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Has anyone been watching the CNN reports on TV about the problem with bullies in schools? Interesting!
One thing they reported that hit me was the fact that in many school districts it is against the rules to defend yourself if someone assults you in school. According to the twisted logic of modern school administrators if a school yard bully attacks a kid on campus the person being attacked is wrong if they fight back! They will get in as much trouble as the kid who did the inital attack if they fight back and defend themselves. Is this crazy or not?
Yes it is crazy but it's always been that way.....thing is we just fought back and took our lumps on the butt....
Yes it is crazy but it's always been that way.....thing is we just fought back and took our lumps on the butt....
today's bullys travel in packs. you fight one, you fight the entire pack and they don't stop when you're down. In my time, such people were called cowards and others in school put a stop to their behavior (fighting as a group instead of one on one). Today's kids accept it as normal behavior.
My ds was bullied in school, when I complained, they sent my ds to counseling to learn how to deal with the bully. never once was they bully dealt with.
Teachers are afraid of bullies, that's why they don't step in when bullying is going on. In order to teach, a teacher must maintain a power base in the classroom. she knows the power rests with the bully, she isn't going to go against him. Its simple group dynamics.
In my ds case, they were more concerned with his "reaction" than what prompted it. Essentially he was supposed to stand there passively while that SOB plummeted him, waiting for the nearest adult to intervene.What a load of horse manure!
Flash back many decades ago, when common sense reigned, I was picked on by a nasty little girl. I mean, she did everything, hit me, spit at me, tripped me, threw stuff in my lunch, well one day I got sick of it. She punched me, I hit back. That's right, I hit back! But, I did more than that! see, bullies are essentially cowards. she ran away, I chased her, grabbed her flying ponytail. the crack when her head hit the sidewalk was sickening. I don't know what happened, I just continued on home. We never heard anything about it, but she never appeared at that school again. Was she hurt seriously? Perhaps? do I feel remorse--no, she did it to herself. What was I supposed to do, just keep passively taking it?
But if that happened today the stuff would have hit the fan!
Funny, no one seems to be concerned about keeping the bully from bullying. Does a teacher or school official ever go up to the kid and say "stop that"? Its as simple as that, but no, they are afraid of the repercussions. they could be somehow violating the bully's right of free speech, or perhaps he has a disability that makes him a bully, etc. So, they just ignore the whole thing.
Once I intervened, told a bully to stop what he was doing. he was essentially hitting my ds, while ds just sat there, not knowing what to do. he'd been told not to respond back. I told the kid to stop hitting my son. He said "who are you" I replied "You don't want to know, just stop hitting my son" Oh, the reactions! I was told I shouldn't interfere, I shouldn't approach other students, I should have appealed to the nearest shcool official (although there were several teachers standing there looking through the whole situation and ignoring it). what mother is going to passively stand there while her child is being attacked? Not this mom!
One of the many reasons why I hated my prison like, institutional school.
-Schools should have a policy of simply throwing out the riftraft. Repeat offenders (of bullying) are better off picking up trash on the side of the road than being in school (and potentially harming someone).
If it's 15% of a typical school, then so be it. Stop expending so much energy trying to save the bottom 15% in society. They aren't worth it. I think we're obsessed as a society with trying to save the bottom 15-20%. "Reform them". "Make them better". "They'll learn."
"I can solve it". Throw the federal bureaucracy at something, and they think they can solve things that they can't. Let a 15 year old "bully", who thinks he's tough work with real criminals, picking up trash on the side of the road, or sending them to some kind of bootcamp or something.
There's a million things they could be doing with kids who bully. The last place they should be is in a school setting, dragging down the top 75%. Why is it, anyone else you go....you have an almost guaranteed level of safety....at malls, walmart, subway sandwiches, toys r us, post office, airport.
Its funny how the government is so quick to throw you off an airline if you're disruptive. But you can be disruptive in school for....6 months....2 years...12 years? Is something wrong with this picture?
