Dating in LA, late 30's...Best way to meet someone? (Los Angeles: neighborhoods, gated)

[disgruntled la native]

Originally Posted by MordinSolus

I think all of you guys saying every woman in Los Angeles is a shallow gold digger are just deluding yourselves because you strike out a lot.

I've never dated a woman so I wouldn't know. But one may have a girlfriend due to having wealth.

[radiolibre99]

Originally Posted by MordinSolus

I think all of you guys saying every woman in Los Angeles is a shallow gold digger are just deluding yourselves because you strike out a lot.

A lot of LA women are transplants and didn't move all the way from Anytown, USA to be with a regular joe like they could've back home. I don't blame them. Here in LA commonality of interests and goals is a big thing. The standards are just a little higher here.

[StreetLegal]

Originally Posted by radiolibre99

A lot of LA women are transplants and didn't move all the way from Anytown, USA to be with a regular joe like they could've back home. I don't blame them. Here in LA commonality of interests and goals is a big thing. The standards are just a little higher here.

I hate to throw my hometown under the bus but many of the comments in this thread are true. Not all women in LA are like this but there is enough fame and wealth in this town to jade quite a few. This is a true story: about 10 years ago I was working at a company (non-entertainment related) in Beverly Hills. A woman who worked there was dating a big time actor (as in Academy Award winning actor). She was by all means very average looking. He bought her a couple of cars as gifts. I recall her stating, "Now that I've dated a rich guy I'll never date a guy who doesn't make a lot of money." This particular woman was a transplant from another state.

[kasuga888]

I think both guys and ladies are looking for mates above their "level". This seems to happen more often in any of the bigger city where people are exposed to more beautiful and wealthy people all around.

[radiolibre99]

Originally Posted by kasuga888

I think both guys and ladies are looking for mates above their "level". This seems to happen more often in any of the bigger city where people are exposed to more beautiful and wealthy people all around.

Very true. That pretty much sums it up.

[ElysianEagle]

TL;DR: unless you're exceptionally handsome or have a lot of friends that can introduce you to women, don't get your hopes up for a stellar dating life. I'm not implying that you can't meet anyone here - ppl do hook up and date in LA, after all - just that it may behoove you to keep your expectations realistic.

Here's my take on the OP's query:

Dating once you get past the age of 30 is generally more difficult, because the pool of available candidates is not only smaller, but said candidates tend to be more set in their ways and often have very narrowly defined preferences.

I've spent about 12 yrs or so off and on in LA, and I've had (and still have) numerous guy friends in their 30s. I have yet to meet a guy in his 30s or beyond claiming that dating in LA is easy. Btw, these are regular guys who take care of themselves, live on their own in nice areas and pull in decent incomes. To a person, they all complain about having to go dateless for weeks (and sometimes even months) on end. My own experience unfortunately hasn't been much better =/

FWIW, I don't think the reason is that all the women are golddiggers looking for their next meal ticket. I think the real issue is that compared to, say, NYC or even SF, there just aren't that many opportunities to meet people "out and about" in LA. When I lived in NYC, the happy hour scene was huge, and you could always head to any of the gazillion bars in the city after work and chat up women. Summers were especially amazing (Bryant Park, anyone?). Good luck finding a scene like that in LA. Sure, there's plenty of bars that offer happy hour specials, but because most everyone has a long commute ahead, it's just not much of a thing here. My buddies and I would also routinely meet girls on the subway, the landromat, the cafe, waiting for the bus etc. etc. While there are cafes aplenty here, there's just not much of a cafe scene so you can't rely on that as a means to meet women. The subway (and any public transportation) is more or less out the picture too.

Bookstores and libraries are dying, so it's unlikely you'll have much luck there. And most social events start at 6 or 7 pm, so unless you live or work close by, you'll have to battle rush hour traffic to get to them or forego them entirely. This has consistently annoyed me over the years - cool events that either start too early after work or are held in places too far away from where I live/work.

