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I always question whether those with "1" post are real or not lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberCity
You've got your work cut out for yourself. So you've got to find housing for you and your two daughters, and then another place for the boyfriend? You are being wise to not put the unrelated boyfriend of your 18 year old daughter in the same household as your 12 year old daughter. You planning will pay off, thank you for being a careful parent.
I am not sure where I read the poster was looking for two residences lol. Kind of a sly way of interjecting your own values and morals into the response, but I can see where you or others may be coming from, but we really do not know their complete situation. They may all live together now. The BF and GF may be engaged, but even if not, I usually just try to answer the question at hand as neutrally as possible unless it's it has an impact negatively on myself or others.
I think the "being a careful parent" comment would better and more accurately apply to her/him getting a job first before arriving here. The two 18 year olds aren't probably high earners but may be able to contribute somewhat. But what are they giving up on the mainland??
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirsten davidson
I to am going to move to Oahu with my 12 & 18 year old and her boyfriend as I lived windward years ago was laid off of my job in the finance business and have full equity; my question is why is all the for "sale" housing lease purchaces? I have been very upfront with all the kids that it is a very different standard of living and not everyone gets there own bedroom with CA and there are la coca rochas. Am i better off to sell my house move , rent and get a job prior to buying? Also circles back to how do you get a pre job?
I usually do not answer 'move to hawaii ' threads when children are involved, it's not my place, but I think if you have to ask "how do I get a pre job" then you may not be as 'financially independent' and moving with a child who needs to be taken care of should be #1. I would figure out how to get a job first. So many things to consider with a child. Other posters would be far better to chime in on that than I would. But your post sounds like the typical "hey lets all move to Hawaii" thread and the adult children tag along, the BF comes along, and even though you might be able to count on 3 earners in the family, what if the BF leaves? Doesn't like it. Doesn't fit in? There is more to living in Hawaii than the beach and surf. Will the daughter follow suit if the BF leaves? What if the BF leaves her and finds his passion here? Would you two be able to handle things. If she's 18, not much potential for high earnings. You really would have to plan on just you handling things if the daughter, the BF or both end up leaving. OMG I'm sounding like one of the posters here who is a clairvoyant on the future of people who move here lol,. If you were single, I'd wholeheartedly say go for it, but then again you have a child and that changes everything. Even the 18 year old is still somewhat of a dependent.
I remember about 7 years ago on another hawaii board, a woman from the midwest moved here to Oahu with 2 children (high school age), she sold her house, took the money, moved here and rented an ohana in Kailua and bought a jeep. Got some job downtown and took the bus each day. For the first few months here she was doing well according to her posts, but she stopped posting and I have always wondered if she ended up staying or not. Sometimes people get caught up in their life and don't update us. Looking back it sure was risky, but I don't remember if she had a back up plan or not. Potentially 2 out of 3 of you will not be high earners here. Not sure what your situation is.
What are you leaving on the mainland that you hope to find here? That's always a wise question.
What does "own bedroom with CA" mean? What is a CA? Were you laid off from your 'finance job' when you lived Windward? or recently now on the mainland?
I am not sure where I read the poster was looking for two residences lol. Kind of a sly way of interjecting your own values and morals into the response, but I can see where you or others may be coming from, but we really do not know their complete situation. They may all live together now. The BF and GF may be engaged, but even if not, I usually just try to answer the question at hand as neutrally as possible unless it's it has an impact negatively on myself or others.
The 18 year old is ready to make her own decisions, but the 12 year old is at the mercy of the parent(s) decisions... and at the mercy of the young adult male. [You are right though, it might just be another bogus 1st posting.]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manarii_HNL
What does "own bedroom with CA" mean?
Central Air. Or Consenting Adults. Except for that unfortunate 12 year old, who is too young to consent yet can easily be taken advantage of.
No, I don't keep quiet when I think a child is at danger or being set up for a potential bad situation.
Auntie Cyber
Well, let's face it, everyone has to make their first post sometime. I don't see any bogus hidden agendas in their first post, no spam links, etc. Typical first post tacked on to another thread when they would have been better served starting their own.
I heartily agree with Cyber and Manarii, their plan seems risky at best. The older teens complicate it further. If the 18 year olds do get jobs, what is to stop them from moving out, thereby decreasing the family income and leaving the poster unable to meet bills? And that would also mean the free babysitters moving out, leaving the 12 year old alone for long periods of time once the poster finds a job. Worse, what if the 18 year olds refuse to work and the poster has to support them while they don't help out? I know these words seem harsh, but without any further information about the teens' buy-in to this move, that's what my imagination is serving up this morning.