Teachers worrying about the safety of their class would be like an airline pilot worrying about the safety of his passengers in the back cabins. That's not his job. And it's diverting him from his real job.
Insane how you can't really defend yourself against criminals. If the victim retaliates, the vic gets in trouble or gets a record. Schools/teachers won't stop anything. Police won't do anything but take a report after you've been victimized.
How about bullies who have no problem being cowards? If they are larger or have any kind of advantage, they will take full advantage of the situation? You know the old saying, "there's no honor among thieves." That applies to alot of people.
I agree. We taught our kids pretty much the same thing.
1) never start a fight, but if you get into one, you damn well better finish it.
2) always defend those who need to be defended.
3) speak out against wrongdoing.
4) look out for your brothers and sisters.
5) be considerate of everyone.
6) measure your words, once it comes out of your mouth you can't take it back, no matter how much you wish you could.
As a rule, I don't get in the middle of the drama unless I have no choice. I would rather let them learn to resolve things on their own but if they're in trouble for doing the right thing, God help the other guy.
EXCELLENT rules. And I'm going to add a 7.) Never write anything or post anything online that you wouldn't want the whole world to read.
My mother taught me this back in the dark ages of the 70s, of course she didn't say 'post anything online'; I added that one. More problems are caused by things kids post online than anything else these days. I'm a middle school teacher, I know.
As far as the punishment, it IS because there is no way of knowing who started what, who instigated what, etc. so both must be punished. HOWEVER I applaud the parents who tell there kids, so what>> suspension, just defend yourself. That's what I tell my students. (but don't tell my principal that
EXCELLENT rules. And I'm going to add a 7.) Never write anything or post anything online that you wouldn't want the whole world to read.
My mother taught me this back in the dark ages of the 70s, of course she didn't say 'post anything online'; I added that one. More problems are caused by things kids post online than anything else these days. I'm a middle school teacher, I know.
As far as the punishment, it IS because there is no way of knowing who started what, who instigated what, etc. so both must be punished. HOWEVER I applaud the parents who tell there kids, so what>> suspension, just defend yourself. That's what I tell my students. (but don't tell my principal that
Exactly.
In a situation where you're being bullied, a little punishment from the school is a small price to pay for putting an end to it. To just put up with the bullying to avoid punishment from the school is like avoided the heart surgery you need because you might get a cut in the process of getting it.
If the school wants to suspend a kid or give him detentions for fighting back, let them. That's nothing in the grand scheme of life, while a legacy of being bullied can be devastating.
In a situation where you're being bullied, a little punishment from the school is a small price to pay for putting an end to it. To just put up with the bullying to avoid punishment from the school is like avoided the heart surgery you need because you might get a cut in the process of getting it.
If the school wants to suspend a kid or give him detentions for fighting back, let them. That's nothing in the grand scheme of life, while a legacy of being bullied can be devastating.
Then when you go to apply for a job or college and they ask if you've ever been suspended, expelled, or convicted, you have check Yes. That's why I think schools should pay more attention and put a stop to bullying. Why ruin your life over a bully?
Then when you go to apply for a job or college and they ask if you've ever been suspended, expelled, or convicted, you have check Yes. That's why I think schools should pay more attention and put a stop to bullying. Why ruin your life over a bully?
You think your life will be ruined for getting into minor trouble in school? Most everybody I know got into some type of trouble in school, and their lives turned out fine. The reality is that the schools can't really stop bullying. They can cut down on it, but sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands.
Then when you go to apply for a job or college and they ask if you've ever been suspended, expelled, or convicted, you have check Yes. That's why I think schools should pay more attention and put a stop to bullying. Why ruin your life over a bully?
At least you'll have a life!
I cannot fathom why anyone would just stand there and take a beating or encourage their child to do so.
I would rather explain how I stood up to the school bully than spend my life regretting that I didn't and still afraid.
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