Making Friends in Los Angeles (Santa Monica, Laton: vs, store, train)

[Tex?Il?]

Originally Posted by Spikett

I actually have the opposite experience. I'm from Nasvhille, TN and had a hard time finding female friends to do things with because the common thing was for women to marry young and start a family - so they didn't really have time for anything else. We'd be friends at work, but their evenings and weekends were family oriented (or spent with women who also had kids). When I moved to LA I immediately met women (at work) who were single and had no kids. Even if they had regular boyfriends, they still went out with the girls and all. After 18 years in LA, I constantly meet new friends. And the vast majority of these folks aren't from LA so there is no long history from high school, etc. But you have to get out. There are so many opportunities to meet people - so many activities, clubs, classes and groups. I know it can be hard to do so find a group/activity that you really enjoy and just do if for fun and relax.

Exactly. Great post.

[Tex?Il?]

Originally Posted by taydigga

Shoot there's a lot of pocket neighborhoods in West LA that are quiet and midwesternish. Go to culver city, hang out in palms, rancho park, cheviot hills and etc., that's what I love about LA, turn a corner and it might not be big cityish anymore.

agreed, all those neighborhoods do have some streets of nice SFHs for sure, but they are a mix of urban and suburban. Especially downtown Culver which is hoppin. Palms is mostly apartments, and Cheviot Hills is definitely the most suburban of that group.

[taydigga]

Originally Posted by stephei2000

Where can you go to places after college regularly run into people over and over other than work or maybe church even the grocery store. I have been to meetup but you tend not to see the same people over and over again at least that how it is in Chicago. Is it the same in L.A?

Sorry I just saw this. Join something besides meetup. I run with a marathon training coach and there's a group of us, I also periodically run with Nikestore run clubs (Beverly Hills mainly but Santa Monica also) and and developed a great friendship there. But you can do yoga, cooking class, or something like that. Find something that people dedicate themselves to and it'll be easy. You don't have to be super outgoing but just be a positive person. I'm introverted but I smile and when people talk to me, I talk back and that's all you really need to do.

[taydigga]

Originally Posted by Tex?Il?

agreed, all those neighborhoods do have some streets of nice SFHs for sure, but they are a mix of urban and suburban. Especially downtown Culver which is hoppin. Palms is mostly apartments, and Cheviot Hills is definitely the most suburban of that group.

Yeah, it's midwesternish...but still urban. you're right, i mean mainly a couple streets or blocks, you can turn the corner again and be right back in traffic city! LOL! Over hear where I work is cool too, I work in between little Santa Monica and Pico with Beverly Glen and Westwood bordering the east/west parts. Very chill SFH neighborhood. A little to soccer mommish for me but a lost of people love it. In fact the sticky on top of this forum (Los Angeles) starts off with picks of this neighborhood.

[TurcoLoco]

I have summarized the key to "making friends anywhere" to the following:
- Be active; go out and participate in events as much as you can
- Make and effort to interact with people; take time to talk/listen to them, in most cases saying "Hi" with a sincere smile is all you need to get the ball rolling

[SunnyTXsmile]

Originally Posted by TurcoLoco

I have summarized the key to "making friends anywhere" to the following:
- Be active; go out and participate in events as much as you can
- Make and effort to interact with people; take time to talk/listen to them, in most cases saying "Hi" with a sincere smile is all you need to get the ball rolling

I was going to say the exact same thing. I've moved a ton to drastically different cities, and the winning formula is always the same.

[stephei2000]

Originally Posted by taydigga

Sorry I just saw this. Join something besides meetup. I run with a marathon training coach and there's a group of us, I also periodically run with Nikestore run clubs (Beverly Hills mainly but Santa Monica also) and and developed a great friendship there. But you can do yoga, cooking class, or something like that. Find something that people dedicate themselves to and it'll be easy. You don't have to be super outgoing but just be a positive person. I'm introverted but I smile and when people talk to me, I talk back and that's all you really need to do.

Thanks for the reply! This makes so much sense. I think the problem is after college I have found anything that I was dedicated to except modeling, promotions, and making money lol which I did meet some people from there. However that was work and I am not in the business currently. I would go to something only once and then never go back.

I even tried a dance classes. I love dance and did that for four to five years, but the adult classes were more drop in so it was different people every week with a different routine which I became frustrated because I have to do something numerous times to master it.