For someone new to the city, then, that leaves mainly: online dating (OLD), meetups, and nightlife avenues. OLD and nightlife will only really work if you're exceptionally good looking (money may help, but looks definitely come first) OR you lower/abandon your standards, while the social meetups are already heavily saturated with men.

Good luck and welcome to LA!

[Prius07]

Originally Posted by ElysianEagle

TL;DR: unless you're exceptionally handsome or have a lot of friends that can introduce you to women, don't get your hopes up for a stellar dating life. I'm not implying that you can't meet anyone here - ppl do hook up and date in LA, after all - just that it may behoove you to keep your expectations realistic.

Here's my take on the OP's query:

Dating once you get past the age of 30 is generally more difficult, because the pool of available candidates is not only smaller, but said candidates tend to be more set in their ways and often have very narrowly defined preferences.

I've spent about 12 yrs or so off and on in LA, and I've had (and still have) numerous guy friends in their 30s. I have yet to meet a guy in his 30s or beyond claiming that dating in LA is easy. Btw, these are regular guys who take care of themselves, live on their own in nice areas and pull in decent incomes. To a person, they all complain about having to go dateless for weeks (and sometimes even months) on end. My own experience unfortunately hasn't been much better =/

FWIW, I don't think the reason is that all the women are golddiggers looking for their next meal ticket. I think the real issue is that compared to, say, NYC or even SF, there just aren't that many opportunities to meet people "out and about" in LA. When I lived in NYC, the happy hour scene was huge, and you could always head to any of the gazillion bars in the city after work and chat up women. Summers were especially amazing (Bryant Park, anyone?). Good luck finding a scene like that in LA. Sure, there's plenty of bars that offer happy hour specials, but because most everyone has a long commute ahead, it's just not much of a thing here. My buddies and I would also routinely meet girls on the subway, the landromat, the cafe, waiting for the bus etc. etc. While there are cafes aplenty here, there's just not much of a cafe scene so you can't rely on that as a means to meet women. The subway (and any public transportation) is more or less out the picture too.

Bookstores and libraries are dying, so it's unlikely you'll have much luck there. And most social events start at 6 or 7 pm, so unless you live or work close by, you'll have to battle rush hour traffic to get to them or forego them entirely. This has consistently annoyed me over the years - cool events that either start too early after work or are held in places too far away from where I live/work.

For someone new to the city, then, that leaves mainly: online dating (OLD), meetups, and nightlife avenues. OLD and nightlife will only really work if you're exceptionally good looking (money may help, but looks definitely come first) OR you lower/abandon your standards, while the social meetups are already heavily saturated with men.

Good luck and welcome to LA!

Thanks for the time to write and welcoming me to LA!!!
I guess the million dollar question is how you define exceptionally handsome?

[hipcat]

Stay away from the Westside/Hollywood scenes. Those are the type of women who are just looking to date "up" in terms of looks, industry connections,wealth, and not settle for regular guy.

If you like Latinas. Its going to difficult to find a single Latina in her 30's, as most are locked up in thier

And for a large city. LA is an insular/cliquish city where it's hard to meet women in bars, coffeeshops, clubs etc. I get that feeling every time Im out at the nightlife.

The easiest women to talk to and date have been in suburban areas like The SF Valley, Pasadena Area, The South Bay, Long Beach area. The entertainment industry influence is non-existent, so the women will be more down to earth.

[Prius07]

Originally Posted by hipcat

The easiest women to talk to and date have been in suburban areas like The SF Valley, Pasadena Area, The South Bay, Long Beach area. The entertainment industry influence is non-existent, so the women will be more down to earth.

I guess one more reason to live in, or close to Redondo Beach. Hopefully, the girls there will not be that "stiff."

[SUPbud]

Originally Posted by Prius07

I guess one more reason to live in, or close to Redondo Beach. Hopefully, the girls there will not be that "stiff."

Redondo's a little more a "family" beach. Migrate your social life activities a little more north to Hermosa. Wander out on Pier Ave, you'll eventually strike up a conversation with somebody. Just steer clear of my sister.

Welcome! No place I'd rather be, despite what the Haters may say.