Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know alot about health. Generally those which don't weigh as much are healthier. That's a given. You don't need to eat much to survive, considering you're eating the right foods. All fat people need to do is see what thin, fit, healthy people eat.
The most common among us is eating oatmeal. those that don't, did. Have it for breakfast. It expends in the stomach to feel full all day.
There are a few which are still healthy but weigh more. But not many.
When you exercise hardcore, it doesn't work that way. Not when it's a lifestyle, as it should be.
And by the way, I am 135 at the moment (I forgot, I lost 10 lbs recently) but you cannot tell much of a difference. So I am a little heavier
but who cares? I am healthy. That's what matters.
Oh, dear gawd, there is so much wrong with this that I don't know where to start.
No, it is NOT about emulating a thin, healthy person's diet. Fat cells do not work that way.
This means that there are people in this world who simply have too many fat cells to begin with to ever be very slim or slender.
Look at fat cells like a stack of books or binders. You can tear the pages out, and the stack may get smaller, but it will only get so small because the covers take up a certain amount of space. Same deal.
Now if you want to talk about what affects the number of fat cells in the body and why some people's fat cells are more efficient at storing fat than others, well, you can go to PubMed and read a ton of research about it.
Suffice it to say that if someone is 195 pounds and normally eats about 3,000-4,000 calories per day, and that person looks at a 120-pound person who eats 1,300 calories per day and decides to do the same thing, the person who is 195 pounds will wreak absolute havoc on their metabolism. Their metabolism will slow down because the body will spin into starvation mode.
This is why telling obese people to "eat only salad," like WestCobb implied upthread, and comments like yours, are so dangerous. You don't know what you are talking about. Heck, simple green salads with a couple of cucumbers and cherry tomatoes are probably the most nutritionally LACKING of weight-loss techniques not only because such salads lack vitamins and minerals, but because they lack protein and fat to give the person a sense of satiety. Result? Person gets sick of starving and binges.
Anyone who wants to lose weight can do their own research. They can learn about things that impact their health, like high-fructose corn syrup, the crap that lines soda cans, genetics, hormonal status, gender differences, the difference between simple carbs and complex carbs, the need for low-fat forms of protein, the need for vitamins, etc. If the OP's girlfriend is in college, she's probably still on her parents' health insurance, and she can go see a doctor to get cleared for an exercise program and get a referral to a nutritionist.
And that is what I would tell anyone wishing to lose weight who doesn't already do something health-related for a living: Speak to a doctor and a nutritionist--not random squawkers on an internet message board.
OP, after reading all of the replies and thinking this over, I have a solution for you. You should tell your gf of three years the following:
You're too fat for me. I am looking for a woman who respects herself too much to abuse her body with food. We're through.
My guess is that this will be a big wake up call for her and she will lose a lot of weight -- once you and she have been separated of course. She will forever hate you. You'll be the biggest jerk in the world to her -- but you will have kept her from an early grave.
Why are you acting as if these 19 or 20 year olds are each others ONLY dating options? Their lives will not be ruined if they are not meant to be together. Actually, maybe it would be best if they break-up so that they could experience dating other people while in college. Maybe the girlfriend will lose weight and realize ALL of the hot guys on campus that she could have been dating. Perhaps she will land a hot frat guy and never look back.
Force, as if hold them down? Of course that's not ok!
What in the world? Change someone else? this is about someone eating themselves into oblivion who needs help. How in the world does helping someone equate to "changing them"
And even so, what in the world is wrong with "changing someone" we take people to the doctor to get well That changes their health. It "changes someone" why is that so evil to you, how is caring and loving someone to have a better life turned into a bad thing? Why does this offend you so much?
If you want to self destruct, go for it. But don't try to promote it for others.
It's always about others for you isn't it? Though that person needs help, somehow it's twisted into a sefl righteous thing. Wake up, become human. Care about others. Quit worring about motives, then assuming the worst in the process.
Well people are quite disposable to you then? Maybe it's that mindset that contributes to others who eat this type of junk, who turn their bodies into garbage disposals? Luckily the world is full of people who DO Care.
Trust me, you're not emotionally healthy. Your mindset is of a sick person who needs help. You push self destruction, not hope, caring or love. It's not about you. The world isn't about US. Think of others.
