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So it seems that there must be a decreasing amount of new stay-at-home moms on LI ...
All of the calculations for the income needed to buy on LI nowadays include the combined income of both partners ... but my husband and I are in our early 30's and want to buy and have a family ASAP ...
I dont want to have a child and then throw my new baby into childcare after 3 months of FMLA!
It saddens me that my husband and I make 120K combined but it seems that living on one income is an impossibility ... I want to at least stay home for at least the first 5 years of my kids' lives.
This is a huge quality of life issue ... Is everyone here now forced to outsource their child-raising here ? This makes me very sad since both my husband and I grew up in Nassau County and our families are here...It would be absolutely painful to leave but I absolutely do not want to miss out on being home with my children, playing, laughing, doing crafts and running around with them. Life is too short.
So it seems that there must be a decreasing amount of new stay-at-home moms on LI ...
All of the calculations for the income needed to buy on LI nowadays include the combined income of both partners ... but my husband and I are in our early 30's and want to buy and have a family ASAP ...
I dont want to have a child and then throw my new baby into childcare after 3 months of FMLA!
It saddens me that my husband and I make 120K combined but it seems that living on one income is an impossibility ... I want to at least stay home for at least the first 5 years of my kids' lives.
This is a huge quality of life issue ... Is everyone here now forced to outsource their child-raising here ? This makes me very sad since both my husband and I grew up in Nassau County and our families are here...It would be absolutely painful to leave but I absolutely do not want to miss out on being home with my children, playing, laughing, doing crafts and running around with them. Life is too short.
If your husband can keep his NY Metro salary and move to a low cost of living region it sounds like a no brainer. Unfortunately most give up a big percentage of their salary when moving to a lower cost area, leaving them in the same debt to income range. Single earner households are the exception to the rule all over the country, not just LI.
My older kids are in 3rd-4th grade and my youngest is in kindergarten. There is a big difference in whether moms are working just in that short of a time span. Most of the moms of my older kids' classmates are stay-at-home-moms and most of the moms of my daughter's classmates are working at least part time. The ones with the older kids have lived in their houses longer and the ones in my daughter's class are much newer to town. So, yes - I believe that you will see more and more moms working and more and more kids being taken care of by someone other than their parents.
I will also say, though, that with the economy in the crapper, I know a lot of ladies who are looking to go back to work, and can't get a job. If you choose to be a stay at home mom, keep up your licenses, continuing education, networking - whatever is approriate for your industry, because you never know when you might want or need to go back to work. I'm glad I did - it's been easy for me to find work when I've wanted to over the last 8 years.
I think that stay at home moms have been the exception rather than the rule on most of LI for the good part of about 15 years.
Day care has it's pluses..the minuses are obvious, you have someone else with your kid for, in my case, 5 hours a day 5 days a week for about 40 weeks per year.
The pluses are that my son was/is ahead of many kids with stay at home moms when it comes to potty training, sharing, following directions in a school setting, and a few other things. A friend of my wifes just put her son in preschool at the age of 4, and he is having trouble adjusting from being the center of attention to having to socially interact with other kids and not be "the king".
In the end it's about the individual kid and how they are raised, but day care (not babysitting) in a quality setting can be beneficial. Personally, we had our son at home with one of us until he was about 8 months...my wife for the first 4, me the next 3 working part time and getting a little help from the grandparents.
A bunch of our friends had both sets of grandparents willing to rotate watching the kids week to week, which saved them thousands and thousands of $$$, but not everyone has that luxury...either because the grandparents aren't close or aren't willing to do it..or maybe they are working themselves.
This is a huge quality of life issue ... Is everyone here now forced to outsource their child-raising here ? This makes me very sad since both my husband and I grew up in Nassau County and our families are here...It would be absolutely painful to leave but I absolutely do not want to miss out on being home with my children, playing, laughing, doing crafts and running around with them. Life is too short.
This is exactly what I've been complaining about... take notice of many of the big LI supporters on this board - the ones who talk about "all the things LI has to offer". RAH RAH GO TEAM LI - They don't have kids... or they bought a home 8/10/15 years ago. Before anyone jumps on this - I'm not saying ALL, but I know many of the RAH RAH team aren't raising kids here.
For me (and a very large majority of folks) it simply comes down to raising a family and LI is not cutting it anymore... Take your pick: it's the ridiculous home prices, or the ridiculous taxes, or the gangs, or the heroin, or the Eastern migration crush that's making traffic worse then ever - just SOME of the main topics from recent posts here.
There are SERIOUS, SERIOUS long term implications here for the middle class who want to raise a family. None of the "LI offerings" come close to offsetting the problems... The key is no kids and/or having the luck/smarts/insight to have made your house purchase a long while ago and sticking to that home.
The 75 year old infastructure needs to be improved, and the unnecessary dependence of people communting an hour into manhattan to take a subway up to an office just to sit on a computer all day needs to go.
AMEN! My commute from Babylon to my office in Hell's Kitchen took over 90 minutes, often closer to two hours on most days between the train being late and the 1.3 mile walk as the subway didn't really get me much closer--so I could sit at a computer. Best part was that when I had some surgery, I worked at home doing the very same stuff. But, you know, people don't trust telecommuters. They think telecommuters goof off and don't take into account that the work is actually getting done.
But, you know, people don't trust telecommuters. They think telecommuters goof off and don't take into account that the work is actually getting done.
THis is such a NY thing. I used to work for a nationwide company and everywhere else people telecommuted. We had laptops, but we weren't allowed to bring them home. It was pretty strange. They just didn't trust us. BUt if you lived in Ohio or Texas or Minnesota or anywhere else it was A-OK.
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