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I never went through this type of angst when my kids reached high school. By then, I expected them to solve their own problems, including how to come up with a worthwhile project. Somehow, they managed.
Nobody gives gifts in high school either, unless they are a special teacher, or the PTA has raised the necessary funds to do so. I call BS on getting a wish list. I never heard of class mothers at that age either.
My DD would be excited about a project like that. If all we had time and money to do is a "theme", she would cut a crown out of cardboard, glue foil or paint it with metallic gold paint, throw some mardi gras beads around her neck, and be done with the costume. She would draw out the storyboard on white paper while I looked for alternatives to a $5 display board. A large cardboard box from Wal-Mart would probably work. Sure, the project is a bit on the foofy side, but it would be a very welcome break from the usual essays, powerpoint slideshows, worksheets, and review packets.
If you can't afford the time and expense right now, I'm sure the teacher would respond professionally if you emailed her and asked for no-cost suggestions that your DD could do to fulfill on her own with limited cash (you're still going to have to supply a few sheets of white paper, a few markers, and glue at the very least). If your DD takes art or drama, those teachers may have suggestions for no or very low cost costumes or theme items, too.
Teachers are aware that a lot of people have taken major cuts in pay and are barely making ends meet right now. Our district has had a pay freeze for three years despite having employee healthcare premiums doubled. Your DD's teacher would probably be happy to help your DD come up with solutions.
My son is grown now--but we had lots of dress up assignments--we used a lot of cardboard--glitter garbage bags, and clothes hangers, and other found items--we rarely bought anything. Of course maybe having a girl makes it harder--we could use my husband's old shirts. The one event that we did purchase clothing for was square dancing western day. My son always liked cowboy boots, so they were not a waste, the hat wasn't worn very much but was used for several years. I bought a cowboy shirt the first year--he didn't want to wear it again, so after that I just glued (semi perm glue)decorations. I think teachers want to see an effort made--not see who can spend the most..
I like make-up too--and know that $75.00 really isn't a lot for today's prices--I like to go to the Cosmetic Company outlets and buy my Mac cosmetics they last forever--haven't used foundation in a long time--but tinted moisturizer, (Aveeno from the drugstore)..
As to homework over holidays--I agree it was a pain--but work in the real world doesn't stop over holidays--
I'm a State-Level Appraiser (have also been a State Challenge Master) for Destination Imagination, a program that teaches creative problem-solving (while spending a very limited amount of $$$, as per the rules), and I've seen many, MANY teams who create winning performances with only cardboard boxes, sheets, duct tape, assorted other "trash" items -- and their brains.
Look -- I understand that you created this thread simply to rant and rave (again ) about how awful teachers are but, honestly, when people are giving you legitimate, workable suggestions, you might want to -- for a change -- actually listen to them.
I'm a State-Level Appraiser (have also been a State Challenge Master) for Destination Imagination, a program that teaches creative problem-solving (while spending a very limited amount of $$$, as per the rules), and I've seen many, MANY teams who create winning performances with only cardboard boxes, sheets, duct tape, assorted other "trash" items -- and their brains.
Look -- I understand that you created this thread simply to rant and rave (again ) about how awful teachers are but, honestly, when people are giving you legitimate, workable suggestions, you might want to -- for a change -- actually listen to them.
YOu're missing the whole point of my post. Its not so much the money, although that is an issue. Its the timing. why can't kids be "creative" on school time, not over a holiday? The project was assigned just this week, due after Thanksgiving. My dd even said the teacher said they could use thanksgiving break to work on the project. Since when are holidays teachers time to assign projects?
Also, the money is part of this issue. I did say that we could afford such items, but timing does matter. Oftentimes I've been backed into buying expensive stuff because I didn't have time to haunt thrift stores, etc. I'm simply repeating my post here, but some simply pick the parts they wish and ignore the rest. Don't you teachers know way in advance what projects you will be assigning? Can't you let the students (and parents) in on the big deal? Could you perhaps come up with a syllabus, like they do in college, so students can plan accordingly? Your little projects aren't the only thing the students have to juggle.
