homesick (Dallas, Austin, Plano: fit in, apartments, for rent)

[OhioEm]

I moved from Ohio to Dallas to be with my boyfriend and I am extremely homesick. I can't believe how different the culture is in Dallas. I'm living in uptown and was warned about the vanity but I didn't understand it until I experienced it. I feel uncomfortable even leaving the house. I was seen in a pair of sweats outside my condo and was told by the neighbors that I looked like a foreigner and I need to retire my "university wear".....yet it was Sunday and I was in my own place. I have already considered getting eyelash extensions and hair extensions just to fit the mold here. I considered myself a social person however I almost have a social anxiety now and just want to hide in the crowd. My boyfriend got a great opportunity and I finally got a job and I volunteer but I am just not adjusting to the culture. I was expecting a very friendly atmosphere and haven't seen much of that attitude. I was told that I will eventually make friends but why would I want to live somewhere where I don't appreciate the culture? Has anyone had a similar experience? I find myself crying almost daily and it's ruining my relationship. I don't know what the answer is but if I go back home then I will likely lose my boyfriend. I don't know the answer and this blog wasn't intended to bash Dallas but more so to express my culture shock and severe homesickness. Any suggestions?

[Davros]

You could try living in the suburbs.

[OhioEm]

We are under a contract for rent but have considered to only go out in the suburbs or maybe Addison. I work up North and feel much more comfortable there so that's a good idea

[TheOverdog]

I would just tell the neighbors to 'eff off' and wear whatever I want. I've never had a stranger make such a comment before and I lived in an apartment in uptown for a while. My neighbors were of the head nod when we pass variety.

[MckinneyOwnr]

I used to live in Uptown, from 2000 to about 2006. There are definitely some areas that are pretentious. However, just a bit further south on McKinney Ave, there are a lot of cool, laid back places to hang out. Look around the Idle Rich Pub area, it's very laid back, a t-shirt and jeans crowd. Or, go have a drink at the Gingerman. Definitely not a pretentious place.

I guess my advice would be to keep your chin up. Uptown is right next to Cedar Springs, a place known for flamboyant LGBT people and lifestyles. Don't let a few bad apples make you feel bad about your appearance. Dallas as a whole is incredibly diverse, you can be yourself and fit in just fine.

[Willsson]

Life should be an adventure. If you change something about the adventure to suit someone else then you're not having an adventure, your that person's guest.

Don't change anything, forge ahead, be yourself. Be involved in your own life, not what someone else thinks your life should be.

[BigDGeek]

Originally Posted by OhioEm

I moved from Ohio to Dallas to be with my boyfriend and I am extremely homesick. I can't believe how different the culture is in Dallas. I'm living in uptown and was warned about the vanity but I didn't understand it until I experienced it. I feel uncomfortable even leaving the house. I was seen in a pair of sweats outside my condo and was told by the neighbors that I looked like a foreigner and I need to retire my "university wear".....yet it was Sunday and I was in my own place. I have already considered getting eyelash extensions and hair extensions just to fit the mold here. I considered myself a social person however I almost have a social anxiety now and just want to hide in the crowd. My boyfriend got a great opportunity and I finally got a job and I volunteer but I am just not adjusting to the culture. I was expecting a very friendly atmosphere and haven't seen much of that attitude. I was told that I will eventually make friends but why would I want to live somewhere where I don't appreciate the culture? Has anyone had a similar experience? I find myself crying almost daily and it's ruining my relationship. I don't know what the answer is but if I go back home then I will likely lose my boyfriend. I don't know the answer and this blog wasn't intended to bash Dallas but more so to express my culture shock and severe homesickness. Any suggestions?

I haven't had people critique my clothing like that since I was growing up in Preston Hollow with the snobs. Up here in Richardson nobody ever hassles me for the way I choose to dress, or the fact that I do not wear makeup.

[pepper131]

I know what you mean. I'm from Michigan originally so I think I know what you are talking about. I think you will feel more comfortable in East Dallas where artificialness is not the norm; the people are real.
Does that mean you should move right away? No. Just go hang out over here. Get comfortable finding a place that feels like its more your speed.
So where to start? There's the Skillman/Live Oak area - Goldrush for breakfast.
The Gaston/Abrams area - this is Lakewood Shopping Center - pop into Curiosities.
Mockingbird/Abrams - maybe Taco Joint.
Go east a bit more to Garland Rd/Peavy - Good 2 Go for breakfast or lunch tacos, Goodfriend for beer and burgers at dinner, 20 Feet for seafood at lunch/dinner. Parking is tricky here; you can park in the back too or up the street.

Start with that. Let us know how you like it.

[BeenThereDunThat]

I wouldn't give any of the comments that make you feel self-conscious about your appearance / clothing too much thought.
Naturally, you wouldn't want to dress in sweats for a church social but if you feel you need to alter your appearance to fit in, I'd say you're listening to the wrong crowd and need to reassess the folks you hang with.

Just sayin'.... good luck!

[Johnhw2]

Originally Posted by OhioEm

I moved from Ohio to Dallas to be with my boyfriend and I am extremely homesick. I can't believe how different the culture is in Dallas. I'm living in uptown and was warned about the vanity but I didn't understand it until I experienced it. I feel uncomfortable even leaving the house. I was seen in a pair of sweats outside my condo and was told by the neighbors that I looked like a foreigner and I need to retire my "university wear".....yet it was Sunday and I was in my own place. I have already considered getting eyelash extensions and hair extensions just to fit the mold here. I considered myself a social person however I almost have a social anxiety now and just want to hide in the crowd. My boyfriend got a great opportunity and I finally got a job and I volunteer but I am just not adjusting to the culture. I was expecting a very friendly atmosphere and haven't seen much of that attitude. I was told that I will eventually make friends but why would I want to live somewhere where I don't appreciate the culture? Has anyone had a similar experience? I find myself crying almost daily and it's ruining my relationship. I don't know what the answer is but if I go back home then I will likely lose my boyfriend. I don't know the answer and this blog wasn't intended to bash Dallas but more so to express my culture shock and severe homesickness. Any suggestions?

Try the suburbs to the north. I live in W. Plano and have not experienced the vanity here which you are experiencing. I dress as I want day to day and whether in my old golf shorts and an old shirt or in wool slacks and dress shirt fit in fine up this way. I like a laid back life with conveniences near me along with diversity in where I live. Plano suits this well. Take a look at Legacy if that isnt too far north for you. I do go near Austin Waters area often but hear it too has walkable retail near higher density apartments.

Dont be discouraged, there are many types of places to live in Dallas each with a different vibe etc.