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I would allow visits once you are all 2 weeks past the second shot. Just make sure that your sister is asymptomatic and has no fever when she does visit. If it makes you feel more comfortable, sit outside and visit with her.
Your sister could have lied to you and told you that she got the shot just to get you off of her back but, instead, she was honest and told you the truth. She gets credit for that.
The chances of fully vaccinated people getting the virus from a healthy, asymptomatic person is slim to none.
Agree, she could have lied but didn't.
I personally don't see an issue with them visiting since everyone else has been vaccinated.
Everyone should mask. They can always visit while outside.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1insider
Anti-vaxxers are selfish to start with but for your sister to refuse the shot in order to visit her elderly mother is the height of selfishness. I imagine she would refuse to wear a mask during the visit as well. No way I'm letting any unvaccinated person near my 95 year old vaccinated mother.
How can you say she's selfish when you don't know why she's not taking an experimental vaccine? Her sister and these "anti-vaxers" you're talking about don't call you names for taking this experimental vaccine?
By the way, I'm not anti-vaccine. I can't get one because I have allergies. The shingles vaccine almost closed my throat then it gave me side effects for over a month.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraG
This is a good question because there are going to be a significant number of healthy people who won't get the vaccine right away, if ever.
I think there are workarounds to stay safe. One or both could wear a mask, stay six feet apart, turn heads away from each other when hugging, visit outside, take temperatures. These are all good practices that have kept most people safe and healthy over the past year, no reason why they shouldn't work even better now, especially when some are vaccinated.
Totally agree with you Kara. There's no reason why they couldn't safely visit with everyone that's been vaccinated. For all we know OP and family could have COVID that they don't know about
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1insider
The only problem is that most people who won't take the vaccine are the same ones that won't wear masks or take other precautions. You wouldn't want someone to mistake you for a liberal while you're wearing a mask to keep from potentially killing a loved one.
I know many people that won't take the experimental vaccine but will gladly mask. I don't know why you think people won't wear a mask just because they won't take the experimental vaccine. The OP can tell his sister that they need to wear masks and visit outside.
Quote:
Originally Posted by D217
Isn't the whole point of getting the vaccine because they say it works?
OP must not be confident that the vaccine will actually protect them. I guess they think they'll be one of the percent that does get COVID after vaccination. Why get the vaccine if you don't think it will protect you. OP could give them COVID
Quote:
Originally Posted by markg91359
The problem with this statement is that it is an "absolute statement". The vaccine "works" and the vaccine works well compared to other vaccines.
This is not the same thing as saying that it works all the time or that every single person who takes it will never become sick with covid. The data we have on both the Pfizer and Moderna vaccine tells us that the vaccine has efficacy of greater than 90%. This is a way of saying that if you take a group of people who have been vaccinated and you compare them to group that have not been vaccinated that there will be over 90% fewer cases of covid among the vaccinated group. Cases of covid will still pop up occasionally--rarely--in the vaccinated group. A very few will end up in the hospital.
In other words, the decision of the OP's mother to vaccinate makes her much less likely to get sick with covid. It does not make it impossible. Now, if the unvaccinated daughter were to change her mind and get vaccinated it would change the equation considerably. The chance of mom becoming sick from her daughter would become remote indeed.
There is another issue too. Its simply that the daughter should respect her mother enough to swallow hard and get a vaccination if she wants to see her. The vaccine is safe and over 200 million shots have been given in the USA. If there was a major problem we would know it by now. The fact that the daughter clings to an irrational anti-vax belief despite all this is sad. It tells me that seeing her mother in person is not a priority for her.
How can you say anything when you don't know why she's not taking an experimental vaccine? You're saying it's safe. Are you that confident that you would put up your own money to give to her sister if she does have it and it turns out it's not safe for her, she has some sort of side effects and possibly dies?
Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva
Studies have shown that there is little evidence of a asymptomatic spread.
I know that this is a scary virus but if you are vaccinated and visiting outside with a well person the chances of any virus transmission happening is slim to none.
Fear and anxiety over an extremely remote possibility should not prevent family members from seeing each other. This is her mom, too. If Mom wants to see her daughter on Mother's Day, she should do so.
FWIW, last year we celebrated Mother's Day with my similarly aged mom, sitting outside in camp chairs. I picked up some take out soup and sandwiches and enjoyed a pretty spring day together. This was all well before a vaccine became available. And we handled subsequent visits with the same sort of care. It meant a lot to Mom that we could see her.
I hope Op can relax her rules a bit. There are safe ways to see each other.
Totally agree with you. They're able to safely visit, that is if the OP wants to. I think the OP doesn't want his sister to visit. The OP said "may not since she chooses to be estranged from family...never got along with mom".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deserterer
Predictable vaccine bickering aside, unless the OP is his/her mom's and brother's legal guardian its the mom's and brother's decision to make. The end.