And to the poster who said at high school the students are supposed to come up with something on their own, without the parents intervention, well, how do you expect them to come up with costumes, etc, without the parents help? Its not like she can drive to the store and whip out her Visa card. if she's supposed to raid my closet, or a neighbors, well, shouldn't i at least be let in on the deal? its my stuff!
Look like it or not, parents are part of those projects. someone has to be the "runner" provide transportation, money, etc to acquire the materials, etc.
Besides, even the relatively small amount of money spent does add up, especially for a family with more than one child. Try to do a bit of "creative problem solving" on your own, think about your "target audience". Don't just imagine all parents live on Planet Perfect and have all the time, money, and other resources to fill in your gaps.
According to the most recent census, 1/5 of all children in America are living in poverty. No, we don't fit that category, but what about those who do? Guess those are the kids who's parents just "don't care' about their child's education. I wish you teachers would get real, look about you! Poverty is endemic in this country, yet you continue to pile the foo foo on!
My mother grew up during the Great Depression. she was lucky to have a father who was employed, and was able to buy all the stuff she needed for school. However, she knew several who simply dropped out, because they couldn't afford the basics, like paper, etc. My father clawed his way through school, barely able to afford paper. what if they expected them to come dressed up like some historical figure? My father didn't even have a coat for school!
I went to school in MI. they came up with a law around 1970's, that "free" public education meant just that, FREE. Teachers weren't allowed to require anything the school didn't pay for, including paper, etc. they had to supply us with paper, pencils, pens, typing paper, along with books, etc. Ok, what they provided was a joke, maybe 10 sheets of paper, 2 pencils/semester. But, somehow, they managed to educate us without requiring all sorts of foo foo, posters, costumes, yadda, yadda. If they had to pay for it, they got "creative" and figured out some other way. BTW, I felt all my hs teachers were excellent, could teach without buying it "canned" at taxpayers expense.
Last edited by toobusytoday; 11-19-2011 at 06:57 AM..
Reason: removed rude off topic comment
9th. grade?? I missed that--that is a little old for dress up--We did have some multi-cultural lunches assigned in high school and some students dressed in ethnic garb--but it was not a requirement--
Fund raising is a fact of life-- no one really likes it-- but activities are not free..
This post is great! This had happened so many times,the parents having to dish out money. Finally some parents got sick of it and said something. This time is was a trip and the teacher canceled it due to parents lack of finances. It seemed like the parents were dishing out money constantly and the teacher in her arrogance could careless.
My mother grew up during the Great Depression. she was lucky to have a father who was employed, and was able to buy all the stuff she needed for school. However, she knew several who simply dropped out, because they couldn't afford the basics, like paper, etc. My father clawed his way through school, barely able to afford paper. what if they expected them to come dressed up like some historical figure? My father didn't even have a coat for school!
My mother grew up during the Great Depression (no father) and she'd knock me on my butt if I paid $75 for cosmetics then complained about my financial situation. (Who am I kidding? She'd knock me on my butt if I paid $75 for cosmetics period. Not in this economy.)
But then she'd have done exactly what her mother did during the Great Depression: Have me put my thinking cap on to decide how I might make a costume with what we had around the house. Then she'd be riding my tail to make sure it was done this coming weekend. Well before Thanksgiving. (Then she'd probably get excited about it and sew left-over rick rack all over the hem.)
Which is all a rather large hint, Marylee, that while I understand you are venting here, you and your daughter CAN do this for little or no money.
And I NEVER heard of a teacher asking for things for themselves. Never ever.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 11-18-2011 at 05:54 PM..
My mother grew up during the Great Depression (no father) and she'd knock me on my butt if I paid $75 for cosmetics then complained about my financial situation.
