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I don't think anyone wants to be overweight. I believe people who are overweight are not happy about it and would like to change. They feel powerless. After a series of failed diets, they just feel the bulge is inevitable. The stigma hasn't ended. It's not ok for me to dislike someone because of their religion, sexual orientation, or skin color. But many think it's just fine to dislike someone for being heavy. Heavy people are still perceived to be lazy and out of control. There is still discrimination in the workplace and the social scene. Ask any heavy woman how their dating life is going! It's not right but it exists. Read some profiles on singles sites, even the guy who hasn't seen his own feet for decades wants a woman who is 'height/weight proportionate'. I do think it is worse for women than men.
blue62....I do find that it definitely is genetics. My 15 yr old daughter is about 20 lbs overweight. She eats nothing. She took a very sknniy friend on vacation with us for one week last summer, and that skinny kid ate 4 times what my daughter ate. Her friend was amazed at how little she ate and we were amazed at how much her friend ate.
Every now and then I look on the net about bariatric surgery, but of course the net is full of horror stories about any illness or surgery. I did know someone who had it, she was just about my size, but as she lost her weight, she transformed into a different person, by the time the year was up, she was going to night clubs with young girls 1/2 her age, wearing mini skirts while leaving her hubby home with the kids. She then asked for a divorce on Chirstmas Eve, just a few days after he wrote the check to pay for her last semester in college. She left him and the kids. She lost all her friends. It's been a few years, but she has married and divorced 2 times already and had a few live in's in between.
I don't want my life to change, just my weight!
I fear setbacks in my health brough on by elective surgery. I have to be healthy to take care of my family as well as my aged parents who need me. It is a double edged sword....
It's good to know that your family has had a success story. I'm sure your granddaughter will be fine, good for her that an end is in sight. I do not agree with someone with very real problems being put on antidepressants. She is feeling very real feeling. Antidepressants are for people who cannot find happiness when it is right there in front of them. She is living a very difficult life. Kids can be so cruel.
Good luck to her and your son! Thanks for sharing your story.
Before my son had his surgery he had to attend counseling sessions with a good therapist who determined if he wanted to lose weight for the right reasons. He also had to be in good health other than weight related problems,..It is a very hard decision to make, and I am sure you will make the right one .
I guess though it depends on where you live I live in Metro Detroit and well, Michigan is one of the most overweight states in the U.S.
I'm a big 'abnormal' here because I'm a size 2 female. I workout hard every day and well, I watch what I eat 99 percent of the time. I eat very well adn enjoy eating. I don't have to starve myself to death to look good. I feel great too!
We eat lots of vegetarian meals at home. It's actually less expensive to buy our food and nice produce versus eating out all the time...and it's healthier
Actually, I have a family history of heart disease, obesity, diabetes, cancer, and stroke. I am 35 with a clean bill of health. I can't control my genetics, but I can control how fit I am and what I put into my body
I am thin and have struggled all of my life to GAIN weight. I think the fact that I have 3 French Poodles inside of me on speed, all running different directions may have something to do with why I can't gain. I don't think I look anorexic, but being male, 6' tall and weighing 175, I always wanted more weight.
I think the bottom line is that 90% of all of us are never happy with our weight, physique, appearance and/or muscle tone. Arnold Swarzenface in his prime wanted another bigger muscle. Pamela Anderson wanted bigger boobs, then she didn't, now I don't know what she wants. Okra Winfrey lost weight, found it, lost it, found it. Dr Phil Good wishes he had more hair.
Be happy with yourselves I guess, and even if it resides a bit deeper for some, the heart and soul is what matters. If someone doesn't like your appearance, there are plenty other things they can look at...in the immortal words of HIF...F'em
Be happy with yourselves I guess, and even if it resides a bit deeper for some, the heart and soul is what matters. If someone doesn't like your appearance, there are plenty other things they can look at...in the immortal words of HIF...F'em
No stigma (LOL!). . .said by a person who is size 2! Don't even go there, Ms. Size 2. It's not fair for thin people to say it!
Look, when I was anorexic . . . and I was too thin, hospitalized over three months, in fact! I wasn't even a size 2 -- more like size 6!!! The powers that be must've changed size charts because, in high school, when I was called "skeleton" and "stretch" and told to "eat something before you fade away into nothing" I was a size 8!!! Size 8 was thin . . . Size 2 was for 2-years-olds!!!
What years did size charts go to these baby sizes that don't exist in adults?!
Mind you, I was 5'9" weighed about 115 lbs . . .and come on, that's skinny!!! And I was Size 8 . . . Hello?!
Something changed.
And hey, anyone under a human size 10, should not be preaching about being overweight or that it is accepted as "normal" today to be fat. Overweight is overweight and you skinny, skeletal people should not speak to us as if it's ok.
That said, you size 0's to size 6 people need to be careful. It makes us size 14 on up people think we won't be "right" until we look like a starving third world child!!! Statistically speaking, the "average" size woman is size 14.