Last edited by HiloDiver; 07-07-2012 at 06:36 AM..
Sorry, I think the last two posts were a little unessary. This is almost as bad as Viper creating far fetched scenarios on a situation we really know nothing about. None of you people know these people. I mean, your making judgments and assumptions about a boyfriend who could very well be a good member of the family and has known them for years.
I'm sorry, but as a male, it's easy to see the veiled implications of that comment. (or at least that is how i took it.)
Last edited by Manarii_HNL; 07-08-2012 at 06:49 AM..
So, back to the "simple rules" of moving to Hawaii. A lot of the simple rules are just realizing the differences here from the mainland.
There was something on the TV the other day which I was sort of listening to, but not really closely. They were talking about statistics of how Hawaii measures up against the other states. Our cost of living is either the highest or in the top three (I'm pretty sure they were using Oahu/Honolulu stats to compare, although perhaps they averaged the whole state. Not that it would matter, Honolulu has enough population to skew their numbers towards itself). So, anyway, Hawaii has a really high cost of living. We all knew that.
Then, wages in Hawaii were among the lowest in the nation. I think they said on average twenty percent lower. And the Hawaii unemployment numbers were sky high as well. So, that means even a "do you want fries with that" job is going to have competition for it. That service job isn't going to be enough to afford an apartment by itself - (forget a single family residence), so either one person will have to work multiple jobs or several people will have to share their living situations.
The TV went on to say how many folks were using 50% of their income to afford housing and how that kept them from having much of a savings account, affording healthcare, affording education, etc. The folks on the TV then went on to discuss the pressure on housing costs caused by folks moving here for a second home, the folks visiting and then wanting to live here, the military paying for off base housing, etc. etc. Also, they are using "foreign" (mainland United States or actual foreign countries) money to buy Hawaii houses so the house prices are out of reach of the folks working here. Folks living in a place with a lower cost of living and a higher average wage can afford to save up enough money for a down payment on Hawaii houses and because of the economic situation here the folks living here can't afford to match that. So, basically housing is really expensive and is going to stay that way and folks from somewhere else will have an easier time of buying houses.
Oh, yeah, now I remember. It was a PBS discussion on how to get affordable housing for Hawaii's workers. Basically, they said it's been discussed for decades and nobody can do much about it. They said there were thousands of folks signed up for Section 8 housing, but there wasn't enough money in the program to help them all.
(They didn't mention that on the Island of Hawaii there is an "affordable housing" tax bracket so if you are a land lord, you can rent to someone of lower income and get a big tax relief by doing so. Just a hint to Big Island rental unit owners, you can pay about the same amount of taxes as if it were your own personal residence by renting it out to a lower income renter. Of course, there are limits to what you can charge for rent, but if it isn't that fancy of a house which is going to command that high of a rent anyway, it might be worth looking into.)
The islands other than Oahu have a slightly less expensive cost of living but they have a lot less jobs. If you were planning on moving over from the mainland and had either retirement money or some sort of income from the mainland, then the "neighbor" islands might be a good choice. It would take a house from someone already living here, but outside income would be spent in the area which would be good.
I've been contemplating lately how things used to be. Take a big fancy house, didn't they used to have a cook and maids? Maybe a driver, gardener, a "man of all work" or a doorman? Seems each time we get a big estate around here (and they built lots of them all over) there should be a staff to go along with it. Frequently, the staff would live on the estate somewhere. Each fancy house having a staff would help the economy. Usually folks of that level would have several staffs, one which would stay with each house and one which would follow them around as they traveled. It's more service jobs, but at least it would be service jobs with housing.
I have pointed this out before, and I will do it once again. I think it is prudent to change your phone
number to an 808 area code as soon as reasonable....preferably prior to going to Hawai'i if possible.
Hawaiian society, in general, is pretty small and provincial. Your call is more likely to be returned or
even answered if you have an 808 area code in front of your number.
I have too many experiences to list how true and good your advice is. You can get a $15 Tracfone just about anywhere and activate it with an 808 number.
Here's some more advice: when you have the 808 phone number and somebody asks for your phone number DON'T GIVE THEM THE AREA CODE. Only outsiders do that.
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