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I wish I had the time and inclination to have you come to MY home, say for a week, and allow me to 'train' you like you seem to be training/expecting your dogs to get trained. I don't have a crate that big, and I truly have never had to crate any dog, esp puppies, but I 'get them' and their schedules, which are not always ours. Instead, I just suggest you do not get another dog...ever.
I'm also guessing that you have no kids. Please don't have them and then get a pup for them without learning HOW to properly train one. It will be a disaster for all involved. Maybe get a hobby.
I said I was going to ignore mean comments. It's odd to me that other people can report problems and frustration and get helpful advice, and I only get things like this.
I said I was going to ignore mean comments. It's odd to me that other people can report problems and frustration and get helpful advice, and I only get things like this.
Dude! This is not 'mean'. I had to REwrite it 10 times NOT to be mean. I see that you don't 'get it' about an animals habits and I am too old and tired to mess with training you, as I feel from your long and detailed OP that no matter what is said to help you, you will have some reason it won't/cannot work for you.
I sense a 'right fighter' in you. Look it up via Dr.Phil's website if you don't know what one is. I don't mess with those, either, as life is too short to be frustrated via City-Data.
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE own dogs and work and have families and they seem to co-house without any or many of the problems you have listed. When that happens, you must look within and see what YOU are doing wrong...then change.
Just find a hobby...it's much easier. I am finished and have not been mean. I am trying to save a few dogs AND YOU from a jail sentence that I see coming.
Dude! This is not 'mean'. I had to REwrite it 10 times NOT to be mean. I see that you don't 'get it' about an animals habits and I am too old and tired to mess with training you, as I feel from your long and detailed OP that no matter what is said to help you, you will have some reason it won't/cannot work for you.
I sense a 'right fighter' in you. Look it up via Dr.Phil's website if you don't know what one is. I don't mess with those, either, as life is too short to be frustrated via City-Data.
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE own dogs and work and have families and they seem to co-house without any or many of the problems you have listed. When that happens, you must look within and see what YOU are doing wrong...then change.
Just find a hobby...it's much easier. I am finished and have not been mean. I am trying to save a few dogs AND YOU from a jail sentence that I see coming.
Okay, maybe you're right. I'm wrong, then. I do apologize, though, and, yes, I do get very emotional when things don't go my way, because it's somehow my fault, but isn't everyone like that? I take it personally when things aren't the way I think they should be, but, really, isn't that what everyone does? Parents get angry at their children if they disobey them, because it's a question of honor. A disobedient child is communicating to larger society that the parent has no authority, or perhaps knowledge, to keep order in the household. The farmer disciplines the horse, because it did not do as it was told. I sometimes get very frustrated if I try to teach a pet to do something that should be easy, and it doesn't do it. These are normal reactions are they not?
(...and I know I've done something wrong, because my cats have done as well as my dogs in the obedience department...)
I've written more, but I think I'm taking that to yet another thread, because this appears to be a big issue for me for some reason. I'm sorry, but to me dog ownership is all lies. That kind of sums up how I feel, how I really feel.
Okay, maybe you're right. I'm wrong, then. I do apologize, though, and, yes, I do get very emotional when things don't go my way, because it's somehow my fault, but isn't everyone like that?
I can only speak for myself. I 'get the feeling' you are young. Pets are a HUGE responsibility and a LOT of it. They don't go behind your back and do things to **** you off...tho' I do have a cat who 'gets ticked' and will go pee in the center of the bed when she is ticked! It isn't AT me, personally, it's because her 'routine' is different and that is the only way she can let me know to keep her routine the same. She is old like I am, so I'd rather change and make sure HER routine is the same so I don't have to take a king load of bed linens and comforters to the laundromat.
Dogs a quite simple to train. They are exactly like toddlers, but toddlers need 'schedules', which ironically like dogs, and IF you follow those, life is better than when you do not.
Here are a few rules to live by with pets:
When their eyes open, just like YOURs, they have to go out to pee. Isn't that what you do when you wake up? It matters not if it is Sunday or a Holiday or you stayed out all night drinking and are hung over, or have the flu and it's snowing out...when they wake up they MUST go out and pee.
As soon as you feed an animal, that signals their bodies to 'move on down the line' and they need to poop in a short time...no matter that you put them in a crate, or need to meet friends at the gym, or have a bad headache and your boss chewed you out today. They need to go for a walk or they poop in the house.
ALL animals need DAILY EXERCISE...and animals below age 3 yrs need it more for good health. If they do not get it, they find the only ways they know to get it...they CHEW, TEAR UP, DESTROY stuff. IF crated, they often get 'anxiety' and chew their nails, etc like humans who are crated would.
Am I making any headway?? Having a dog is EXACTLY like having a toddler 24/7. You can't MAKE them into what you want. THEY make you into good or bad owners. It's a LOT of MAJOR responsibility and not for young 20=somethings (for the most part). Your 20s are for being free to come and go, get crazy drunk, spend days away with your friends, and find out WHO you are and what kind of work you will be doing for another 40+ yrs. It IS that simple. You do not need a dog now...you want one.
Although I use the reference TODDLER for dogs, that is because they remain that way always. They might be 10 yrs old but their brains are like a 3 yr old. Toddlers don't have much inkling about disobedience, they like what they like when they like it. They think the World revolves around them.
A true sign of maturity in your 20s is not thinking EVERYTHING is still about YOU...meant for you, to you, about you. I know all about THIS...I have a 20-something and he is getting there, but not there yet.
Good luck.
Thank you. I may know what you mean. I've read that taking care of a dog properly is like taking care of another kid. If these things are that much responsibility, though, why on Earth are they considered pets fit for children? I know for a fact that most kids do not have that much of a sense of responsibility. I remember the first time my parents got me a puppy (I was in the sixth grade) and how mad and frustrated I eventually got with it. Why do people advocate letting young kids handle dogs if they're only going to become frustrated with them? Middle school students definitely don't know how to deal with toddlers.