What ARE you talking about? Did you even READ my earlier posts in this thread were I stated that I live a healthy lifestyle and provided tips for the OP to share with his girlfriend? Obviously you are projecting, my dear.
I am very compassionate and loving. I also love myself enough to not start romantic relationships with people who are not emotionally healthy. Why would I?
This is why telling obese people to "eat only salad," like WestCobb implied upthread, and comments like yours, are so dangerous.
That was a joke, lilac .. a poor one, I guess. I know all about nutrition, obesity, genetic propensity toward being heavy, etc. Pretty much everyone in my family growing up was obese. My dad died of colon cancer at age 52. My mom died of cancer at 59. My oldest sister died of diabetes at 42. My other sister was obese (plus 300 lbs) until she underwent surgery. She still struggles with her weight. The driver's license that she was issued when she was 18 listed her weight as 185 lbs btw.
I was overweight as a child. At the age of 12 or so though, I began to research what to eat. What I discovered is that my family's diet was HORRIBLE. Pretty typical of the average American diet though. I began making modifications and became thin. Most members of my family thought it was a miracle .. I was the naturally thin one... . Um no, I just discovered that a diet that was 80 percent lean proteins and vegetables is much better for you than one that is 80 percent fast food and processed snacks.
Why are you acting as if these 19 or 20 year olds are each others ONLY dating options? Their lives will not be ruined if they are not meant to be together. Actually, maybe it would be best if they break-up so that they could experience dating other people while in college. Maybe the girlfriend will lose weight and realize ALL of the hot guys on campus that she could have been dating. Perhaps she will land a hot frat guy and never look back.
I'm not acting like they should stay together. In fact, my honest is advice is that he should break up with her and make it very clear to her that it's because she's fat. She probably will lose weight as a result.
This means that there are people in this world who simply have too many fat cells to begin with to ever be very slim or slender.
Look at fat cells like a stack of books or binders. You can tear the pages out, and the stack may get smaller, but it will only get so small because the covers take up a certain amount of space. Same deal.
Now if you want to talk about what affects the number of fat cells in the body and why some people's fat cells are more efficient at storing fat than others, well, you can go to PubMed and read a ton of research about it.
Suffice it to say that if someone is 195 pounds and normally eats about 3,000-4,000 calories per day, and that person looks at a 120-pound person who eats 1,300 calories per day and decides to do the same thing, the person who is 195 pounds will wreak absolute havoc on their metabolism. Their metabolism will slow down because the body will spin into starvation mode.
This is why telling obese people to "eat only salad," like WestCobb implied upthread, and comments like yours, are so dangerous. You don't know what you are talking about. Heck, simple green salads with a couple of cucumbers and cherry tomatoes are probably the most nutritionally LACKING of weight-loss techniques not only because such salads lack vitamins and minerals, but because they lack protein and fat to give the person a sense of satiety. Result? Person gets sick of starving and binges.
Anyone who wants to lose weight can do their own research. They can learn about things that impact their health, like high-fructose corn syrup, the crap that lines soda cans, genetics, hormonal status, gender differences, the difference between simple carbs and complex carbs, the need for low-fat forms of protein, the need for vitamins, etc. If the OP's girlfriend is in college, she's probably still on her parents' health insurance, and she can go see a doctor to get cleared for an exercise program and get a referral to a nutritionist.
And that is what I would tell anyone wishing to lose weight who doesn't already do something health-related for a living: Speak to a doctor and a nutritionist--not random squawkers on an internet message board.
I agree with everything you've stated here. It seems to make sense from my understanding of fat cells except possibly, the fact that diet and exercise IS the key role in keeping someone healthy. Of course there are some that have spiralled so downward they cannot exercise and it is what it is. So you do what you can, go to the pool and exercise in that. We can only do what we can do. This is invaluable information and though it's on a message board, seems pretty accurate.
I'm not acting like they should stay together. In fact, my honest is advice is that he should break up with her and make it very clear to her that it's because she's fat. She probably will lose weight as a result.
Except he isn't breaking up with her because she's fat, he cares about her. It's her health.
I realize most people don't like to date fat people but the OP cares for his girlfriend. If he's tried and tried, then if she continues to spiral downward, I suppose his life shouldn't be such. He would need to break it off just as you would with any addict. But only he knows his threshold.
