Question About Making Friendships In Denver.. Strange Encounters (college, organic)

[N610DL]

Originally Posted by Mach50

I never really thought about it but you guys are dead on.

I would add that south Denver (Highlands Ranch, Littleton, Cherry hills village) feels identical to Orange County.

Downtown Littleton (layout) reminds me a lot of Downtown Fullerton, CA as well.

[NDL]

Originally Posted by RotseCherut

I am talking about sitting down with another person, having a long 2 to 3 hour conversation where they spill their guts out to you about everything about their life. One guy went deep into the subject about his ex-wife, how he had to fight her in court to regain custody of his daughters and how broken he was after she cheated on him. This is just one example of some strangely deep conversations I have gotten into with native Coloradans (spelled right this time I hope. lol)...

A couple of things:

First, you're very approachable; second, you're very perceptive; third, you're down to earth.

There's no sarcasm in my question: how liquored up are the men that you're meeting?

If I were liquored up, in a bar, and I started talking with someone who is approachable, insightful, and down to earth - hell - how many times have you discussed your deepest problems with a stranger, because you don't know them, and will likely never see them again?

The second component speaks to a social phenomenon that's somewhat new: no one gives a damn.

How many times have you extended yourself to an acquaintance, because it was "the right thing to do?"

Over the past three or four years, I have met new people at my inlaws home over the holidays, because they extended an invitation to a neighbor that might not have family in the area. Why do they do it? Because it's the "right thing to do;" it honors the spirit of the holiday that they're celebrating.

Most people today don't give a damn. That's the sad truth of it.

[daprara]

Try to not contribute to the strange encounters:


-do not talk to people at bars, distracts from the alcohol consumption

-Casual sex and or a relationship search is all ways better on line; Tinder / Grinder...

-avoid fight club activities & hospital food; do not do the local football club or HPR test & tune nights (amateur racing)...

-get a dog

[sublet]

how bout those Bronc's...

[NDak15]

Originally Posted by RotseCherut

I have lived in a few places, but Colorado has been strange and hard for me to grasp about social interactions with people. So, I have met quite a few native Coloradoans and they seem quite friendly. However, you meet somebody from Colorado and they are friendly, you get into long conversation and they act almost like you were good buddies for a long time. Several people asked for my phone and they gave me theirs and tell me how much they want to go hang out or be interested to do some activities. I was pretty flattered and happy, especially coming from the Northwest where it is rare for somebody you would meet in a public space to be so bold to actually want to possibly form a friendship with you. However, the phenomenon I am experiencing here is strange to say the least.

So, I have gotten over 10 phone numbers from various guys (all potential platonic straight friendships) I meet at various places. I am new here and dreadfully lonely and find it very hard to meet any people. However, none of these people call me back; so, of course, I take the initiative. When I attempt to call or text these people, they almost act offended that I dared bother them or just act as if we never even met before. One guy said he really wanted me to come to his house, meet his wife and he desperately wanted friends. Kind of weird for someone I just met to say that. Literally, every single person I have attempted to connect with has flaked or blew me off when I tried to proceed with meeting up again.


I want to be glad I am in a place where you can actually make conversations with people, but actually I rather deal with cold and unfriendly people like in Seattle than people who pretend to be friendly , give you their number as some kind of weird social formality. I am mean, if you don't want to actually be friends don't give me your freakin number, tell me you want to hang out and lead me on. Sheesh, this is even worse than trying to get a date with a very beautiful girl! Male bonding shouldn't be this confusing. At least in Seattle and especially in Portland, if someone is being friendly to me, says they want to hang out and gives me their number they actually mean it. Getting a number from somebody in Seattle is rare, but you know its genuine. Here it is like a common thing, but then they are dumbfounded you actually thought they were serious. Is this some kind of weird Colorado formality to pretend to want to be friends with people?

As far as making friendships, I understand working long hours from home will put me at a disadvantage, but at least in other places I lived there was some type of activities or events that could potentially put you in scenarios where you could make friends. I regret that I am overcoming injuries and working so many hours, so playing soccer, football or hiking rigorous trails is just not an option now. I was hoping in a city of 3 million there could be some kind of environment with urban activities that don't revolve around getting drunk in a bar or drive hours into the mountains. Being that I am working 70-80 hrs/week, making long commitments like volunteer work also is just not an option now and I have also found that is not an easy way to make friends unless you really believe in what you are doing, as volunteer work can literally just be a second "unpaid" job in many cases.

