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It seems like a double standard to me for 40-year-olds to be able to have sex with people who can't vote. I'm curious as to how those who believe the age of consent should be lower than 18 feel about lowering the voting age. And yes, I do believe in Romeo and Juliet laws (close-in-age exceptions).
Most age of consent laws have stipulations regarding age difference. For instance, in states where the age of consent is 16, it will usually stipulate that the partner cannot be more than 5 years older. There is no state where it's legal for a 40 year old to have sex with a 16 year old, even if 16 is the age of consent in the state. I think that's a good thing in general, said as someone who had poor boundaries when young and was prey to older men who knew how to take advantage of my vulnerability and naivete.
I find many age-based rules to not make sense though. For instance I always found it ridiculous that an 18 year old is considered mature enough to go to Afghanistan and get shot, but not mature enough to buy a pack of cigarettes or a beer before they leave, nor even to rent a car (you have to be 25, my nephew found out when he tried to visit us from his Marine base in NC).
I would say 17 for any age, with the following close in age exceptions:
16 - legal if partner is under 25 years old
14-15 - legal if partner is within 4 years
12-13 - legal if partner is within 2 years
Under 12 - legal if partner is within 1 year (365 days)
14 or 15. In my state kids can get their drivers permit at 15.5 and their license at 16 years old. If they can handle the responsibility of operating a 2 ton vehicle down the road at 70 mph, then they can handle sex. It seems ridiculous to me to say otherwise.
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Wherever you place the age of consent, it should also be the case that they should be allowed to vote, get drafted during war time, and even get the death penalty where allowed by law. Or am I missing something here?
14 or 15. In my state kids can get their drivers permit at 15.5 and their license at 16 years old. If they can handle the responsibility of operating a 2 ton vehicle down the road at 70 mph, then they can handle sex. It seems ridiculous to me to say otherwise.
You know you are in the U.S. when you see driving an automobile, a machine, virtually equated with having a sexual experience with another human being.
OK, since we have EZ Rent-a-Car, why such a fuss about renting a ride at the Boom-Boom Booty Brothel.
Wherever you place the age of consent, it should also be the case that they should be allowed to vote, get drafted during war time, and even get the death penalty where allowed by law. Or am I missing something here?
Right....because all these experiences are the same?
I think that people are equating one thing with another thing, because of RESPONSIBILITY being the underlying determinant. And questions about a person's ability to make reasonable judgments.
A significant reason that my opinion differs from many, is that many people bundle sex with other things. Sex for making babies, for forming commitments or marriage... The fact is, in today's American culture, people like casual sex sometimes. It's just a fact. And while I certainly PREFER a nice fulfilling emotional bond, and a nice long fulfilling relationship with a wonderful partner, as an ideal situation to be having sex in...that just won't always be appropriate. I wasn't ready to even try doing that, probably I would say until my 30s. I needed to grow up, because anyone who fell in love with 18 year old me was gonna get a big surprise as much as I still had to grow and change. I would not be the same person in a decade. Feels like a bait and switch, but there it is. If you marry a very young partner, you don't know who you're going to be with in the long run. And I have seen MANY people get damaged very badly by a partner who tries to force them to NOT grow and change, to continue being the young person they first fell in love with.
Sure, casual sex is risky. But there are ways to mitigate those risks somewhat. And in fact, sex with one dedicated partner is also risky, as it only takes one person who has a virus, or one instance of failed protection, or something, to get saddled with disease or pregnancy. You rolls your dice, you takes your chances. Even as a teenager I was able to grasp that fact.
So my boyfriend had me watch the movie, "Lolita." Most who would watch that would say that his attraction to the girl was sick, and wanting her sexually was the biggest crime there. I don't agree in the slightest. My reaction to that film was:
I feel so sorry for the mother, even if she was kind of a shrew. She was in love, and he was just deceiving her and using her, and actually held her in contempt. How awful. Then he made the huge mistake of basically kidnapping this girl and trying to keep her, control her, and have her as his plaything, blending authority roles of parenting with partner roles, letting her nurture manipulative behaviors and exercise her power over him which would foster potentially a disastrous personality disorder in her, and a tendency to commodify sexuality. It was this learned behavior of using sex to get what she wanted that led her to the other guy and the other situation she was in. I bet her and her husband wind up screaming and throwing things at one another inside of 3 years, and she will seek out abusive and exploitative relationship structures for her whole life unless she gets some serious help.
Too bad Jeremy Irons' character wasn't able to simply bounce in and out of her bed and be on his way. The relationship damaged her. Not necessarily just the sex.
Age differences don't necessarily bother me either, in and of themselves. I like older partners. My guy is 20 years older than me (58/38) and we are beautifully and happily matched. I don't want anyone near my age, I can't even take them seriously. What is problematic is when there is an authority role or exploitation involved, or again, more commitment expected than a young person is ready to choose.
Wherever you place the age of consent, it should also be the case that they should be allowed to vote, get drafted during war time, and even get the death penalty where allowed by law. Or am I missing something here?
Problem is that people don't equate sex with responsibility. It's just "fun" so why not? Oh, but if a kid is the result, THEN what? Sex can equal kids.
Right....because all these experiences are the same?
I agree with you. But I do think that the declaration of being an adult (which I think should be 18) means you are legally an adult in all things. For example, that an 18 year old fighting in Afghanistan can't have an alcoholic drink in his hometown just doesn't make sense to me.
Problem is that people don't equate sex with responsibility. It's just "fun" so why not? Oh, but if a kid is the result, THEN what? Sex can equal kids.
If teenagers have access to birth control, then I don't see the issue. Because looking back, I don't see a higher prevalence of teenagers who pursue casual sex, but have birth control, failing to take precautions, compared to adults who have casual sex (or heck, committed sex where kids just aren't part of the plan) failing to take precautions. I would like to find some statistics on this, as to what age group has the most unplanned pregnancies...might be interesting.
Lots and lots of people have sex when they're not trying to make babies, that's all I'm trying to say. Most women I've known, are on some form of birth control for significant portions of their lives.
I think that the sex ed we've got for kids in middle and high school does a reasonable job of spelling out the possible consequences. What it could do with a big overhaul on though, is the concept of consent.
EDIT: This study was done with regard to 2010 and 2011, so not really current, but when they looked at data for unintended pregnancies of women aged 15-44, most of them fell into the 20-24 years old demographic.
Other indicators for higher rates of unintended pregnancy are: minority race, poverty, lower education level, and cohabitation with a partner. So the snapshot I am getting is that unintended pregnancy is most likely for a young woman of limited means who goes from home/family into "living with boyfriend" situation and may have limited access to healthcare/birth control due to poverty and either no access to resources or not being educated on what resources for birth control may be available to her.
Which is pretty much exactly how I ended up pregnant at 19.
EDIT#2 (sorry!): Finished reading it, it also does say that IF only sexually active teens are considered for age bracket rates, and not those who report not being sexually active, then unintended pregnancy in the 15-19 demographic is highest. So you do have a point. But I also wonder about birth control availability as a factor in that group.
Last edited by Sonic_Spork; 06-14-2017 at 11:40 AM..
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