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The bolded line is where it goes racist. None attractive, only a couple you can even respect. George Wallace in his worst years did better than that.
Bingo! People know eactly what they mean when they say things like that, but then try to cover their tail. No one cares that some random person isn't attracted to someone else. It's really nice to go out one's way to make an official announcement though. Thing is, I know people say all kinds of things and do something completely different when no one's looking.
In my entire life, I have never seen a black woman who I have even remotely considered attractive.
And no, before I get the inevitable "you're a racist!!!" posts, I don't hate black people. I have a great deal of respect for a couple of black people that I work with. I just don't find black women attractive at all.
It's fine that you are not attracted to black women. It isn't racist to not be attracted to every black woman that you see. However I do question whether or not you've seen EVERY black woman in the world to make that sort of conclusion that overall no black woman is attractive to you. To exclude an entire group of women, even if the individuals within that group all look different, is puzzling to me, but that is you're preogative. I don't consider myself racist, and I'm not attracted to the majority of white men. I have, however, seen white men that I found attractive, even if I don't find a lot of white men attractive. I can say that about every race actually. My preference is a specific look and actually a specific race fits that look more than others, BUT I have seen men outside of this group, and outside of this specific look that caught my eye and that I found attractive. I would question myself if I could virtually not see beauty at all in at least ONE individual within a large group of people. I'm not saying you're racist for not seeing the beauty in at least one black woman that you've come across(whether it be the media or IRL) in your entire life, BUT if this is what you are saying and you don't have any negative feelings about black people overall that might factor into your lack of attraction, then it is what it is.
I imagine that there are some people that will never be attracted to another group because that group has physical traits that don't meet that person's preferred physical preferences. That's fine. I believe that most people see attraction as universal and can look at other groups of women/men that look completely opposite of their own and still find certain individuals in that group attractive. Other people find more people outside of their "designated" group attractive than within. I don't think that attraction is necessarily "learned"(in that you can make yourself find someone attractive).
On another note, and going back to the OP:
I do think that there are certain images continuously projected within our current society, and these images are always called "beautiful", so over a period of time, being bombarded with this certain image can cause you to normalize and even rationalize why that image is more attractive than other ones. Or why that "image" is the ideal(because for all intent and purposes that is how that image is projected within society--as the ideal image of beauty). Those that are completely opposite of that image, will obviously be looked at differently, sometimes good, other times not. I consider white women as the "image" of beauty, or the symbol of "beauty" in the USA especially. White women have been considered the "ideal" image of beauty for quite a while. And whether people agree with it or not, the message is loud in clear, in almost every form of media that they are very desirable. Black women look opposite of white women, in many ways--from hair, to skin tone, to physical features, etc. It makes sense that since black women look the furthest from white women, that black women would be the furthest from "beauty" in terms of how our society sees it.
There are more negative attributes associated with black women, than other races of women, which certainly doesn't help. But, people who understand that this "ideal" image doesn't undermine (and shouldn't) their attractiveness even if the ideal image is far from what they look like, are the people that tend not to care if others don't find them as attractive as they do other groups of people. I know that white women are sought out as the "end-all" for a lot of men, but I suppose I don't care because it has not limited me at all when it comes to attracting those that I want to, which is really all I'm concerned with. Honestly I think the only people that really care about how others perceive them attractively are those that are not able to attract the ones that they want to attract. If the OP and men like him were able to attract that "certain" type of white women that they want to attract, this thread wouldn't have even been started. The OP doesn't care whether others(outside of who they want) find them attractive, the real intent is to understand when HE and men that look like him will be considered attractive to the white women that he's always wanted to date. And that makes it difficult for him, because there is a chance that there are white women that meet his preferences that don't feel like he meets their own, or that might be attracted to brown men, but just not attracted to him. Which is why I almost feel like this isn't an issue of "race" but more along the lines of standards and preferences. The OP has a standard look that he prefers, a standard woman that he wants to date, but as of yet he has had issues attaining this type. If he cannot attract this type, it may have less to do with his race, and more to do with the fact that he has set standards that he cannot attain. It's time to re-adjust. Keeping it real. If I liked a certain group of men, but most within this group NEVER wanted me, I would have to examine my standards and ask myself if I've set the "aim" higher than what I can get.
I hate saying that, because I think the whole idea of leagues and not going after what you really want is really limiting BUT going with that premise(since it's widely practiced) the OP probably needs to reassess the type of women that he is going after.
Last edited by Faith2187; 02-12-2014 at 09:19 PM..
I do agree with the whole premise of there being some Black American women who just don't like any guys from minority groups preferring White girls. Some of my Latino and Asian friends have had arguments with such women who openly said some of the most downright racist stuff about White girls and usually stated something along the lines of how most White women hate foreigners and anyone that looks ethnic to discourage my friends. But these Black women are far from the majority and lets face it, when an Asian or Latino guy dates a White girl that is attractive, it pisses almost everyone off, even more so than when a Black guy does it.
