Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
for example, i have a car that's nearly 10 years old and it's fine for me, but sometimes i see people my age or younger with brand new/newer cars and sometimes i think to myself "maybe i should replace it for something new" even though i don't particularly have a strong need or want to get a new car.
i think a lot of people end up paying their car off on finance and paying a car off monthly is not my idea of smart, especially as you don't know what can happen one month to the next.
i also like finding deals in stores and looking to shop for groceries at cheaper places, but you get some people saying "i no, i would never shop there i don't think their quality is good" and then you explain that the quality is just as good as the more expensive stores, but they tend to continue shopping at pricier places.
i try not to care, but sometimes i feel that society deems frugal people as "cheap" and looks down on those people. i think there's a lot of pressure from society for everyone to follow the crowd, get into debt, struggle to pay their bills and fall into that revolving pit of darkness that the banks want for the general population.
In the US, I feel our society has a consumer driven competitive nature in that everyone is trying to either "keep up with the joneses". We are groomed to judge success by the possessions we show... we judge people superficially. So when people don't play "the game" people can't judge properly and usually assume the lack of success.
We are inundated with consumerism each and every day at every corner.
Its not just society deems frugal people as "cheap"... its that they judge them as unsuccessful.
We are a 5 person family in 2 bed room 1 bath "starter" home with under 1000sqft. My twin babies living in what used to be a dining room in folding cribs. I don't have that decked out baby room... we are a functional and frugal family. I've been had people imply that I'm not providing a healthy environment for my family. Other's treat us like the poor people on the street. What they don't realize is that this is by choice and I make more than six digits income.
when you cheapen your own life that is being frugal. but when you negatively effect others around you by cheapening your life that can be cheapness and frowned upon.
as an example a co-worker will not buy an air conditioner for the bedroom because he does not want to pay to run it and makes his wife suffer through the heat and thast is wrong is wrong . she told me she is soooo tired of fighting with him.
others go out to eat with friends and when it comes to splitting the check they pay their share to the penny and cut the tip to less than it should be on their share even though they can well afford it.
there are endless examples of where frugality a good thing turns into cheapness , a bad thing.
for example, i have a car that's nearly 10 years old and it's fine for me, but sometimes i see people my age or younger with brand new/newer cars and sometimes i think to myself "maybe i should replace it for something new" even though i don't particularly have a strong need or want to get a new car.
i think a lot of people end up paying their car off on finance and paying a car off monthly is not my idea of smart, especially as you don't know what can happen one month to the next.
i also like finding deals in stores and looking to shop for groceries at cheaper places, but you get some people saying "i no, i would never shop there i don't think their quality is good" and then you explain that the quality is just as good as the more expensive stores, but they tend to continue shopping at pricier places.
i try not to care, but sometimes i feel that society deems frugal people as "cheap" and looks down on those people. i think there's a lot of pressure from society for everyone to follow the crowd, get into debt, struggle to pay their bills and fall into that revolving pit of darkness that the banks want for the general population.
what are your thoughts?
You should've heard the reactions I got from family and friends when I first told them I intend to go for a while without owning a car. "What about emergencies?" "What about bad weather?" "Aren't you wasting a lot of time walking to work?" "Aren't you worried about walking through unsafe neighborhoods?" Or even "Will your roommates be giving you rides everywhere?" they ask.
Fortunately I live in the DC Metro and do not have to own a car to use one when I need to. In the six years of not owning a car, I have not had any "emergencies" that could not be solved some other way, I have gotten soaking wet exactly once, been unable to get out of the house due to snow or ice less than most people with cars, spend less extra time getting to work than extra work I'd need to take on to pay for a car, have taken on less risk of death or injury from bad areas than I "save" by driving only 1000 miles per year, and have accepted rides for personal errands a grand total of two times in the last 6 years (not counting vacations where i would be without a car anyway) - which is less than many who own a car.
Ultimately, why do you care what other people think?
YOU should be happy about saving money with your 10 year-old car and not begrudge someone with a much nicer car, regardless of whether it is financed, leased, etc.
YOU should be happy about finding a good deal at stores compared to those paying full price or an item that may or may not be a necessity.
Because hopefully, YOU have a financial goal you are trying to obtain.
At the same time, people WILL make snap impressions based upon your dress, your car, etc. And you tend to get better service the more well off you appear to be.
Your can really be fooled by appearance...........right now I can think of four millionaires that if a see them today they will be in camo and jeans.......and old tennis shoes.
Yes, people judge you based on the car you drive, the neighborhood in which you live, the clothes you wear, the watch & shoes you wear, the cell phone you use, the eyeglass frames you wear, the stores in which you shop, your haircut, etc. Some would say it is an evolutionary survival strategy in which we each seek members of our own "tribe", but I'll leave that discussion to people who know more than I do.
As I drive my 10 year old Dodge SUV to the ski slopes every day, I see many new Range Rovers, Audi Q7s & S8s, Porsche turbo 4WD Panameras and Cayennes, I do judge them - they do not appear to share my values. Once I've gotten to know some of them, they are nice people, some of whom have become good friends. Others are real d*** heads. You don't know until you get to know them.
I think the key is to swim in a pond where your spending level is considered normal regardless of your actual income. Being out of sync with your surroundings will always raise eyebrows.
Ultimately, why do you care what other people think?
I tell myself this all the time....
But in the end, we are humans which for the most part are social creatures. It's worth discussing. In discussions, I do make it clear my intentions.... people who know me don't see me as cheap they simply see me as a person who only spends money in key areas of my choosing. They see how I live and dress... but then immediately surprised that I have a rather expensive camera with me almost all the time.
Buy many inexpensive things.
Buy a few expensive things.
Never buy many expensive things.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
