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Ok, so dad died a year ago today. I live out of state and have made it a point to call my mother several times today to chit cat about her church service, her entertainment this afternoon at her assisted living place (you know, just to see how she is doing since today is the one year day). She seems to be holding up well.
I have three siblings who all live there. Not a one has called or stopped to visit her. Something is wrong with this picture or I am warped in how I think things should go in these situations. I'm glad she is as she is and not as I am or I'd be devastated if I were her getting no calls or visits. That's just me. Am I right or wrong or is there no right or wrong or what are your thoughts? Seems a bit cold to me to just forget about him completely like this and not even acknowledge things and not contact her. Everyone is too busy with their families this weekend I guess.
I would find that a bit surprising as well. Heck my parents are divorced and I'd still call the other to ask how they're doing after something like that.
Some people just aren't good at handling death I suppose. You could give them a call and tell them they ought to call your mother and have a chat with her.
You can't judge why your other siblings haven't called your mother. Maybe they will call later and maybe they won't. Yes, I agree it's a shame but try not to worry or wonder why people don't do something. I'd just worry about myself and my actions and try to do the right thing.
You can't judge why your other siblings haven't called your mother. Maybe they will call later and maybe they won't. Yes, I agree it's a shame but try not to worry or wonder why people don't do something. I'd just worry about myself and my actions and try to do the right thing.
I really think this is the best answer.
If you spend time and energy worry about others actions, the only person it's going to hurt... is you.
Death is gonna tap each of us on the shoulder one day, and when it comes to a loved one, there will be strong emotions that each has to take care of in their own way. In regards to your mother and the loss of her husband, it's a pretty safe bet that she'll be thinking about him.
No doubt the griving by her and your siblings will change as time passes. However, one year anniversary, for her it may be quite fresh and heavy on her mind, and it was acknowledged by you, and it should have been acknowledged by them by contacting her in some way. You did the right thing. We can't always make others do so also.
Strictly from your post, it does seem odd that your 3 siblings, who live near your mother, have not given her attention on the one-year anniversary of your father's passing. I would hope however that during all other times, they are there for her.
I have siblings and I would be furious if they neglected our parents this way.
Thank you all. The day's not over yet, yet there is a two hour time difference ahead of where I am. I will call closer to the end of the day. I do hope that someone calls. I would have hoped for a visit or surprise visit. I for sure thought that the pastor who always visits would have visited today as he was there and he did not visit yet does on other occasions.
I guess I am just big on anniversaries. I feel like I was adopted or that they brought the wrong kid home from the hospital. I feel more different than I always have and do. It's like "who are these people?!" My one brother lives ten minutes away!
Oh well, I will just busy myself with other worries (unfortunately, there are other things to worry about) and that'll distract me from this. There is, of course, Sept 1 coming up (one year day of his funeral) and I guess I'll wonder if anyone will call or drop by that day too. I already emphasized to my other brother that my mother was saying things like "I want to die and go in peace" and that maybe more attn could be given to her around this time and I guess I did not get through to him. I can only try and do my part. Shrug.
Ok, so dad died a year ago today. I live out of state and have made it a point to call my mother several times today to chit cat about her church service, her entertainment this afternoon at her assisted living place (you know, just to see how she is doing since today is the one year day). She seems to be holding up well.
I have three siblings who all live there. Not a one has called or stopped to visit her. Something is wrong with this picture or I am warped in how I think things should go in these situations. I'm glad she is as she is and not as I am or I'd be devastated if I were her getting no calls or visits. That's just me. Am I right or wrong or is there no right or wrong or what are your thoughts? Seems a bit cold to me to just forget about him completely like this and not even acknowledge things and not contact her. Everyone is too busy with their families this weekend I guess.
What is assisted living? She lives alone? My father passed away also but its been a while so I know how you feel.
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I can only try and do my part. Shrug.
