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Hello all, I'm new here and was just looking for some input. I had a Golden Retriever for the last couple of years. He was about a year old when I got him, and he was given to me by a neighbor who wasn't able to care for him anymore. He's a dark red, very good looking dog, and he's super smart.
Anyway, my sitaution is as follows. I used to be self employeed working from home, and I was always able to be there for him and care for him. I had no plans of this changing, but with the upredictable change in economy came a career change for me, one which requires me to be gone A LOT! I'll be working 12 or 24 hour shifts, and will be away from the house alot. I am single, so I don't have anyone I can rely on to take care of him or just be there for him when I'm gone. His temperment has always been good when I'm there with him, but he has some quarks. He has what I would call anxiety problems, and has certain fears that make him go absolutely crazy. When there is any construction of anysort nearby, such as tree cutting, tile cutting, wood work (which is always happening), the noise scares the heck out him causing him to destroy the house in attempts to break free and get out. I'm not sure what he thinks getting out would accomplish, but he'll do anything possible to make it happen. He's extremely strong, and rips casing (the trim) off from around the doors like it's nothing. He's torn up the carpet before in attempts to dig under a door, thinking he could get out. Like I said, he's a great dog when I'm there, and most of the time when I'm not, but my lifestyle has unfortunately changed to a situation where I don't feel it is fair for him to be alone so much.
I found a perfect home for him... a family with three kids, and their beloved lab just passed away after they had her for 9 years. He's been there for a week, and they called and basically said they can't deal with him anymore. He's not cooperating, busting through screens to get out into the backyard (in attempts to escape), realizing he can't dig out so he busts through another screen to try to get back in. He's acting very panicy, and there is way too much fear that he will accidently injure their 9 month old (if he jumps back through a window and accidently lands on him, or something like that.). He's just been too much stress for them, so it won't work out.
He was a perfectly chilled out dog over here 99% of the time, just laying around and doing his own thing, but over there it's a different story. But since I'll be taking my new job soon, having him here just isn't an option. I do rent a couple rooms at my house, and I can't rely on others to close windows when they leave (cause he'll jump out and get away, and possibly end up getting hit by a car or just in some kind of bad trouble), and I can't sleep at night knowing that I just can't spend the time with him that he deserves and needs.
Anyways, I guess I'm just looking for advice of some sort. The only thing I'll note is that he is not fixed. I was advised by the vet that if he isn't showing agressive behavior, then there was no need to worry about it (I thought of agressive behavior as agressive towards people, but he never was. He's so gentle with people, but I guess agressive when it comes to being panicy and anxiety struck?). I wasn't planning on breeding him, but he wasn't out with female dogs so I wasn't worried about the pet population expanding because of him. I've read both ways, that fixing him could change his unpredictible temprament, and that it won't have any effect at all. He's now about 3.5 years old. I just know he suffers from some sort of anxiety problem when he's alone, and apparently he's acting that way at his new home even when there are people there (I thought that was the perfect home cause there was always someone there).
So I've always been a very good daddy to him, but given the circumstances, I need him to go to a new home. I am absolutely heartbroken and I want to do the right thing, but I'm so afraid that if I take him to a shelter, he'll end up in a bad situation somehow... that he'll get adopted by someone, he'll damage their house or break out, and who knows what will happen from there, or that he might be put to sleep. Had I known that my lifestyle would change like this, I wouldn't have taken on the responsibility in the first place, but I know he's been more than happy here and very well taken care of for the last couple years. He will be so perfect for the right person or family.
Now I'm just lost, not knowing what to do. He's a beautiful dog, I mean beautiful enough to do dog food advertisement , and I want him to be in the best possible situation for himself. Any advise? Anxiety medication? Get him neutered? Please let me know what you think. In case it matters, I'm in Oceanside, California.
Last edited by OceansideGuy; 09-23-2008 at 04:13 PM..
He is extremely handsome! Google "golden rescue" and find the one nearest to you and contact them. He probably would benefit from anti-anxiety meds for a while as he settles in to a new environment but he definitely would benefit from neutering. I think that's a guy thing, to not automatically do it at a young age Meale vet, too?). Good luck.
First....I am so sorry you have to face this situation. I know it is just tearing you apart!
I agree on all counts stated above. Neutering is a must...although I don't honestly believe it will solve all of his problems. He might benefit from some Rescue Remedy....but you are right...he sounds as if he needs someone with him 24/7. A Golden Rescue group would probably be his best bet. Here is one based out of San Diego, which is close to you ( I think): Golden Retriever Club of San Diego County - Home Page
Good luck...I don't envy you the decision you must make.
To respond to Katie1, yes, the family he was with before me had children, and I have a lot of young neighbors that he has spent a lot of time with, so I wasn't worried about that.
To Southern Belle and Shelby Girl, thank you both for your advice, kind words and for understanding of my situation. I honestly didn't know if I should expect to be flamed or supported by posting my situation. I am having a very hard time with all this, and while reading your posts brings me to tears, it helps me know that there is a solution. I think you're right, it probably is a guy thing to not have them fixed at a young age, and yes, the vet was male .