Thank you, I may know what you mean. If these things are that much responsibility, why on Earth are they considered pets fit for children? I know for a fact that most kids do not have that much of a sense of responsibility.
If I had a dollar for every pup, kitty, bunny, turtle, gerbil that was given to a child less than 10 yrs old as a present at a holiday then either died, got rehomed, etc (see Craigslist PETS) I could retire to a beautiful island resort in Figi and never need another thing.
Let kids BE kids. Teaching them to care for pets is done by your and your wife/husbands examples and showing them how YOU do it, not getting the animals and expecting them to 'take care of them'. Kids do not have that kind of attention spans! The part of the brain that is responsible for cause and effect isn't fully developed until age 25 or OLDER. That is new information that we didn't know back in the Dinosaur Age. I see daily on Craigslist that some single Mom is hunting a FREE puppy for their 3 yr old and new baby 'to grow up with'. It's a disaster just waiting to happen. No, I don't even try to respond to an ad like that because I like my BP nice and low and I cannot fix stupid.
Hopefully, when you know better, you do better...not YOU personally, but if the shoe fits...
I gotta take my dog out for her last walk to do her 'things' for the night, and find the cat to come in for the night. I hope and pray she isn't 'ticked off'.
You do seem to know your stuff, but have you checked with the vet for a bladder or kidney infection? The cat may be having accidents because of that. Cats usually soil in response to their environment, not their emotional state. At least, this is what I've heard. I once found a cat that developed a habit of doing number two on the bed at times. The cat didn't know how to use a litter box. I'm assuming maybe it was declawed or subjected to some other form of abuse. I wish people wouldn't declaw cats. It causes them all kinds of problems, physical and emotional. (I once encountered at a shelter a declawed cat that was so mean you couldn't touch it.) Then again, is your cat intact? Sometimes cats spray to mark territory. Also, do you have any other cats in the house? Sometimes cats miss the litter box due to territorial issues. I'm not saying all cats should know how to use the litter box. (Believe it or not, there are breeds of cats and circumstances where cats develop a habit of not using the litter box. I guess for a dog owner that would be no big deal, but I will tell you from experience, it can be maddening for those of us who are used to easily housebroken cats. )
Some cats who miss the litter box regularly respond pretty well to crate training; just get a medium-sized dog crate, a litter box, and some food and water containers. Leave the cat in the box most of the day, except during playtime, so that it can get used to smell of the litter. It also works if you lock the cat in a small room in the house, like a bathroom or closet. I can't say it's one-hundred percent successful, and you've probably already tried it anyway, but it's worked for me when I've had cats who missed the box.
Other cats actually have to be walked like dogs, but, again, this is probably nothing strange for a dog owner who is used to all of this...work!
Thank you. I may know what you mean. I've read that taking care of a dog properly is like taking care of another kid. If these things are that much responsibility, though, why on Earth are they considered pets fit for children? I know for a fact that most kids do not have that much of a sense of responsibility. I remember the first time my parents got me a puppy (I was in the sixth grade) and how mad and frustrated I eventually got with it. Why do people advocate letting young kids handle dogs if they're only going to become frustrated with them? Middle school students definitely don't know how to deal with toddlers.
Because kids generally have these things called parents. These mythical beings, especially the mom type, see to it that the dog gets what it needs, whether she directly gives it to the dog or, better yet, guides the child doing it. For kids, pets are wonderful additions to the family, but there still needs to be an adult ensuring that the welfare, training, and care taking needs of both are met. The kid fills a role more similar to a much older sibling.
__________________
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Do all of us dog lovers a favour. "Don't get a dog!!!!!!! Just a question, do kids hate you too?
I said that mean comments would be ignored. I really don't think you can make an argument like the other poster and convince me you aren't being mean.
For the record, though, kids seem to like me but a bit too much. I work as a substitute teacher to supplement my income, and they have this way of constantly wanting to play and not taking me seriously most of the time until I lay down the law. I appear super laid-back and act like nothing bothers me, but I assure you it's just an act. When I say, "no," I mean it. I've surprised kids with stern discipline (detention, calls home, immediately calling the teacher rather than waiting) that they thought I wouldn't give them because I looked so "nice."
I'm guessing my frustration is magnified through writing, partially because here, unlike real life, I can vent. I feel like I'm coming off as someone I'm not.
Last edited by krmb; 05-02-2015 at 06:11 AM..
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I wish I had the time and inclination to have you come to MY home, say for a week, and allow me to 'train' you like you seem to be training/expecting your dogs to get trained. I don't have a crate that big, and I truly have never had to crate any dog, esp puppies, but I 'get them' and their schedules, which are not always ours. Instead, I just suggest you do not get another dog...ever. 
It's odd to me that other people can report problems and frustration and get helpful advice, and I only get things like this.
Dude! This is not 'mean'. I had to REwrite it 10 times NOT to be mean. I see that you don't 'get it' about an animals habits and I am too old and tired to mess with training you, as I feel from your long and detailed OP that no matter what is said to help you, you will have some reason it won't/cannot work for you. 
I do apologize, though, and, yes, I do get very emotional when things don't go my way, because it's somehow my fault, but isn't everyone like that? I take it personally when things aren't the way I think they should be, but, really, isn't that what everyone does? Parents get angry at their children if they disobey them, because it's a question of honor. A disobedient child is communicating to larger society that the parent has no authority, or perhaps knowledge, to keep order in the household. The farmer disciplines the horse, because it did not do as it was told. I sometimes get very frustrated if I try to teach a pet to do something that should be easy, and it doesn't do it. These are normal reactions are they not?
