Something to think about when Babysitting Grandkids (parents, old, babysit)
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While I was growing up, I was blessed to have one living grandparent babysit me when my parents were busy or away. I don't really recall the frequency, but I would guess I saw her weekly, and sometimes for a week or more at a stretch while my parents vacationed.
After I graduated, I moved away, and contact with my grandparent fell off to nearly nothing.
Once I matured a bit and finished sewing my wild oats, I regretted the loss of contact and began to appreciate all that my grandparent had done for me.
Again, I was blessed with the opportunity to pursue an advanced degree in my hometown, and spend some more time with my grandparent. Now, our roles were reversed. While she was self-sufficient, she could not get out to do some of the shopping she liked. So I and my spouse would spend a few hours every week taking her to the stores she liked, and maybe out for an occasional meal, ice cream, or other treat. My parents always thanked us for doing this, but to us it was no burden, but a pleasure to spend time with her.
So, while you're getting annoyed at your darn or dear kids for imposing on you to babysit, remember that you are forming a lasting bond with their little terror. Even if they move away and spend their 20's seeming to forget that you exist, they remember and--if you're all lucky--get to pay you back a fraction of what you gave them.
Not that it's as good as spending time together in person, but social media is a great way to stay connected with grandkids when they head off to college or to start their adult life in a new location.
I LOVE spending time/ weekends with my grandson, (almost 4). If I live that long, I would LOVE for him to take ME on outings!!! That would be just TOO COOL!!! Time I get with him, is very limited, but he does occasionally call me on his mom's cell phone! He has done this since he was 2. I've never figured out HOW a 2 yr old KNOWS how to know grandma's phone no.???
While I was growing up, I was blessed to have one living grandparent babysit me when my parents were busy or away. I don't really recall the frequency, but I would guess I saw her weekly, and sometimes for a week or more at a stretch while my parents vacationed.
After I graduated, I moved away, and contact with my grandparent fell off to nearly nothing.
Once I matured a bit and finished sewing my wild oats, I regretted the loss of contact and began to appreciate all that my grandparent had done for me.
Again, I was blessed with the opportunity to pursue an advanced degree in my hometown, and spend some more time with my grandparent. Now, our roles were reversed. While she was self-sufficient, she could not get out to do some of the shopping she liked. So I and my spouse would spend a few hours every week taking her to the stores she liked, and maybe out for an occasional meal, ice cream, or other treat. My parents always thanked us for doing this, but to us it was no burden, but a pleasure to spend time with her.
So, while you're getting annoyed at your darn or dear kids for imposing on you to babysit, remember that you are forming a lasting bond with their little terror. Even if they move away and spend their 20's seeming to forget that you exist, they remember and--if you're all lucky--get to pay you back a fraction of what you gave them.
Our situation is living proof of the above. My daughters had 2 grandmothers. One of those grandmothers spent time with them when they were little. Tea parties, baking cookies, nature hikes, day trips to the beach. Nothing expensive, extravagant. But she spent "time" with them, and thoroughly enjoyed them. The other grandmother, was far too interested in her 3rd husband ... and their social life and anytime the kids were with them, they were parked in front of the tv, and apologized to, but "gma has things to do", as 3rd husband, barked at them and dared them to move or touch anything.
Fast forward some 20 years later. Daughters spend time with g'ma #1, one of the daughters cleans for her 86 yo grandmother, weekly and has lunch with her, takes her for errands. The other daughter, takes her also for errands, washes her dogs, takes her to the grocery, has lunch with her. They absolutely enjoy spending time with this specific g'ma.
The other g'ma (the one who didn't have time for them when they were little and in very *unsaid* terms, imparted to them that they were a bother), ponders why her g'kids never call, never seek to spend time with her.
It's very interesting to watch as the parent in the middle of all this. I have tried to encourage my grown daughters, to perhaps care a little more about g'ma #2, and seek her out. But really to no avail. I get reminded by them how g'ma #2 wasn't there for them. In truth, the "bond" isn't there between g'ma #2, and the daughters, while it is very much there with the g'ma who would sit in the floor with them for tea parties, or bake cookies, or go on nature hikes, or take them camping, or to the beach for the day, etc.
It is sad, as I watch g'ma #2, opine that her g'kids don't seek her out. But I do have to agree when my daughters remind me of how they were tx'd as children, and basically what they define as "we didn't spend any time with her, we don't know her, other than she's always so judgemental and not fun to be around".
So true the above scenario. So very true.
I have one grand daughter now, and I absolute adore her, and delight in spending time with her, and taking her on adventures. We've been to the children's museum, the zoo, (she is only 2 yo), I take her the indoor playground at the mall, the outside playground at the park, take her for walks. I thoroughly enjoy what time I get to spend with her, and enjoy seeing new experiences through her. I'm not doing it because I'm "buying" a future with her, though the hope that will be the case, is a bonus. I'm doing it because I thoroughly enjoy her.
I guess g'parents have to do what makes them happy, they are people too. If they don't enjoy, as g'ma #2 exhibited, ... then they can't complain when that day comes later, and those same kids are grown people who don't know you, and don't seek to be around you. Sad but true.
I guess g'parents have to do what makes them happy, they are people too. If they don't enjoy, as g'ma #2 exhibited, ... then they can't complain when that day comes later, and those same kids are grown people who don't know you, and don't seek to be around you. Sad but true.
So true. This same scenario has played out for our children's two grandmothers as well.
So true. This same scenario has played out for our children's two grandmothers as well.
And very interesting to note, that gma #1, the one that spent a lot of time with them, she seemed to have a realization that they were "sewing wild oats" as their late teens and early 20's came about, and they didn't have time for her, or us, or anyone else, but friends. She didn't cast aspersions, just seemed to realize, "they will come back, give them time". And they did come back.
That kind of an attitude served them both well. The g'ma didn't set up false expectations for herself and her relationship(s) with the kids, .. and cause herself undue grief in thinking they should come around more than they did. And the girls, it also allowed them the latitude to do what .. essentially ... was age appropriate for them, stretch their wings some.
I'm watching all of this with a keen interest and hope to one day call on that valuable insight myself.
I have 6 grandkids, ages 5 to 18. You don't have to tell me how important it is to spend time with them!
We live 2 states away from them. The oldest two spent the summer with us up here in Maine (age 15 and 18). This was especially important, as the 18 yo is just starting college, and the wife and I realize that once he graduates, he will be a man and have a life of his own. His 15 yo sister will also start college before he graduates. At some point, 3 of them will be in college at the same time.
We have done all we can do. The kids have all spent time outdoors with me, fishing - camping - hiking - shooting. We are an outdoors family. We have taken them all on trips to other states. Holidays are still usually spent all together at meals. Certainly by now, they all know that we love them dearly.
Once they finish college, we hope they will still spend time with us, when they have time....
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