It's just strange to be a 29 year old guy, no kids (other than Rusty - fitting name, isn't it ), and to be so emotional and torn up over a dog, but he truely has become my child. I originally thought I would be able to have him throughout his life, and eventually have a family and have my kids grow up with him, but that just isn't an option anymore. I just want what's best and most fair for him, and again I appreciate your words and advice. I will be looking into the rescue groups, and thanks for the San Diego link. Yes, that is very close by. Thanks again, and any more advice from anyone, please chime in.
It's really hard. I adopted a Gt Dane as a 3 mo old puppy and gave him back to the breeder at 6 mo. Much as I loved him, I had forgotten how much activity puppies his age need and I wasn't able to give it to him. Luckily, he was free as he had a bad eye, so no money was involved. She told me later that he was adopted by a family with a big yard and they sent her a Mother's Day card with a paw print. I felt so relieved! I know this is hard on you but I think everyone here wants to help you find the best solution for this innocent dog. You are trying hard to be responsible at a difficlut time and I am so glad you are doing so!
It's just strange to be a 29 year old guy, no kids (other than Rusty - fitting name, isn't it ), and to be so emotional and torn up over a dog, but he truely has become my child. I originally thought I would be able to have him throughout his life, and eventually have a family and have my kids grow up with him, but that just isn't an option anymore. I just want what's best and most fair for him, and again I appreciate your words and advice. I will be looking into the rescue groups, and thanks for the San Diego link. Yes, that is very close by. Thanks again, and any more advice from anyone, please chime in.
This shows you care very much. Sometimes life deals us all a bad hand, and by finding him the best home/rescue possible you are dealing with things the best way you know how.
You don't have a bad dog at all, he's just used to you and that could take someone working with him all the time for a little while.
Be very, very honest with any rescue group - that will help them assess both his short and long term needs. Please be comforted by the fact that 99.9% of rescues are run by people who truly have the dog's best interests at heart and who go the extra mile to make sure these dogs end up in the best possible home. Be sure he is up to date on all shots - and yes, neutering will most likely be a requirement. It is a feather in your cap if that is already done or he has a date to have it done when you approach the rescue. Be able to provide all current vet records including one stating his heartworm status. If he is neutered and up to date on shots and well socialized and heartworm negative it is just much easier to find an immediate foster home for him. He most likely will go into foster care - they will need to have a volunteer assess him according to their program's protocol before putting him up for adoption, but many fosters know how to deal effectively with separation anxiety.
You can always ask if you could be kept in the loop by the foster home until he settles in - with some rescues it is yes, with some it is no...but know that they will work very, very hard to find a home for your boy where he will fit in and happily live out his life.
...I honestly didn't know if I should expect to be flamed or supported by posting my situation. I am having a very hard time with all this, and while reading your posts brings me to tears, it helps me know that there is a solution. I think you're right, it probably is a guy thing to not have them fixed at a young age, and yes, the vet was male .
It's just strange to be a 29 year old guy, no kids (other than Rusty - fitting name, isn't it ), and to be so emotional and torn up over a dog, but he truely has become my child. I originally thought I would be able to have him throughout his life, and eventually have a family and have my kids grow up with him, but that just isn't an option anymore...
Just my opinion here, but NO ONE deserves to be flamed for asking questions or looking for advice because they are trying to do the right thing. None of us were born omniscient and most of us still have a lot to learn.
As for being emotional and torn apart by having to give up a beloved companion, well, again in my opinion, that says a lot about the kind of person you are. Making the right decision even when it hurts unbearably shows true character.
A rescue group is definitely the way to go. Please be sure to be honest with the rescue group about the anxiety issues so they can ensure your dog goes to a family that will be able to properly care for him and manage the behavioral issues that he's displayed.
He is a beautiful guy and you are doing the right thing. Some very lucky owner will love him as much as you do!
And, sometime in the future - when the time is right, you will be able to welcome a new pet into your home knowing that you did the best thing for your Rusty.
Even though I've never experienced what you're going through, I feel your pain. I agree that our dogs become like children to us (some behave better too). You are being a good owner in thinking about his needs before yours. Wherever he winds up, I'm sure he'll become a wonderful addition for another family. Best of luck to you.
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, and I want him to be in the best possible situation for himself. Any advise? Anxiety medication? Get him neutered? Please let me know what you think. 
In case it matters, I'm in Oceanside, California.
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), and to be so emotional and torn up over a dog, but he truely has become my child. I originally thought I would be able to have him throughout his life, and eventually have a family and have my kids grow up with him, but that just isn't an option anymore. I just want what's best and most fair for him, and again I appreciate your words and advice. I will be looking into the rescue groups, and thanks for the San Diego link. Yes, that is very close by. Thanks again, and any more advice from anyone, please chime in.
