Advice for those thinking of moving to Wilmington: Don't (New Castle: fit in, apartment)

[Leaving Delaware]

I read once that New York City is like any other city only more so. If I were to modify that assessment and apply it to Wilmington, DE, I would say: Wilmington is like any other city only way, way worse.

After living in Wilmington for one year and making a genuine effort to get out and experience the city and its surroundings, I feel qualified to advise others to never attempt the same feat. There are two prevailing attitudes in Wilmington: denial and apathy. Denial is the attitude of the city's wealthy denizens, who can afford to live in nice, new, clean houses an condos, on the edge of the city. They save some money by not living in Philadelphia and are close enough to Philly, Baltimore, and Washington D.C. that they fool themselves into thinking they live in a clean, well-ordered, and privileged area. Apathy is the attitude of the poor; those living right in the city. They confront the fact that there is nothing clean, well-ordered, or privileged about Wilmington, but they let it change them into persons just as cold, unfriendly, limited, defeated, unkind, and unwelcoming as the city they call home. These are the people who populate and run downtown Wilmington, and honestly they can have it.

Trying to conduct official business in Wilmington (at the DMV or City Hall, for instance) ranks among the most unpleasant, unproductive, and frustratingly time consuming endeavors I have personally ever undertaken. If you attempt any prolonged interactions with city employees in Wilmington, your soul will ache for days afterward. Every single trip I have taken into downtown Wilmington has ended with me desperately and swiftly retreating back to my apartment, where I necessarily rehabilitate myself and try with all of my human might to banish the dark and deeply negative feelings I have developed regarding human beings and their true character and future as a species from my heart and mind, before such feeling become a permanent part of my perspective and I become just another defeated, mean-spirited, decaying urban zombie, devoid of all warmth, humor, or hope... in other words, before I become Wilmington to the core.

In all fairness, I should allow for one other prevailing attitude in Wilmington: acceptance and panic. Those who are not wealthy enough to be dominated by denial and not ingrained enough into the inner-city to have assumed its infinite awfulness as their own personalities simply realize how terrible the place they live truly is and promptly make plans to get out. I count myself among that final and smallest demographic. I'm leaving as soon as my lease is up; perhaps sooner.

As Wilmington shrinks in my rear view mirror, into the cold, gray, speck of living, seething ugliness that it is, there will be only one pang of regret clouding the otherwise elated relief that I'll be feeling. That regret will be for the poor soul who has moved in to take my place. Please, don't let that poor soul be you. And if you are new to Wilmington, make plans to leave now. Don't become a hard-hearted, frustrated casualty of the worst place in America.

[ctwhitechin]

come live in Hartford, and i'll bet you'll be happy with Wilmington. We are moving to Delaware most likely, I will probably end up living around newark and commuting to Wilmington. Hope you find some happiness wherever you live, but there is no Emerald City where everything is great all the time.

[Leesaw73]

Blah! What made you move to the city of Wilmington in the first place? Wilmington, IMO is the worst part of DE!

[Pine to Vine]

I have lived in many places including Wilmington. I've generally found that what I get from a city is proportional to however much of myself I'm willing to invest in it.

[doctorjef]

I find myself wondering where I would fit into the OP's demographic scheme. I'm also not sure whether the City of Wilmington proper is under indictment or the entire area of northern New Castle County. I must say, however, that I don't really care. Just one other comment: the DMV is staffed by State employees, not City employees; I've always found the DMV here very easy to deal with. I'll pose the rhetorical question: why might that be?

[DelawareLiz]

My mother's family were (mostly) poor Italian immigrants who lived in downtown Wilmington row homes ("the hood"). Some still live there, and I refuse to visit them--EVER. Nasty, hell-on-earth place that it is. I don't feel the need to be the victim of a drive-by....no, no thank you.

[Joe84323]

Well.. that was nice poetry... but if you think Wilmington is cruel and apathetic, I don't recommend the east coast. It only gets worse. Seriously.. Wilmington is friendly and chummy compared to Philadelphia.

I believe California may be a bit gentler to a sensitive, artistic person such as yourself. It is obvious you are not well suited for the east coast if you can't handle a small city like Wilmington. The cities get bigger, crueler, and more corrupt.

Overall, as a native Wilmingtonian, I am sorry for your experiences.

[queenofbavaria]

but ... I have to agree on the DMV employees. I am always released, as soon as I can leave that building. I was there 7 or 8 times and only ONCE had a friendly guy there (and he only warmed up, since he knew my hometown in germany).
Getting a SSN and EAD was a much nicer experience ....

Immigration officers and DMV - they have some things in common.

but I have to admit .. I only know the Delaware DMV - I am thrilled to compare it to the DMV Asheville/NC soon - and will let you know. maybe the DE DMV is heaven on earth - I just never appreciated it ?

[Joe84323]

The New Castle DMV is a dream... you get to SIT, they have like 20 windows, and it's huge and new.

Even the cop up front was nice to me.

Some people must get walked on. You guys know it's all right to have a bit of an attitude on ya, right? Lets other people know you mean business.

[jtees4]

Sounds like a lot of American cities really. Well described though....you should consider becoming a writer if you are not already.