Embarrased by granddaughter's behavior (parents, old, child, son)
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This is a bit difficult for me to write about. Last night had both granddaughters spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa. They are cousins. One is close to six and the other just turned five. I got them into Pj's...the older was in a nightgown and does not wear panties to bed. They younger went downstairs to get a couple of books for Grandpa to read. We were all in the bedroom together and I was trying to get the blankets adjusted and each settled in there own twin beds.
Grandpa gave me a funny look and I turned to see the older in the nightgown with her legs apart and showing everything. I said"....." put your nightgown down. She said "I am clapping my feet" I didn't want to make a big fuss over this, but I felt it was really disturbing behavior for a girl almost 6. She is an only child.
I cannot say a word to my son or daughter-in-law. I did chat with the child this morning while helping her with her shower. I said there are certain things we do not do and showing off private parts like she did last night is one of those .
I guess what I need to know if this is normal for this age. I could see if she was 3 or four, but almost 6 seems to me to be showing a more modest behavior.
IMHO she should be wearing underpants to bed. I can't think of any possible reason for her not to. Why do you feel you can't say anything about this to your son & DIL?
For what it's worth, I still have to remind my 6.5 year old daughter to "hold her legs together" if she's wearing a dress and is sitting somewhere in public. At 6 they are still not very aware of how they are perceived, (and also they don't care what other people are showing, unless it's something glaringly so, like bum - the funny thing at this age.).
If you can't tell anything to the girls' parents, then don't. As grandma, you have the right to tell her the rules of your house, too. There is nothing wrong in telling her to cover up. And keep covering her with the blanket for now.
My daughter is 7 and she does that every once in awhile. I tell her constantly to cover up she is showing her private parts and that is not proper behavior. Next time you have her over, if she is doing that, just re-enforce that she is not to show her private parts, it is not proper.
It depends on your relationship with your son, I know if my mom called me up to tell me my daughter was doing that and didn't know how to react, I would have been more than glad she told me so I could have a discussion with my daughter.
IMHO she should be wearing underpants to bed. I can't think of any possible reason for her not to. Why do you feel you can't say anything about this to your son & DIL?
My daughter-in-law has had issues with us that I won't go into. We talk, but this would be criticizing her daughter and that is a no-no. I try to set certain rules in our home, which both girls (granddaughters) understand. Doesn't mean they always follow them. I will just continue to tell both of them how "Ladies" should behave and hope that it sinks in.
My daughter-in-law has had issues with us that I won't go into. We talk, but this would be criticizing her daughter and that is a no-no. I try to set certain rules in our home, which both girls (granddaughters) understand. Doesn't mean they always follow them. I will just continue to tell both of them how "Ladies" should behave and hope that it sinks in.
I feel for you. My mom and sis are in that situation. It doesn't matter what my mom says, it makes sis crazy.
I would just keep doing what you are doing, and let your granddaughter know in your home, she is to cover-up. There is nothing for you to be embarrassed about, she is 6.
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala
For what it's worth, I still have to remind my 6.5 year old daughter to "hold her legs together" if she's wearing a dress and is sitting somewhere in public. At 6 they are still not very aware of how they are perceived, (and also they don't care what other people are showing, unless it's something glaringly so, like bum - the funny thing at this age.).
If you can't tell anything to the girls' parents, then don't. As grandma, you have the right to tell her the rules of your house, too. There is nothing wrong in telling her to cover up. And keep covering her with the blanket for now.
I can think of several reasons why she might not be wearing underwear and don't see why she should have to. I think it was handled just right. I would have said the same thing to her (i.e. that it is not okay to show private parts) and not made a big deal out of what was probably an innocent act on her part.
Grandpa gave me a funny look and I turned to see the older in the nightgown with her legs apart and showing everything. I said"....." put your nightgown down. She said "I am clapping my feet" I didn't want to make a big fuss over this, but I felt it was really disturbing behavior for a girl almost 6.
Did you think she was coming onto your husband, or something? Your reaction - saying you were "embarrassed" - seems a bit much.
Do you like this granddaughter, as much as the younger one? I sensed a certain chilliness in your post towards the girl.......
Did you think she was coming onto your husband, or something? Your reaction - saying you were "embarrassed" - seems a bit much.
Do you like this granddaughter, as much as the younger one? I sensed a certain chilliness in your post towards the girl.......
I cannot find where Gramma said she was "embarrassed". I did not get the feeling that Gramma "loves" one more than the other nor do I think that Gramma thought this had anything to do with "coming on to Grampa". There is no "chilliness" to this post, just a Grandmother being concerned with a young ladies behavior, which is perfectly acceptable. If nobody corrects this childs behavior now, she will only think it is acceptable in the future. I think you are reading way too much into the post. Are you a Grandparent? I have to ask because of other replies you have made to other posts....Do you have annimostiy towards Grandparents in general? It seems that you are on the extreme side of being critical towards Grandparents. If you do have bitter feelings, then maybe not replying to the original threads would be the best thing. Simply to avoid an online feud that will lead nowhere.
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Granddaughter
