originally Posted by Double-G

Instead you will posture publicly about such things. Fair enough.

I agree with your sentiment but it's all about personal choice isn't it?

My parents chose not to give me a car and to make me work for the piece of junk I finally saved up for. Other kids got given nice cars.

What impact did this have on our lives?

I certainly won't say that only Plano suffers from this mentality, but the fact that this is personal choice isn't relevant at all. Of course, it's personal choice. The fact that so many people who can't afford these trappings and go into credit card debt because they are so desperate and insecure definitely affects my life and the lives of my children. The fact that they personally choose to think that material goods are how they should be judged and that material goods are that important affects the whole vibe of a place.

Furthermore, I realize that many of those people can afford their stuff, and that's fine. The problem is with parents feeling pressure to keep up even when they can't afford it.

I heard people in my neighborhood, at my elementary school in West Plano say things like: "Oh, that kid lives in the apartments. I won't let my kid play with him" I heard people say, "Oh, they live in the neighborhood with the smaller houses. I don't want my child to be in her Cub Scout Den."

I knew many people who got into big financial trouble, who lost houses all while getting their weekly manicures and pedicures, buying clothing at the most expensive stores. Why would someone who knows they are in financial trouble keep spending like this? Because they feel they will be judged, and some people will judge.

I never bought into that hype. We pay cash for our cars and own our house outright with no mortgage. We don't like debt, and we judge people by the content of their character, not by the clothes they wear. Living someplace less materialistic is very pleasant.

[Warnpeace]

People running till out of breath to keep up with Jonses of their area are in every town and in every social class. We need to learn from their mistakes and use them to knock financial sense in our children. If you are secure in yourself than you don't have to worry about which car neighbors are driving and how they are paying for it. Why give a ****? By the way Planoites, I' m waiting for some productive ideas to beautify & serenize our town.

[Big G]

Originally Posted by nonexpat

I heard people in my neighborhood, at my elementary school in West Plano say things like: "Oh, that kid lives in the apartments. I won't let my kid play with him" I heard people say, "Oh, they live in the neighborhood with the smaller houses. I don't want my child to be in her Cub Scout Den."

That HAS to be Hightower. 'Tudes like that were one of the big reasons I chose to stick with the Central Cluster schools.

That, and the cars. I'm with you on that one. PSHS has its share of late-model F-150s, but nothing like the sea of Bimmers at PWSH. Craazy. Just because you can buy your kid a fancy car doesn't mean you should. And, like you say, it's largely a "what will the neighbors think?" mentality.

[stan4]

Originally Posted by Big G

That, and the cars. I'm with you on that one. PSHS has its share of late-model F-150s, but nothing like the sea of Bimmers at PWSH. Craazy. Just because you can buy your kid a fancy car doesn't mean you should. And, like you say, it's largely a "what will the neighbors think?" mentality.

Pffffffffft...or maybe the kids like cars.
Most of the kids I knew who had BMWs got their parents' castoffs.
And many 'regular' trucks/suvs cost more than a 3 series BMW.

[stan4]

Originally Posted by nonexpat

Furthermore, I realize that many of those people can afford their stuff, and that's fine. The problem is with parents feeling pressure to keep up even when they can't afford it. .

That's their problem, isn't it?
I mean, they can't go around expecting other people not to have nice things just because it freaks them out because they can't afford it.

Btw, buying nice things doesn't make you materialistic.

It's the worship of these things that does.

[ReppingDFW]

Originally Posted by nonexpat

I certainly won't say that only Plano suffers from this mentality, but the fact that this is personal choice isn't relevant at all. Of course, it's personal choice. The fact that so many people who can't afford these trappings and go into credit card debt because they are so desperate and insecure definitely affects my life and the lives of my children. The fact that they personally choose to think that material goods are how they should be judged and that material goods are that important affects the whole vibe of a place.

Furthermore, I realize that many of those people can afford their stuff, and that's fine. The problem is with parents feeling pressure to keep up even when they can't afford it.

I heard people in my neighborhood, at my elementary school in West Plano say things like: "Oh, that kid lives in the apartments. I won't let my kid play with him" I heard people say, "Oh, they live in the neighborhood with the smaller houses. I don't want my child to be in her Cub Scout Den."

I'm calling BS, you're exaggerating on some things and making up the rest. I've lived in Plano all my life (and went to PWSH which you seem to focus on) and I never met anyone who was that much of a snob. Some of my best friends from high school lived in apartments... There were a small handful of students who had ritzy cars, but they were by far the minority. I for one worked when I was in high school and paid for my car and gasoline myself. The families and people I knew aren't the people you're describing.

You seem very bitter and concerned about how other people live their lives. Plano's a better place now that you've moved on.

[ReppingDFW]

Like anything, there are positives and negatives. In my
"What I miss about Plano thread", the number one item on my list was the excellent schools. On the other hand, I don't miss the crazy parents. There were people who signed up their kids for SAT lessons at Karen Dillard's for the Duke Talent Search in seventh grade, which expressly states not to do test prep. I feel much more relaxed in a good way now, and although my kids' high school isn't as good as Plano, I still feel they are getting a good education.

Well, that's their problem then... Don't see how this affects you...


My child was playing in our front yard in West Plano, and a woman pulled over and made him come in and get me. She then regaled me with kidnapping stories. My next-door neighbor wouldn't allow her first grade daughter to walk two blocks to school with my fourth grader. I knew many, many like this. Only when the kids got into middle school did some parents loosen up. I knew several people who all lived on a cul de sac in West Plano and would only allow the kids to play outside if one of them was out there watching. So, yes things must have changed.

I'm just saying that Plano has little natural beauty. The neighborhoods are very pretty in a manicured way. I now live with mountain views everywhere. It's a very nice thing--much nicer than parking lots. Austin the place I moved to after Plano was also much prettier--just sayin'. It's lovely to sit at a cafe or restaurant and see a nice view.

This is North Texas... not the Hawaiian Islands or Colorado. Austin is in a much more scenic part of the state.

I certainly wouldn't succumb to the spoiling, but there is no doubt that kids feel pressure from their peer group to behave in certain ways. Furthermore, there is a lot of social jockeying that is all about who has the most stuff and money with a huge amount of value put on material stuff. Once you are away from it, you realize what a pain in neck being surrounded by those attitudes was. I feel a relief.

I graduated from Plano West and I call BS. There was no social jockeying about who has the most stuff and money. Nobody really cared. I came from a middle class family and had friends who had very wealthy parents and friends who had poorer parents, nobody really cared. As for the peer pressure, it exists at very single high school in the United States... not specific to Plano schools.

[Warnpeace]

I find it confusing, why would I expect people to concur to my philosophy of not buying fancy cars for the kids. Am I trying to be the Jones of the town. If my kid wants everything that other kid has then its my problem and I deal with it. I can't expect other parents to take things away from their children.

[Double-G]

I find it confusing, why would I expect people to concur to my philosophy of not buying fancy cars for the kids. Am I trying to be the Jones of the town. If my kid wants everything that other kid has then its my problem and I deal with it. I can't expect other parents to take things away from their children.

Quite so. The OP is posturing in the same way that Mark Zuckerberg did when he opened NASDAQ wearing a hoodie.