That was a joke, lilac .. a poor one, I guess. I know all about nutrition, obesity, genetic propensity toward being heavy, etc. Pretty much everyone in my family growing up was obese. My dad died of colon cancer at age 52. My mom died of cancer at 59. My oldest sister died of diabetes at 42. My other sister was obese (plus 300 lbs) until she underwent surgery. She still struggles with her weight. The driver's license that she was issued when she was 18 listed her weight as 185 lbs btw.
I was overweight as a child. At the age of 12 or so though, I began to research what to eat. What I discovered is that my family's diet was HORRIBLE. Pretty typical of the average American diet though. I began making modifications and became thin. Most members of my family thought it was a miracle .. I was the naturally thin one... . Um no, I just discovered that a diet that was 80 percent lean proteins and vegetables is much better for you than one that is 80 percent fast food and processed snacks.
Aight. I hear you. I just try to keep in mind that some people who come here don't know when people are joking. And given the amount of flat-out arrogance and obnoxiousness that is the routine keyboard vomitus of certain regulars who just looooooove the opportunity to spew their misogyny and desire to dominate and control women, well, yes, it is hard to tell who is serious and who is not.
And not for nothing, but my father, a natural skinny malink, nagged my mother about her weight, and that is a whole other bag of beans I don't want to spill here. Suffice it to say that does a number on a woman's psyche, especially if she has other health conditions not related to her weight.
It really is just oh so very simple. Here, let me explain.
If someone's lifestyle and/or habits are incompatible with my own....I leave. Easy peasy. Done. I'm not going to try to mold, bend and change someone else to suit me. I will let that person continue to be exactly who they are and I will free myself to find a person who is more compatible to my lifestyle/needs. Easy. Simple. Done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy
It is also not ok for a person who is healthy to try to force another person to change when it is out of their control.
How is it "uncaring" to realize that I can not change someone else? People who are codependent are the ones who feel a need to be saviors and martyrs. If I am dating someone who has habits or a lifestyle that is not compatible with my own...I wish that person well and leave. How is loving and respecting myself "unfeeling and self-centered"? If I am emotionally healthy, why should I invest in someone who is not?
Aight. I hear you. I just try to keep in mind that some people who come here don't know when people are joking. And given the amount of flat-out arrogance and obnoxiousness that is the routine keyboard vomitus of certain regulars who just looooooove the opportunity to spew their misogyny and desire to dominate and control women, well, yes, it is hard to tell who is serious and who is not.
And not for nothing, but my father, a natural skinny malink, nagged my mother about her weight, and that is a whole other bag of beans I don't want to spill here. Suffice it to say that does a number on a woman's psyche, especially if she has other health conditions not related to her weight.
I realize I can sound like a jerk no this topic, lilac, but I really am genuinely concerned about health. As you know, eating a steady diet of junk food (as most Americans do) can and will harm you. I love my sister dearly, but I am frustrated by her. All of her kids are obese. It makes her sad. She wishes they weren't -- however, she feeds them the same crap we grew up on ... cheese quesadilla for breakfast, hold the sour cream .. let's be healthy . She just has no idea what it takes to actually eat right.
You'd think that she'd get a clue after our entire family died from health related diseases due to poor diet, but she hasn't. She marvels over how my daughter is so naturally thin .. yeah, naturally. Again . I love her and want her to live a long and healthy life, but I will be surprised if she makes it to 65. She was about the weight the OP's gf is when she was 20.
I am not a self righteous jerk in real life. I don't nag her and preach to her about what she should be eating and feeding her children. If asked, I answer --- she quickly loses interest though when I explain what it takes to be thin.
My wife was the typical 10 pounds overweight most of our lives. I didn't care. She eats pretty healthy most of the time. After she began doing some of her own research though, she discovered how harmful regular intakes of sugar are .. even in small doses .. and she cut that out. She lost 25 pounds (and she was on the small side by American standards). Now her sisters marvel and wonder how she got the "good genes." Again . She tells them what she does and what she eats, but they obviously don't follow suit. It shows on their backsides.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. Um no, I just discovered that a diet that was 80 percent lean proteins and vegetables is much better for you than one that is 80 percent fast food and processed snacks.