Agree that it should be mom's decision but I don't think the OP will let their mom decide. They can safely visit by doing it outside, wearing masks.
If this is all still a concern for you then there are still safe ways to have a nice, outdoor visit. Your choice.
Many vaccinated people have just decided to stop worrying about the virus and live their lives again. Their choice.
I'm not going to tell a vaccinated grandmother or a great grandmother that she can't see her unvaccinated grandchildren. I'm not going to pick and choose who she is "allowed" to see, period. That is her choice.
I have been vaccinated. I have no worries at all myself. But this thread is about a unvaccinated person visiting two high risk relatives. Part of why I got vaccinated was because I have to move my 90 year old mom into nursing case. She is doing very poorly. This person who does not want to get the vaccine should do it for their relative.
I have been vaccinated. I have no worries at all myself. But this thread is about a unvaccinated person visiting two high risk relatives. Part of why I got vaccinated was because I have to move my 90 year old mom into nursing case. She is doing very poorly. This person who does not want to get the vaccine should do it for their relative.
That's fine. But if your mom is vaccinated that, alone, should be enough to protect her from the virus. I'm sorry that she is doing poorly and I hope that her move to nursing care goes as smoothly as possible for both you and for her. I understand why you opted to get the vaccine but I also understand why others might make a different decision. I do think that this is, and should remain, a personal healthcare decision. I'm not a big fan of peer pressuring others into undergoing medical procedures - whether it is a shot, a blood draw, a scan or anything else.
My rebellious middle aged unvaccinated sister is a heavy smoker and coughs a lot as well (won't wear mask...blames loving mom for her lot in life for the bad choices she made...drugs, alcohol, etc. when younger)...highly doubt she and unvaccinated brother in law will come over...may not even call her on Mother's Day? It is what it is...I'm sticking with "stay away until you get the vaccine" to protect mom. Appreciate your replies!
My rebellious middle aged unvaccinated sister is a heavy smoker and coughs a lot as well (won't wear mask...blames loving mom for her lot in life for the bad choices she made...drugs, alcohol, etc. when younger)...highly doubt she and unvaccinated brother in law will come over...may not even call her on Mother's Day? It is what it is...I'm sticking with "stay away until you get the vaccine" to protect mom. Appreciate your replies!
You don't like your sister and don't want her around then. You're the boss.
I think it should be left up to her, and the person who provides her care.
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I told her in a text that vaccinated peeps won't hang out with unvaccinated...a recent negative covid test will be required for unvaccinated. She asked why since vaccinated won't get covid? I responded that the vaccine is 95% effective, not 100%. She refuses to get vaccinated now (won't lie and say she got shot (s))...and won't take covid test...probably doesn't even have a thermometer. I'm uncomfortable having her coming over (she may not) to visit my 86 year old mom. Will probably tell them to stay away until vaccinated to protect mom.
IMHO the root of the issue here is that she doesn't respect her family. She shows blatant disregard in multiple ways, not just Covid-19. Even though there are ways to minimize it, there is still some risk. But it still doesn't matter to her. Someone who won't even test for Covid-19 is a person who never considers anyone other than herself. Shows in other aspects of her life. My way and be damned to anyone else. That sort of behavior has consequences.
Last edited by Parnassia; 05-02-2021 at 01:07 PM..
It should be up to her because she is the primary care giver and it should be based on the facts presented. We are dealing with a sister who refuses to get vaccinated and an 86 year old mother who I seriously doubt will recognize who anybody is wearing a mask because they can not see their entire face. If the sister is allowed to visit there is no way to enforce the masking wearing especially in a setting where food might be given and the cognitive abilities in interacting with a person wearing a mask is questionable. If there is a hearing impediment which is common then social distancing is out. More likely then not there won't be that intimate interaction with mask wearers. Facial recognition and expressions are so important for those interactions that mask wearing will go out the window once people get together along with social distancing. People need to get real. It's either an all in emersion experience or all out. It's pointless to have the sister over because it will only lead to a poor interactive experience for both the sister and the mother. Who wants to see somebody wearing a mask and hearing garbled speech through the mask?
I would rather do a FaceTime over the phone and one can talk and see the person without a mask mask and hearing talking quality would be much better.
This is a good question because there are going to be a significant number of healthy people who won't get the vaccine right away, if ever.
I think there are workarounds to stay safe. One or both could wear a mask, stay six feet apart, turn heads away from each other when hugging, visit outside, take temperatures. These are all good practices that have kept most people safe and healthy over the past year, no reason why they shouldn't work even better now, especially when some are vaccinated.
my thoughts exactly.
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