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Hello everyone! This is my very first post on city-data. I've been scouring this website for months in my endless quest to find a perfect town for my other half and I to live. We are a married gay couple currently living in Toronto. However, my husband, an American, if very keen to move back to the U.S.
We're in the process of getting a visa for me (going surprisingly smoothly), but we have no idea where we should live!
Here's the deal - we are both from pretty conservative backgrounds, and had a hard time growing up gay. My husband Lee is from rural Alabama, was kicked out by his parents at aged 16 when they discovered his was gay, and essentially ostracised from the entire community. My upbringing was less harsh, fortunately. I grew up in a city called Perth in Australia - it's no Alabama, but is certainly quite conservative. Therefore, we would love to live in a place where we will not be outcasts due to our sexuality, where we can feel safe, and where we can meet other like-minded people.
We are in our early 30's, and want to begin the process of having kids ASAP. We would like a town/city that meets the following requirements:
-Safe, family-friendly.
-Liberal and gay friendly.
-Weather must not be too hot. The blistering cold we can handle, but stifling heat, we cannot.
-Snowy winters is a plus, but not necessary.
-Good schools! High-performing, well-rounded, not oversized.
-Somewhere community-oriented.
-Preferably somewhere with fewer religious people. We are both atheists and, as gay men, have no interest in living in a community full of devout Christians.
-Somewhere with a good economy - or as good as you can get at the moment.
We aren't too fussed about size - anything 25,000 people and above is ideal. We earn about $175,000 annually, which I feel gives us a little room to breath.
Sorry for this long post, we're just getting a little stressed as my husbands contract with work is almost finished! Thanks so much everyone
And I should add, we have no preference over regions in the country! Perhaps our requirements narrow that down anyway, but we're pretty open to anywhere that meets those needs!
Is your income independent of location? Another consideration is the legal status of gay relationships and gay parenthood which varies state by state. Without any further criteria, there's literally 1000s of places that might qualify. You should probably look into which states have legalized same-sex marriage as well the more complicated laws involving same-sex adoptions.
As a first cut, you should probably eliminate all states where same-sex marriage is currently not legally recognized, although the legal status is currently in flux and may change very rapidly.
Minneapolis? Seattle? Pretty much any big city in the north that offers opportunities in your line of work?
I'm of the belief that there are good schools in every metro so you may narrow down your neighborhood/suburb based on that criteria, but I wouldn't imagine trying to narrow down the list of metro areas based on schools. I'm also of the mindset that a school just needs to be adequate and the parents/home environment will take care of the rest. Being at a great school with a mediocre home environment is worse to me than being at a mediocre school with a great home environment.
I agree with two important issues that have been mentioned, the first is to stick to those states where same sex marriage is already recognized because chances are you will feel the people in those places will be more accepting and welcoming. Second, I don't know what your profession is but consider whether or not your earnings in your present area will be the same in any new location before you make a move. Check out what the COL is in places you are considering. There are charts you can find on the Internet that compare these things, to see if financially you would be gaining, losing or staying the same in a new place.
Good suggestion! I have been to Michigan a few times, and always love it. Quite close to Canada, which is a plus.
Do you have any idea about towns outside of Detroit, such as Ferndale, Royal Oak, Bloomfield Hills, Farmington Hills ect?
I would definitely lean more toward Ferndale or Royal Oak...though as an afterthought to Ann Arbor which I think is going to be your best fit.
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