But then she'd have done exactly what her mother did during the Great Depression: Have me put my thinking cap on to decide how I might make a costume with what we had around the house. Then she'd be riding my tail to make sure it was done this coming weekend. Well before Thanksgiving. (Then she'd probably get excited about it and sew left-over rick rack all over the hem.)
I'm NOT complaining about MY financial situation.
I'm "complaining" about the project, thrown at students with no regard for their financial situation, and little regard for their time.
You seem to be focused on my Estee de Lauder purchase. I'm not apologizing for it. Like I said, I wanted it, so I bought it. BTW, my mother lived through the GD, then went on to buy Estee de Lauder, too, along with Lancome, Clinique, guess it runs in the family.
My point by even mentioning it (the Estee de lauder), was that just recently, I made a purchase for myself. Outside of medical bills, that's the only expenditure I've made for myself in 2 years. Then, I come home and am faced with another foo foo project. Well.........like my mother used to say, get for yourself first, or you won't get anything! I can't always come last!
BTW, since you're so concerned about my makeup purchases, let me set you straight---
actually that $75 was a typo. The real cost was $57.50 for the makup, if a fragarance purchase was made. I bought a gift set for $42. 0, which entitled me to the makeup kit, so, I spent 57.5 + 42.5 = $100! But hey, I had a code for free shipping!
And you're right, its MY hard-earned money, if I want to spend it on something nice for myself, I will do so!
But, I happen to have such money for indulgences at times. What about all those kids who simply don't have it? Poverty doesn't exist just in the "ghetto". The nicer areas have their problems, too. Sometimes its a choice between buying food and buying school foo foo for many families. Thank God we have never been in that situation, but I've seen it many times. We had a friend who's boys used to hang around after school. I thought they ate like they were starved. I don't mean hungry, I mean starved. Well, I was glad to give them snacks, etc. Then, they hung around with my kids doing projects. I then realized they were 'bumming" our supplies, etc. Ok, well....that's ok. then one day I went to their place, an almost bare little apt, with practically nothing. this was a recently divorded mother trying to hold it together. That's the type of families that get stuck with those stupid projects. Just use what you have around the house---geez, many of them don't even have a house
Sorry to disappoint you but I wasn't even thinking of going off at you about the cost of school projects. How the heck did you decide I was?
I'd still like to hear about the "butt-kissing present" for the teacher. That would be interesting to learn about.
Ok, the butt-kissing present:
My kids are currently in 8th and 9th grade, and the whole present-for-the-teacher thing is dropping out. But when they were in elementary, it was almost mandatory. Of course, the kids had one main teacher that had them most of the day.
The room mothers would send home gift suggestions around holidays, such as the teacher's facvoriite restaurant, store, perfume, etc. we were either supposed to buy such gifts, or chip in for a gift basket, etc. We lived in an affluent area, and most people bought $50 gifts or more. if I didn't buy such gifts, I was looked down on by the other mothers, and they could make it nasty! Actually, the teacher didn't have any role in that drama, besides being the recipient. But, it certainly didn't hurt to buy expensive gifts!
Well, back then, we could afford such gifts, we were bringing in the $$$. but, the economy hit us hard, like many people have been hit. I have no intention of going into my complete financial details, needless to say, we had to make some cuts. Now that $50 gift for the teacher is burdensome.
Of course, they don't send home such requests in high school, they don't have room mothers, etc. We still feel slightly pressured to provide gifts, but simply don't. Once you start that, its expected. My ds is in special ed, and I know I'm supposed to gush about how marvelous his teachers are, and buy them all sorts of gifts, send notes, cards, yadda, yadda---but hey, I don't. Special Ed teachers get paid more than regular teachers, anyways!
Getting back to my main rant---- I wish teachers would realize that many students' families are barely scrapping by, and many can't even do that. Don't just make assumptions everything is somehow affordable. We parents also get sick of hearing teachers whine about how little they make, when many parents make less than the teachers do!
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Dress up costs
) about how awful teachers are but, honestly, when people are giving you legitimate, workable suggestions, you might want to -- for a change -- actually listen to them.
