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I don't really know what the poster above (scratchie) is talking about. It's true that a few of Boston's more rural suburbs aren't very diverse, but in general Eastern Mass is MUCH more cosmopolitan than North Carolina. I think you'd feel comfortable in Boston.
I am a 25 year old British male of Libyan heritage currently residing in California and have been fortunate enough to live in a place where people accept all kinds of couples. Now I am in my mid 20s and work in finance and my fiance is a nurse. Since Libyans come in all colors from some looking very White to others looking as dark as Pakistanis, I wanted to specify. I am very dark for someone of my heritage and can be considered a visible minority due to my complexion. Spent most of my childhood and adolescence in England and came to America where I met a woman who is now my fiance.
My fiance is the exact opposite of me, she is of Swedish and German descent and is a tall blonde with blue eyes who was born and raised in California. Even here in California (more specifically San Diego), this is not something you see daily but people let us be. I don't think this commonly happens anywhere in the world let alone America.
The cost of living here in California is insane and has managed to get worse over the years. We have thought about moving elsewhere for a long time and have often visited prospective areas.
I am not that familiar with American culture let alone which areas are more tolerant and accepting. So far we visited 3 places and all 3 felt different.
We visited Oklahoma (more specifically Oklahoma City). When we were at a mall holding hands one man looked at my fiance and shouted "you shouldn't be with him!". We ignored him, he kept on venting for a few more minutes, and then stopped. Also had a lot of stares in our direction. Went to a restaurant there and the waiter came to our table, looked at us and said "what the" in an awkward way and then took our orders. He didn't seem too happy having us around.
We visited Atlanta which was not as hostile but not the same as California. In the city no one said anything until we headed out to the suburbs, there things got somewhat bad. Lots of stares and my fiance said that when I was leaving the restaurant and she stayed behind to check something one of the workers looked at her and said "he must have that oil money!" as he laughed. Outside of that an African American male I met there told me that the suburbs of Atlanta aren't the best place for the kind of couples we are. Not nearly as bad as Oklahoma City but still not near the level of California either.
We then visited Raleigh, NC which initially seemed great until we went to go eat at a restaurant there. One of the waitresses said "we don't commonly get many of your kind of couples around here" and then kept on questioning us about our relationship. She then said to my fiance right in front of me "he doesn't make you wear a hijab either, that is nice!". Then when we were visiting a museum there one middle aged woman looked at my fiance with a frown and shook her head.
In my years in California I have NEVER encountered anything like this. The visit to the 3 cities was very eye opening. Are there any places outside of California and NYC where people just don't care that much about who dates who?
Realistically speaking interracial relationships are fine in all major cities. It's the small towns you might have to worry about.
My wife & I actually had more looks/comments in California (Oakland) than here in Ohio, but we're the opposite as a white male/black female couple. I'd say places with a large white majority, conservative, with a smaller immigrant (not just black/white American) populations should be avoided (like OKC). Try more liberal cities or even college towns where not only interracial couples are more accepted, but non-white immigrants like yourself are very visible. Minneapolis/St.Paul and Columbus OH are both "white" cities, but have large Somalian populations, as well as other immigrant populations, and tend to be socially liberal in general. Same with towns like Ann Arbor MI and Madison WI, which are as liberal as the SF Bay Area with an international presence due to their large univerisites. You don't have to be on a coast to live happily as an IR couple in America.
Thank you everyone for answering my question and taking the time to share your experiences.
In Atlanta and Raleigh I did see interracial couples but it was mainly White men with Asian women and occasionally Black men with White women. Here in California I see Latino and Asian men date White women regularly, no one makes a big deal about it because a Latino with a White female is so common here. A lot of those Latinos share some traits that I have (skin color, hair color, and eye color).
Maybe that is why we were met with unwelcome attitudes there or we just happened to run into a lot of the wrong people. I am sure most people in those states do not hold those attitudes and we did meet some good people but it is just that some of the discomfort we encountered is something we don't run into in California.
If everything else is good and cost of living is reasonable we could see ourselves moving to either Atlanta or Raleigh but Oklahoma seemed to be a bit too much.
I'm sorry for what you experienced. I have never dealt with anything to the degree you have, but I can empathize a bit (Asian male who has dated white females) Seems like you were unlucky and encountered the worst/most ignorant people, but I wouldn't be shocked if it were to continue to happen somewhat regularly if you lived out here (the south).
Good luck if you do move...and consider that you are helping to change perceptions, blazing the path for a more tolerant America in twenty years or so.
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Originally Posted by MathiasRed
Thank you everyone for answering my question and taking the time to share your experiences.
In Atlanta and Raleigh I did see interracial couples but it was mainly White men with Asian women and occasionally Black men with White women. Here in California I see Latino and Asian men date White women regularly, no one makes a big deal about it because a Latino with a White female is so common here. A lot of those Latinos share some traits that I have (skin color, hair color, and eye color).
Maybe that is why we were met with unwelcome attitudes there or we just happened to run into a lot of the wrong people. I am sure most people in those states do not hold those attitudes and we did meet some good people but it is just that some of the discomfort we encountered is something we don't run into in California.
If everything else is good and cost of living is reasonable we could see ourselves moving to either Atlanta or Raleigh but Oklahoma seemed to be a bit too much.
Caucasian woman married to a man of Pakistani heritage. Never had a problem here in Atlanta. EVER.
I have stayed in Boston before and have a lot of friends there, seeing a foreign looking man (any kind of Asian from Chinese to Indian, middle eastern, or latino) with a White wife or girlfriend is not unheard of. There are plenty of married couples like this in Cambridge, people make no big deal about it.
A city I can speak for is Atlanta, the suburbs are not accepting of interracial relationships involving White females with males who look foreign. Among the younger crowd, you never see it, ever. I never saw a couple like you and your girlfriend in my entire life in Atlanta among the younger crowds. We have a certain kind of way of thinking there. Sure, we'll be your friends but if you are a foreigner we do not want your son anywhere near our daughter, especially if it involves dating. That is just the way it is in Atlanta and the entire ex-confederacy.
Anywhere in the Northeast, upper midwest, and the west coast will be good. Try Seattle, lots of job growth and the Seahawks just won the superbowl.
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