So with the running groups do people go over and over again? I just have a hard time doing something or going to something over and over again even if I like it because I am become bored.

[stephei2000]

Originally Posted by TurcoLoco

I have summarized the key to "making friends anywhere" to the following:
- Be active; go out and participate in events as much as you can
- Make and effort to interact with people; take time to talk/listen to them, in most cases saying "Hi" with a sincere smile is all you need to get the ball rolling

I get nervous about that thinking I would get rejected. Honestly, I know you say this can happen anywhere, but think people are way more laid back in California meaning you can start random conversations versus Chicago where everyone is on the defense.

I think in smaller and laid back places this could work as I start many conversations when I am in the suburbs or other laid back areas.

In Chicago, you might smile and get a smile back but then it is pretty much over from there. Everyone at least where I live on the northside is young, looking at their phones and is pretty much aloof.

I like the energy of living in the city vs the suburbs, but the whole you will meet more people seems like and overhyped urban city myth. Unless you count dating random guys which I can say I have been hit on much more than when I was in the suburbs.

But currently, I am looking for more friendships at this point in my life.

[Fontucky]

Originally Posted by stephei2000

I just have a hard time doing something or going to something over and over again even if I like it because I am become bored.

Might be part of the answer you're seeking...

[TurcoLoco]

Originally Posted by stephei2000

I get nervous about that thinking I would get rejected. Honestly, I know you say this can happen anywhere, but think people are way more laid back in California meaning you can start random conversations versus Chicago where everyone is on the defense.

I honestly thought you were a guy when I saw your user icon and read the above bold line. Then noticed the following line:

Unless you count dating random guys which I can say I have been hit on much more than when I was in the suburbs.

Then I said to myself, "Yeah, a gay guy would probably have much better chance in LA, especially on the West side". Then saw your profile picture and felt like an idiot! You are a lady and a young, nice looking one too! So, what the heck is your problem? If guys in Chi-Town do not know what to do when they see or meet a nice girl then perhaps you should move to LA!

OK, I was joking a bit. I don't feel I am qualified to give an expert opinion on anything but more so to a young lady living in Chicago on how to meet people and make friends.
But know this, everyone gets nervous when they see someone they like so talking with that person will naturally be a challenge but you have to make an attempt. If you smile at the guy/girl and they smile back that is step #1. Sadly, most people (male/female) break the eye contact when they get nervous. They turn their head even before giving a smile. That is unwise and in most cases, a dead stop but majority of the people, especially those who lack confidence do this and the other person thinks "Oh, s/he didn't care for me/like my looks....oh well...". I saw your picture, you are not ugly. So, if you look at a guy and he immediately turns his head without smiling, my guess is (assuming he is not with his girlfriend or wife) he got nervous and didn't know what to do. Typical sign of lack of confidence because if he was confident, even if he didn't care for you, he would be likely to smile back at least and then move on.
If he liked you, a confident guy would keep the eye contact, then smile/smile back, then say something, anything to get the ball rolling.

But currently, I am looking for more friendships at this point in my life.

Friendship with the opposite sex? My opinion on this is same as Billy Crystal's character in the movie When Harry Met Sally but who knows? You really need to go out and mingle with people.
I am not as young and as energetic as I once was but once in a while I still get the urge to chat with people, random people and have no trouble doing so.
Other times, just like most people, I create excuses not to put in the effort then whine like the rest of them losers, get me?
One thing for sure, it is easier to make excuses than make an effort. No one wants to take risks then they whine about it blaming other people, the city they live in, etc.

Stop blaming the city you live in or the other people. You have not met everyone in Chicago.
Realize you are fabricating these obstacles in your mind before you even do anything. Do not be negative, be positive and energetic. Negativity will come through your face and voice even if you were putting on a fake smile!

Again, don't get nervous, be yourself and remember, meeting people and making friends supposed to be fun!

Originally Posted by Fontucky

Might be part of the answer you're seeking...

I noticed that too and I think you are right. She talked about the energy of living the city but for some reason it sounded like she lacked that energy herself. I couldn't tell if she was saying that as an excuse for lack of success, as a cover-up or if she really got bored quickly indeed. If it is the latter, then she'll need to hang out with circus clowns or something.