Now I personally prefer White girls and I do find it odd how latina, black, and asian women can find white guys attractive but White American girls think even a guy that is asian and looks like godfrey gao, latino and looks too ethnic like adam rodriguez, or indian and looks like a bollywood actor is ugly. Maybe decades from now White women will become more open minded but the very fact that most White women hate me because of my skin tone alone has made me pursue them more and sometimes I have gotten lucky.
What I have found is that White women in areas like Northern California are actually more racist towards Asians and Indians, even ones who are attractive and confident, because they have grown up their whole life thinking everyone from those races is a certain way. On the other hand White women in other areas where men from both races are more rare tend to be more open minded to men of those races. So if Harold and Kumar approached girls in say a part of Florida where people of their background are rare, they would have a lot more success than in San Francisco where most White women think anyone who is Asian or Indian is ugly and subhuman.
So when a person who lives in Northern Cal tells me she has heard White women say the most racist things about asian or indian men I believe her and I am not surprised. But I guess there is something to be had when you manage to change a person's mind and convince that person that not all people of your skin color and heritage are dirty foreigners with weird accents that hate women.
And I don't care about the noise and the world, especially angry women on this thread telling me and other men that they can't get the kind of hot girls they want. What I have found is that a lot of people, man or woman, and of any race out there will desperately try to stop you from being happy in life and being in a relationship with the kind of people you are attracted to and like. Once you realize that and start to shut off the noise and focus on being the kind of person who can attract what he wants then you can ignore some of the noise successfully. The angry women on this thread telling me repeatedly that hot girls hate my kind are not going to stop me from pursuing the kind of girls I want, neither will the sexually frustrated men that just want to see others fail.
Now it has somewhat bothered me that if you have guys who are attractive of different ethnic groups, no matter where you go in America, the White male who is attractive will always be treated better, with more respect, and with more attention than attractive men of any race. I find it unfair and what is scary is that it happens more with the younger crowd. A Channing Tatum lookalike can act like a douche and have girls call him hot while a Godfrey Gao or Arjun Rampal lookalike will never be treated half as well by society.
I am not just talking about what hot white girls think, I am talking about how American society treats attractive White males exponentially better than males of other races.
One of my friends joked saying how it is funny that we can have a Black president but the thought of a Black Superman on the big screen will drive America into a deep rage.
He had a point because I have noticed that White men have a monopoly on the looks market. Hollywood exclusively gives most of the desirable lead roles such as superhero, superspy, and most roles that we idealize to White males. Some rare exceptions exist (especially with black males) but the most desirable roles are White male dominated. Then you have fashion models who are almost always White males.
From my own observation, I see this play out in real life interactions. I went to a big high school that was very diverse, it had Latinos, Asians, Black people, and White people. Most of the times when it came to voting most attractive male, the winners were always White guys in my 4 years there. To be fair I did go to high school in North Carolina which is a southern state so the White bias is to be expected.
But I have seen differences in how society judges men by their looks. I have known White guys who are attractive that mostly know they are attractive because growing up throughout their lives they had society, women, and everyone telling them they are handsome. They were asked to model most of the times.
On the other hand my friends who are from other races and fairly attractive didn't have those same opportunities, especially being asked to model. The validation they received from society was much less.
Do you believe as time goes on race will start to matter less and American society will treat attractive people from all races how they would normally treat an attractive White person?
America has a very simple society. Almost all is based on $$$
When whites are no longer the ones accounting for the most sales in film, fashion, then it will change. Notice how there is no complaining over white music artists receiving benefits. Because the music market is wide open.
Another issue is Black culture in America is shockingly stereotypical. For many reasons, blacks suffer from the inability to go outside their bubble. Thus there is little effort involved in marketing to the Black buyer.
And I don't care about the noise and the world, especially angry women on this thread telling me and other men that they can't get the kind of hot girls they want. What I have found is that a lot of people, man or woman, and of any race out there will desperately try to stop you from being happy in life and being in a relationship with the kind of people you are attracted to and like. Once you realize that and start to shut off the noise and focus on being the kind of person who can attract what he wants then you can ignore some of the noise successfully. The angry women on this thread telling me repeatedly that hot girls hate my kind are not going to stop me from pursuing the kind of girls I want, neither will the sexually frustrated men that just want to see others fail.
Now it has somewhat bothered me that if you have guys who are attractive of different ethnic groups, no matter where you go in America, the White male who is attractive will always be treated better, with more respect, and with more attention than attractive men of any race. I find it unfair and what is scary is that it happens more with the younger crowd. A Channing Tatum lookalike can act like a douche and have girls call him hot while a Godfrey Gao or Arjun Rampal lookalike will never be treated half as well by society.
I am not just talking about what hot white girls think, I am talking about how American society treats attractive White males exponentially better than males of other races.
