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I never wear a dress on first date. Or a second date for the matter. I would never wear a dress. It would depend on what you’re doing. If it was an adventure outdoors, dress accordingly. I never thought of jeans as frumpy, unless the waist is at the belly button level. I think a certain level of comfort would be fine.
This...
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Originally Posted by roodd279
alright - I am WAY outta my league here - and I'm a man invading what (so far) has been, well, mainly women...I assume...but can I throw out an idea for the OP? I know you were looking for "outfit" advice (can't help you) and not "first date" advice (which I assume you don't need) - but I'll throw this out, maybe it will help with both:
A woman showing up on a date with a man ALREADY indicates a degree of interest. Not a "ONS" (yet) type of interest - but even if it's a "real life" introduction, or the result of online flirtation - the "interest" probably happened already. It's behind you.
Guys are simple creatures. Stupid. Dim. We're easy to fool. And mother nature being what she is, there is very little you could choose to wear that will tell a man the EXACT "middle ground" message you intend to convey. No man thinks like ANY woman.
All that said: Wear something you love. Be comfortable. Be yourself. And then when you get there - don't give your outfit another thought. If he's a jerk, whatever you wore won't matter. If he's your Prince Charming ... then whatever you wore won't matter.
(or put another way - when I think back to "first dates" I've had - I do not remember what the woman wore. I only remember She Was Awesome or She Was Miserable.)
I like to wear a dress on date nights, especially when we’re going to a nice restaurant for dinner, as most of my date nights are. It’s just comfortable and feminine. It flatters a woman’s figure. A dress can be sexy and classy at the same time. Most of my dresses are that way, so are shoes (moderate and comfortable heels). Thinking of Kate Middleton’ styles. I’ve invested in a few pairs of extremely comfortable middle heel dress shoes, and they paid off well. I usually don’t wear dresses often to work since I’ve always worked in a male-dominant field, and I’ve tried to avoid romantic attention at work. I’ve only worn suits to important meetings/events at work, but blouses/pants are my usual work clothes. Dresses are for going out with my man.
I like to wear a dress on date nights, especially when we’re going to a nice restaurant for dinner, as most of my date nights are. It’s just comfortable and feminine. It flatters a woman’s figure. A dress can be sexy and classy at the same time. Most of my dresses are that way, so are shoes (moderate and comfortable heels). Thinking of Kate Middleton’ styles. I’ve invested in a few pairs of extremely comfortable middle heel dress shoes, and they paid off well. I usually don’t wear dresses often to work since I’ve always worked in a male-dominant field, and I’ve tried to avoid romantic attention at work. I’ve only worn suits to important meetings/events at work, but blouses/pants are my usual work clothes. Dresses are for going out with my man.
"Date nights" sound like you're married or with a well-established partner. Going on those first few dates with a new prospect may point to slightly different style of clothes.
alright - I am WAY outta my league here - and I'm a man invading what (so far) has been, well, mainly women...I assume...but can I throw out an idea for the OP? I know you were looking for "outfit" advice (can't help you) and not "first date" advice (which I assume you don't need) - but I'll throw this out, maybe it will help with both:
A woman showing up on a date with a man ALREADY indicates a degree of interest. Not a "ONS" (yet) type of interest - but even if it's a "real life" introduction, or the result of online flirtation - the "interest" probably happened already. It's behind you.
Guys are simple creatures. Stupid. Dim. We're easy to fool. And mother nature being what she is, there is very little you could choose to wear that will tell a man the EXACT "middle ground" message you intend to convey. No man thinks like ANY woman.
All that said: Wear something you love. Be comfortable. Be yourself. And then when you get there - don't give your outfit another thought. If he's a jerk, whatever you wore won't matter. If he's your Prince Charming ... then whatever you wore won't matter.
(or put another way - when I think back to "first dates" I've had - I do not remember what the woman wore. I only remember She Was Awesome or She Was Miserable.)
I just really love this post .
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Originally Posted by moongirl00
I wore junior sizes as long as I could because they tend to be cuter imo, more stylish, but I can't fit into them anymore. Impressive that you still can, and a woman's size 8 too! I'm just not a very petite woman I guess.
Now, at the start of this thread you said you have a good figure & that you were a size 12. Just because someone else is a size 8 does not mean that you "aren't" something. I'm 5'11" so i will never be petite. I don't neccessarily believe that petite is synonymous with having a good figure.
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I agree, I think getting back to wearing dresses and skirts more would be a nice change instead of everyone in trousers and jeans. I'm trying to get used to it but its weird, because, few ladies really wear dresses that its hard not to feel awkwardly overdressed.
Agree on the dresses. I think women should wear them more, not less. At my height I have a hard time with mid-length; they are not shaped for someone like me. The hem ends up in an unflattering & awkward place. I can't follow the trends, I have to stick with what works on me. Has to be maxi or a "longer" mini, because longer mini's are mini on me.
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I kind of thought that looking as attractive as possible on a date was important, but maybe that doesn't have to mean "sexy"? I will try to focus on the modest, ladylike look then.
Whatever you are most comfortable in. Sexy isn't the opposite of ladylike, it's the opposite of matronley.
Or at the least not wear them on a date? Wearing them to do chores around the house or run errands might be fine?
Maybe jeans are ok if they look sexy. It depends on the right cut, thought, right?
Most jeans on the market are targeted towards juniors though. In our 30s and beyond they become "Mom" jeans.
I struggle to find jeans that fit but also look sexy. My size is about a size 12.
The struggle is finding something that is comfortable but isn't all baggy around the booty and waist and thighs, or something that might be less a mom jean, but doesn't squeeze me and give me a muffin top while being a nice fit around the legs.
Nobody else relates to the struggle?
I will just try to find some nice long skirts with long side slits and kitten heels. Maybe I'll be scandalous and get some push up bras and just go all out with the cleavage area, if things get dire.
Mom jeans are crazy back in style right now and look great with stilettos!
That said, on a first date in the winter somewhere kind of cold, I'd wear a black turtleneck, a patterened or colored blazer, Gucci belt, skinny jeans, thigh high boots.
Since I live in Florida, dresses are an everyday thing here because of the heat. Because of that, I have discovered that I much prefer to see a lady wearing a nice dress instead of jeans. No matter where you go here, you see dresses at the grocery store, restaurants, just about everywhere. Shorts are a close second.
That would depend on why you're dating, what your goal is. The OP said she'd done with dating just for fun, or just for a short-term fling or romp or whatever. She's looking for LTR material, so she wants to lead more with her personality and character, than with her....figure. And anyway, it's hard to completely disguise that stuff anyway. Guys can size a woman up pretty much no matter what she's wearing, as the nice man with the popular recent post pointed out.
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