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Specifically, do you think everyone (who is not a sociopath or suffers a similar disorder), goes into depression and hysteria when a loved one dies?
When my grandma died, I didn't really go through any kind of grieving process. Which is weird, because I loved her and was very close to her, especially when I was little (I haven't seen much of her in the past 10 years).
But most of the rest of my family did grieve and cry, not like for months but definitely significantly. But I just never felt the need to for some reason.
The only grief I experienced was the grief over not grieving. I felt, and still feel guilty, that I didn't suffer emotionally when she died.
I read somewhere that up to half of people actually feel the same way I do - that is, they don't go through a grieving process. I know people say 'everyone grieves in different ways', or 'you're just denying your feelings because it's too hard to accept', but no, i just didn't feel much grief.
I have felt grief before, but over things other than death. It killed me when I was rejected by a girl I was in love with (not just a crush, a close friend I had more feelings for). It felt like the same way most people would feel if a parent died. It took me over a YEAR to really get over it, and afterwards I've just never been able to feel grief at all, since I loved her so much. Death to me is just weird and in a way kind of interesting, frankly, I don't think I would feel immense grief unless a young family member or friend died.
Does anyone else feel the same way? Or am I just a weirdo? Does anyone else NOT go into depression/hysteria/suicide mode over every dead relative?
I definitely think if you feel grief, you should cry it out. People need to be honest with their feelings, for their own sake.
No, I didn't go crazy and cry and everything else when my mom passed. It's not that I had any angst against her, I loved her dearly, but when you witness what she suffered through, her passing was more of a relief in the end, which was the best thing.
I was having lunch with a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist and one time this very subject came up. I brought something up about grieving and he told me when his father died he was surprised he had no emotion about it, but when the dog died he cried and felt so bad. He proceeded to tell me he felt that a part of the grief he felt for the dog was repressed emotion for his father's death. People manifest grief in many different ways and times.
The other way of seeing it is the way Prince_Frog described it. In that case you are somewhat prepared for it emotionally in a way you aren't when it's sudden and unknown. Your emotions aren't surprised.
Not to compare Prince's mom to a dog, my one dog, who wasn't very old, simply and suddenly just fell over on my lap on the bed and died. I was devastated and it was horribly painful and I felt depressed for weeks. Conversely, I have another dog who is close to 16 years old and for more than a month or so she's been showing strong signs she is going to die soon (if she makes it to the end of April I'll be surprised). While I will miss her terribly, I was and have been able to tell her how much she's meant to me and feel blessed she was in my life as long as she has been - I have been able to say my goodbyes and I'm more emotionally prepared to deal with her passing.
So, grief is as different as the circumstances which occur.
I was having lunch with a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist and one time this very subject came up. I brought something up about grieving and he told me when his father died he was surprised he had no emotion about it, but when the dog died he cried and felt so bad. He proceeded to tell me he felt that a part of the grief he felt for the dog was repressed emotion for his father's death. People manifest grief in many different ways and times.
But is it true that some people, a good deal of people, don't feel grief at all sometimes over loss?
But is it true that some people, a good deal of people, don't feel grief at all sometimes over loss?
Yes. I really don't need to elaborate, but the answer to your question is yes. And they are nomal and aren't sociopaths or have strange issues. I can attest to this from my own personal experience.
Last edited by Thursday007; 04-20-2011 at 12:54 AM..
Yes. I really don't need to elaborate, but the answer to your question is yes. And they are nomal and aren't psychopaths or have strange issues. I can attest to this from my own personal experience.
Yeah. I kind of feel like we are pressured to act depressed and hysterical when somebody dies, like anything less, in our society, is considered dishonor to the dead. People are so quick to tear down the living, but say one thing about the dead, and the very same people will get on their high horse.
Yeah. I kind of feel like we are pressured to act depressed and hysterical when somebody dies, like anything less, in our society, is considered dishonor to the dead. People are so quick to tear down the living, but say one thing about the dead, and the very same people will get on their high horse.
My parents had me relatively young so I was close in age to my aunts and uncles, one is even younger than me. When my mom's younger brother committed suicide, which didn't surprise me based on his behavior, I felt an indifference about it. I don't remember shedding a tear. That is except when my mom started sobbing and put her arm around my brother and one around me and squeaked out, 'I love both you kids." It was her that made me feel any emotion.
But, when we were at the funeral home, I spent a lot of time there to keep my one aunt company and after a few long, long hours you tend to get a little punchy. We sat in the back row of all these chairs and were cutting up pretty bad. Things my uncle would have done or said and things other people were repetatively saying. I remember walking over to where she was sitting and said, "If I hear one more person say, "He looks so peaceful" I think I'll hurl. Of course he's peaceful - he's dead.' Mind you were were there for almost 12 hours on our second day and she had to get up and leave the room to keep from laughing. But I knew she loved him and the two of them were very close.
My parents had me relatively young so I was close in age to my aunts and uncles, one is even younger than me. When my mom's younger brother committed suicide, which didn't surprise me based on his behavior, I felt an indifference about it. I don't remember shedding a tear. That is except when my mom started sobbing and put her arm around my brother and one around me and squeaked out, 'I love both you kids." It was her that made me feel any emotion.
Yeah I can be very emotional. I cry at sad movies, I cry at certain situations - but just the fact somebody died that doesn't bother me usually. To me sadness is not an entirely negative emotion, there is something touching about sadness. Death on the other hand, sucks, but it's just what it is.
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Does anyone else NOT go into depression/hysteria/suicide mode over every dead relative?