When I hear that 5'8" Jenny McCarthy felt fat and like a pig at 145 pounds . . . and now feels good at a size 4!!! I, now 5'8" feel like I have to become anorexic again to even see 145 pounds and have to go to my high school weight of 115 to even imagine I could be size 6 or less. At 5'9"/115 pounds, I nearly died . . . it is not a natural weight for people my height [and I am very small-boned]! Yet, these sorts of reports make me want to stop eating again! And when size 2 people tell me it's "ok" to be fat, I want to throw-up and prove to them, fine, I'll be like you! Too thin!
At least, not until you choose to date us or hire us or not call us "lazy" etc. I find it offensive when well-meaning friends tell me "there's this great guy you have to meet" and find out he's obese. In short, many assume us 'fatties' want to date another 'fatty'. That is not necessarily true. Double standard or whatever . . . I like my men with a trim, muscular body on the thin side. I call it "baseball" bodies . . . I hate that overly muscular "football" type and am not attracted to obese men. Ok, a little pudge won't deter me if the man is wonderful, sweet and has a great sense of humor and personality. Still, my preference is a lean, muscular, hot man who loves me as I am!
Yes, I understand and agree . . .we must love ourselves as we are and not just physical appearance. Still, do thin people have to rub it in and announce these small sizes? Remember, most of us with these weighty issues, have a body image problem . . . and when we hear someone of our height is a certain size; this strong voice in our head wants to be the same!
Last edited by AngelAura28; 05-04-2007 at 08:33 PM..
I don't think anyone wants to be overweight. I believe people who are overweight are not happy about it and would like to change. They feel powerless. After a series of failed diets, they just feel the bulge is inevitable. The stigma hasn't ended. It's not ok for me to dislike someone because of their religion, sexual orientation, or skin color. But many think it's just fine to dislike someone for being heavy. Heavy people are still perceived to be lazy and out of control. There is still discrimination in the workplace and the social scene. Ask any heavy woman how their dating life is going! It's not right but it exists. Read some profiles on singles sites, even the guy who hasn't seen his own feet for decades wants a woman who is 'height/weight proportionate'. I do think it is worse for women than men.
Correct, my friend, the stigma hasn't ended. If it had, we wouldn't have so many of us from childhood to the elderly getting eating disorders! And yes, I am a single, overweight woman . . . my dating life is NON-EXISTENT. The men who do notice me are married! They figure we are so lonely and desperate as overweight single women we will go for anything we can get!!! Another false assumption, of course.
So, yeah, my point, too . . . the stigma has not ended; except for those who are size 2. Funny, how the thin people seem to preach that the stigma is over. Yeah, it's over for you, because you are not overweight!
I am thin and have struggled all of my life to GAIN weight. I think the fact that I have 3 French Poodles inside of me on speed, all running different directions may have something to do with why I can't gain. I don't think I look anorexic, but being male, 6' tall and weighing 175, I always wanted more weight.
I think the bottom line is that 90% of all of us are never happy with our weight, physique, appearance and/or muscle tone. Arnold Swarzenface in his prime wanted another bigger muscle. Pamela Anderson wanted bigger boobs, then she didn't, now I don't know what she wants. Okra Winfrey lost weight, found it, lost it, found it. Dr Phil Good wishes he had more hair.
Be happy with yourselves I guess, and even if it resides a bit deeper for some, the heart and soul is what matters. If someone doesn't like your appearance, there are plenty other things they can look at...in the immortal words of HIF...F'em
Ok I hate you for not being able to gain weight!...couldn't let that go....LOL
But you are absolutely right, it'a about what you feel like not what you look like!
Basically nobody wants to say anything to someone who is overweight for fear of hurting their feelings. After I had my son I was obese at 5'4 and 215 pounds. I felt like crap and had constant pain in my back and knees I was not healthy. NOBODY ever told me they were concerned about my health or weight or what or how much I was eating. Now a year and a half later I have lost the weight and happily at 135 pounds............suddenly EVERYBODY has something to say about my weight. Have you eaten lunch? Is that alll your having for dinner? You shouldn't lose any more weight, bla bla bla. Where were these people when I was 215 and could barely make it up the stairs without being out of breath? Did any of them tell me I should not have that extra serving of mash potatoes, did any of them ask what I had for breakfast? NO! I seem to get more "concerned" people now than I ever did when I was obese and I am certainly more healthy now.
The region I live in has officially been named the fattest area in mainland Britain.
We do have an obesity problem but the majority are maybe 20-40lbs overweight although there are some who are heavier.
I felt my weight creeping up so I cut out the crisps, sweets and takeaways and lost those extra lbs.
You're right about portion sizes. When we went to Turkey on holiday, the portions in there McDonalds were much bigger than we have here.
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I live in Metro Detroit and well, Michigan is one of the most overweight states in the U.S. 
Totally agree . . . !