The Meetup group scene here just seems to be hiking, LGBT, women's groups or business-related or groups that look legit but are deceptively money making ventures for meetup organizers. Never lived in a city where meetup groups charge $30 for the luxury for meeting up in a bar. Meetups like that in Seattle and Portland were almost always free. Here they are some type of special "mixer" event and you pay $30 to do the same exact thing. Meetup in a bar, drink and meet strangers.

I find it really hard to meet people. I also notice people tend to not say hello and turn their face. I guess that is just common these days in 2019.. People seem friendly though in professional settings and polite. I find the customer service in Colorado is much better than in the Northwest , where many employees act like they are superior to you and doing you a favor by letting you shop there. At least in Colorado, I find that you get treated better in stores and such. I can respect that.

The friendliest people I have met here seem to be Midwestern and Southern transplants. I don't know what it is, but Texans I meet seem to be most genuine and friendly people. I have yet to get a phone number from one, probably because they know we are not at any level of friendship, so why lead me on if you have no plans of wanting to really hang out? I find Midwestern and Southern people to be more genuine. I notice all these weird encounters have been from Colorado natives and still trying to figure it all out.

People are flaky just abut everywhere these days. Not sure what it is but its ****ing irritating.

[TinaTwo]

Originally Posted by Ankhharu

I posted something similar awhile back, and agree. Although I've finally made some friends here, they are not American. Which is fine, just odd I guess.
But meetup? Meetup.com was great when I lived in Chicago, LA, Dallas and somewhat ok in SLC for the size. But here? Yea, it sucks. I can't get over how many meetups here start at 4:30-5:30 during the week DOWNTOWN, the tech meetups for example. Most of us get off at 5 and then I have to fight traffic to get downtown and then pay $20 for parking. By then, the meetup is almost over. And you're right, it seems the overwhelming majority or hiking or outdoorsy. The ones that aren't are usually dead or a scam. Like some of the social ones. Some guy Sam has quite the racket going. He's the admin for around 3 groups that focus on transplants / night life / singles. I paid the membership fee when I first moved here for one of the social night life meetups. Thought it would be a great way to meet people like it was elsewhere. That was a mistake. I was still required to pay at the door of to these meetups. Then I watched this guy collect the money and bounce. The first one I went to was a Halloween party. He wasn't in costume, claimed it was in the car, I literally watched him get in his car that was parked out front and leave. Watched it happen a 2nd time and again, he collects, doesn't socialize, then leaves. On the 3rd time, I refused his money arguing I had paid the membership. I left, went home and reported him to Meetup but of course they did nothing, didn't even respond.

Wow, sounds like some of the Meetup organizers use Meetup events for a part time job. Having to pay 30$ to meet at a bar is ridiculous.

[sheerbliss]

OP, I'm from Denver. It's not a very friendly place. I'm impressed that you got 2-hour conversations out of people.

Contrary to popular belief, there's no overabundance of men there. Look at the last census if you don't believe me. Go someplace where women your age gather (your chances will be a lot better with women your own age), like a dance or museum or concert. You'll probably be one of the few single men there.

[COcheesehead]

Originally Posted by sheerbliss

OP, I'm from Denver. It's not a very friendly place.

Oh that is just not true. We find it was more friendly than many places. You need to engage people and find commonality. It is a very open and accepting city.

[sheerbliss]

Originally Posted by COcheesehead

Oh that is just not true. We find it was more friendly than many places. You need to engage people and find commonality. It is a very open and accepting city.

I spent 43 years there. You think I never tried to engage people or find commonality during that time?

[Ankhharu]

Originally Posted by sheerbliss

Contrary to popular belief, there's no overabundance of men there. Look at the last census if you don't believe me. Go someplace where women your age gather (your chances will be a lot better with women your own age), like a dance or museum or concert. You'll probably be one of the few single men there.

Despite the fact that a large majority of people don't participate in the census (myself and 2 male roommates included), the census shows that men do outnumber women here. The Menver moniker is fitting. And anyone can go to a bar, club, musuem, concert, etc and anyone can see that that men out number women here by a significant margin.