Dating scene/single women in Kansas City (St. Louis, Overland: middle-class, unemployed) - Missouri (MO) - Page 4 - City-Data Forum

northbound74 · 08-04-2009, 12:35 AM

Not friendly to people they don't know, don't branch out much after their twenties, they have their friends from way back, and there's just not time or room for anybody else..... As a married person, these are exactly the same hurdles I've encountered just when trying to meet people here. Very strange place for some of us to live in. I like the city itself, but the natives sometimes tend to think you're just plain wierd for wanting to move here.

TabulaRasa · 08-04-2009, 07:05 AM

We've not had trouble meeting friendly people, as a couple. The main thing I have found that's been surprising for a metro area is that people (our age and younger) wonder why we're not married. We're 30 and 32 and have been living together for several years. I'm a Midwesterner by birth, so I'm no stranger to the "get married out of high school....at the latest, out of college" mentality...but it's weird that in my hometown of under 10K, and unmarried couple cohabiting long-term doesn't get nearly the raised eyebrows that we seem to from peers in an urban setting. A supervisor of mine (religiously conservative, midtwenties, married with a bunch of small children) seems to ALWAYS be asking me and other coworkers who are in relationships but not engaged when we're going to get married (hi, inappropriate, much?). Was not expecting that. I suppose the difference is that I'm from the upper midwest, where the evangelical Christian foothold isn't as strong as it seems to be, here. Many of my same-aged peers at work, etc. are young and married because of their religious beliefs. I grew up in an area, though rural and midwestern, where that wasn't nearly as pervasive. Most people who married early did so just because the dating pool was small and they figured they'd better strike early. Not due to religious beliefs.

ktloulou · 12-05-2009, 09:45 PM

I think the hardest "thing" to find is someone who is true to their own heart.

Mathguy · 12-07-2009, 03:49 PM

OP, depends on your age, what you are looking for etc.

There are over a million people in the area. When I hear people say that there aren't people to date I think they either wouldn't be happy with anyone, want the *perfect* person (translation: way out of their league), or have been looking in the wrong places etc.

Dating goes through lots of cycles so at times in your life it can be A LOT harder to find what you are looking for than at others. Competition, supply\demand etc.

I do get tired about hearing how there's "no one to date" or that dating is tough (you think? lol).
Each person has to work that out for themselves.

Mathguy · 12-07-2009, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dnw

When I got out of college and took a job in KC I was excited since I thought moving to a big city would provide me with lots of girls to meet and being an attractrive, nice guy with a college degree in his mid 20's I didn't think I would have trouble meeting girls but dating in KC has been lackluster for me.
I've tried the bar scene but I hate going to bars and people in KC aren't friendly to people they don't know so I haven't meet anybody that way. I've also tried internet dating on OKcupid and plentyoffish since they are free but most of the girls on there are fat/have kids but I have dated a few girls from those sites. One of the few friends I have made here in the city outside of work is a girl I meet on a dating site.

Been there.

The value of being a stable, nice guy with a college degree isn't that high in the 20's dating scene but increases steadily with age.

I think that's because *some* younger women are all into the good looking badboys and the fact that he plays in a band and works retail part-time isn't a big deal. Later, she gets pregnant and finds out he is a serial cheater who won't help out with the baby, can't pay child support etc. where the light bulb comes on.

This is where the complaining about "no good guys" generally starts up because they've been in a bad relationship and are out on the market again with kids thrown in and the guys have been picked over.

I think the easiest time to date for gals is DEFINITELY in their <30 years and then due to a lot of factors, especially the higher male death rate, it gets harder as they get older.

bocifus · 12-28-2009, 04:23 PM

I think KC has an under-rated singles scene. There are a lot of ways to meet ppl and I think ppl here are very friendly.

My success in KC came primarily from house party/bbq's and rec league sports. I met a lot of girls playing sand volleyball and softball. I also met a lot of ladies through mutual friends at house parties where it is a little more intimate and their guard is down compared to a bar.

people tend to get married earlier in the midwest but there are still a lot of single ppl in their 20-30s. Then after they get divorced (just kidding) they are single again in their 30-50s.

GraniteStater · 12-28-2009, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bocifus

people tend to get married earlier in the midwest .

That is definitely the case. Most people there seem to get married right out of college or before. In other parts of the country that is much less true.

TabulaRasa · 12-30-2009, 08:01 PM

Very, very common in the midwest. Particularly common in small towns, such as the area I was raised in, but also not uncommon in urban/suburban areas. The bulk of the people I have met in my age group (early thirties) since moving to the KC area who are single are newly single after the demise of their young, "starter" marriages. I was surprised, I had previously assumed that the just-out-of-high-school-or-during-undergrad marriage was more specific to much smaller towns, as was my experience with peers growing up. Not so, apparently.

GT500 · 01-05-2010, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bocifus

I think KC has an under-rated singles scene. There are a lot of ways to meet ppl and I think ppl here are very friendly.

My success in KC came primarily from house party/bbq's and rec league sports. I met a lot of girls playing sand volleyball and softball. I also met a lot of ladies through mutual friends at house parties where it is a little more intimate and their guard is down compared to a bar.

people tend to get married earlier in the midwest but there are still a lot of single ppl in their 20-30s. Then after they get divorced (just kidding) they are single again in their 30-50s.

Once again, not everyone has the time to play rec league sports. Also, I've met some ladies at my friends house parties, but most of them not looking to date. College house parties maybe a different story since all kinds of girls usually show up...LOL...

I don't know but I think KC is a very conservative place when it comes to dating.

TabulaRasa · 01-06-2010, 11:07 AM

If the reason you don't date is because you don't have time to go out and put yourself where people are, though, it's hardly the fault of the population of the city. If you want to meet people/date, you have to MAKE the time to be out and about, in the real world (i.e. not school, where there's a ready-made peer group that will come to you by design, due to house parties, shared social and academic activities, etc.). That's not specific to KC, that's everywhere. You have to be proactive in meeting people, especially once you are out of the school bubble.