You're funny. So what is it. Are you a frustrated brown person or are you a white guy like you've claimed in prior posts, huh? You Had stated in one f your older posts that you are NOT a minority and that you are white. yet your posts contradict this And now the world can see that this is just a waahh topic from a minority dude. If the girls aren't exactly falling into your lap, up your game, instead of hurling insults at white guys and black people.
at some point, if we as a species survive long enough, there will probably only be one or two racial groups; one Asian dominated and an other more 'mixed' racial group (a yellow and tan/caramel/mocha).
of course there is only one human race, as evidenced by the usually quite beautiful/attractive children of blended couples.
as far as attractiveness in American society, i believe we already see traits from different racial groups as universally attractive; particularly with females. i noticed the OP focussed on men, but it most likely holds true across both sexes. Beyonce is pretty much the standard of feminie beauty, and not too long ago Will Smith represented the same or close to it for men. theres J-Lo, Rhianna, etc and not to mention that many American pro athletes are men of color and are considered attractive.
things have definitely changed when it comes to what is considered attractive...
In my entire life, I have never seen a black woman who I have even remotely considered attractive.
And no, before I get the inevitable "you're a racist!!!" posts, I don't hate black people. I have a great deal of respect for a couple of black people that I work with. I just don't find black women attractive at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187
It's fine that you are not attracted to black women. It isn't racist to not be attracted to every black woman that you see. However I do question whether or not you've seen EVERY black woman in the world to make that sort of conclusion that overall no black woman is attractive to you. To exclude an entire group of women, even if the individuals within that group all look different, is puzzling to me, but that is you're preogative.
I don't consider myself racist, and I'm not attracted to the majority of white men. I have, however, seen white men that I found attractive, even if I don't find a lot of white men attractive. I can say that about every race actually. My preference is a specific look and actually a specific race fits that look more than others, BUT I have seen men outside of this group, and outside of this specific look that caught my eye and that I found attractive.
I would question myself if I could virtually not see beauty at all in at least ONE individual within a large group of people. I'm not saying you're racist for not seeing the beauty in at least one black woman that you've come across(whether it be the media or IRL) in your entire life, BUT if this is what you are saying and you don't have any negative feelings about black people overall that might factor into your lack of attraction, then it is what it is.
Thank you twice over. I have faith in Faith.
Not directing this at statisticsnerd, just the topic that his quote raises, I never understood people taking offense to being called racist for their preference when the only trait common to everyone in the group they don't find attractive is race.
If you say you haven't met a black woman you find attractive yet and don't consider the odds that attractive ones are out there to be akin to hell freezing over, I wouldn't deem your preference racist at all. You're just not into what you've seen so far, which could be for any number of not racist reasons like limited exposure.
As Faith touched on, that limited exposure - like having not seen every single black woman on the planet or, I'd gather, even 1% - would prompt someone who isn't racist to make no blanket statements about the attractiveness of black women, especially considering how vastly we can and do differ from one another in appearance.
But the people who make it a point to emphasize how overarching this black women aren't attractive phenomenon is by proclaiming that in their entiiiiire life they've never seen a black women they'd even remoooootely consider attractive don't seem to be in that camp. They're closer to the camp compelled to prove that their preference can't be racist if it's based on fact, said fact being that no attractive black women exist lol
Whenever you ask people who state that they don't find a group attractive what it is that they don't find attractive about that group, they can never pinpoint a trait that actually applies to everyone in that group, because there isn't one other than race, and they can never find a trait that isn't present in other groups they didn't include.
I've seen some try to cover their bum with the I'm just not attracted to brown skin defense, but they couldn't explain why they didn't say brown skin instead of black women or why the plethora of women from other backgrounds with brown skin aren't on their unattractive list. Half the planet is darker than me, but by all means, let's pretend it's the skin tone lol
Pretty much all of the traits most readily associated with us are traits you'll regularly find in other groups, but they're apparently more acceptable when in those other groups. You'd think Lopez was the first woman in the world to have a big butt, that Bo Derek was the first woman ever to wear braids, and that big lips didn't exist before Jolie, but I digress.
The way I see it, we can sit there and spend an hour refuting every half-a$$ed excuse someone comes up with for why they're singling out [insert group] as unattractive until they finally say, "Fine, I just don't find [insert group] attractive because they're [insert group], okay?!" Or they can just say that to begin with and save everybody some time. Better a racist prick who gets to the point than a politically correct coward who beats around the bush.
I don't get offended by it, though. Societies have, for a very long time, put certain features and backgrounds on a pedestal. Those who tend to fall away from that model will be considered less attractive. The world is what it is. I just prefer that people dig down deep and learn to be honest enough with themselves about what their preferences truly stem from to have the strength to be honest with others. You can lie to yourself all you bloody well like, but lie to me and I'll call bullpucks! lol
Last edited by cyberphonics; 02-13-2014 at 08:53 AM..
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People know eactly what they mean when they say things like that, but then try to cover their tail. No one cares that some random person isn't attracted to someone else. It's really nice to go out one's way to make an official announcement though. Thing is, I know people say all kinds of things and do something completely different when no one's looking.
