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My wife died almost twenty five years ago. I still have the dreams. At first they were always the same - she had not died. I dreamed that the death was all a dream. The dreams are infrequent now, but still happen from time to time. Twenty five years later, new wife, new family with new kids grown and gone, new life, but she still lurks in my mind somewhere.
FWIW, I still have dreams about people I was with in Vietnam who did not make it. That is so far back I can't even compute it.
I've had dreams about loved ones who have passed, and I've kind of developed a sense of which dreams are "coping" dreams and which I think are actual communications.
For example, shortly after my father died, I dreamed he came to visit and he looked absolutely radiant. He looked about thirty five with his original dark hair, he was wearing what looked like a brilliant white garment, and he was smiling as I'd never seen him smile before. He didn't say a word, but I knew without a doubt that he was happy and at peace. That one is in my book as a communication from him. It was wonderful, and I was happy for days afterward.
On the other hand, after my mother passed, I had several dreams where I was looking for her, but she was elusive. I'd finally see her, but she was busy and I couldn't get her attention. I'd wake up sad and frustrated, sometimes in tears. Those were coping dreams. It was extremely difficult for me to deal with the dementia that took her away from us in many ways before she died, and her death was sudden and left all of us somewhat shocked. I didn't need a dream interpretation book to know that my mind was trying to process her final months and death.
There have been other dreams about loved ones who have passed, but those are the two that really helped me understand what I think is coming from my subconscious, and what I feel is an actual communication.
I do frequently and wake up crying or terrified. It doesn’t make me happy to dream of her.
Am I the only one? How do you feel?
My case might be different but, I have only dreamed about dead loved ones in the capacity that I was aware they were dead and only saw their spirits. Basically, one came to say goodbye and was happy and radiant. The other was scared and lost (unfortunately).
I can't rep you until I spread some reputations around, but I really enjoyed this post about your loved one coming back. I am coming up on the one-year anniversary of my soulmates passing. It is not an easy time for me even though I had believed that I had finally achieved the acceptance stage.
I have very powerful and vivid dreams. I have always had a very active dream life. I have not had any dreams of my parents who are now both passed on but I have dreamt of my loved one.
It was so nice to hear his voice again that I woke up and started crying really hard. But I was so thankful to have such a vivid dream of him. I don't believe I am alone but my sadness still rears its ugly head from time to time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv
Wow, that would make me feel so good, coffeemoments!
I never pondered what happens when we die before my hubby told me of his experience coming back from the dead. He was reluctant to tell me because he thought I would scoff or not believe him.
It happened in the early '90s. He was crossing the street, a car ran the red light and smashed into him. Hit and run. The fire-rescue found him dead in the middle of the street. He said he was floating above his body looking down on the crowd that had gathered. He then saw a light above him and he started to rise up into it. He saw his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who had died. A couple of friends too.
He saw them, was happy and had no pain. Then he heard the EMS calling out to him (the EMS was a cousin) to "come back, come back" while doing CPR. Hubby then thought to himself "I don't want to die" and BOOM......he was back in his body with excruciating pain.
I did not scoff. I believed him. From that day forward I am less afraid of dying.
That also makes me feel that some of my dreams are real. There is a difference in how I feel when I wake up. Sometimes I feel like it was just a dream. Other times I feel like he has really been with me. Sadly, they are getting less and less the more I accept his death and find my peace. He gets to rest finally.
Oh yea. I had a dream of my grandfather. It was sobering. The dream was that he was on his side, back towards me. I was laying down next to him. We used to nap during my grandmother's soaps. I remember him talking to me and I wasn't the young kid, I was my age. He told me that my voice sounded different and he wanted to see me. I said no paw paw, I want you to remember me how I looked when you were alive. I don't want you to see me after all these years, how much I've changed. Then I woke up....
I dream of other family members. It's bitter sweet. Just makes me want to call or go visit them, to tell them how much they're loved and missed...
In the darkest time of my grief, I saw my late-husband in a dream. He was sitting in a chair looking at me and he seemed so REAL. In disbelief I asked him "Is that you? Is that really you?" He nodded. Then I begged and pleaded with him over and over again not to leave me. "Pleeeease don't leave me!" I sobbed and threw myself at his feet.
He told me that he would never leave me and that he would always be with me. He also said that I was entering my "third phase" in life. Then he wrapped his arms around me in an embrace that completely enveloped me and my entire body was filled with warmth; it was as if I was being swaddled like a baby.
Then I woke up and realized that it was just a dream. I think of that dream almost every day and it brings me comfort.
I've had other dreams of him, but they seem more like regular dreams, nothing like that one. Most dreams don't make sense but that one was different in that his message to me was so clear and direct. There was nothing puzzling about it.
I started following this thread because I have a good friend and a family member that I've dreamed about often, although with less frequency as time goes on. A few comments in this thread about people wishing they had one more chance to talk to a loved one however inspired me to call my mother (who is getting on in years and not entirely healthy) and have a nice chat with her, which I have not done in quite a while. I'm pretty sure I made her day, and mine. Thanks.
I have only dreamed once since my dad died two weeks ago.
He was there for only a moment. In a hospital gown, smiling. I turned and saw him, and strangely in my dream I knew he was dead (though he had only been gone for six days at this point). I gasped and reached out to him, and in that moment, he was gone. Not a word said. Just that smile.
I suspected I would dream about him, but I didn't expect to consciously be aware of his death within my dream. It made it feel very real somehow.
I admittedly don't believe in an afterlife, but I have found that feeling like he came to see me one last time makes me feel better, so I choose to do that.
I dreamt of my father the week that he died. We were playing cards, that was the whole dream. When I woke up and knew he was dead I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. So visceral. So painful.
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