East Coast to West Coast--how long before you assimilated? (Corona: mobile home, living in)

[DawnW]

You know, the fact of the matter is....some people just prefer different areas.

I am missing California so bad right now and can't wait to get back!

DH has told me he doesn't mind moving back necessarily, but he hates LA. So, we are trying to find a compromise, but in CA.

I am on the East Coast right now and it just really will never feel like "home" to me! CA is home!!!!

Dawn

[JerZ]

I completely hear you, DawnW. That's it exactly...you hit the nail on the head. I hope you get back to CA soon and feel like home again.

[JerZ]

ChoclateTae,

Since you already know that you're not going to be missing certain things--like the seasons--I think your chances are MUCH better than mine of assimilating very quickly! I think based on what you posted that you will be one of the people who love it here. Good luck with your move.

[vivo]

Originally Posted by JerZ

Okay, hmm, well, let's see.

Not all of these things will seem good or bad to everyone. They're just differences. To me, I can see both good and bad, to both NJ and SoCal.

One thing that's good is that the people do seem at least outwardly more friendly here. Significantly so. You don't have to pack your own groceries...the checkers run to help you. You'll always get a smile when you buy something or talk to anyone on the street. You'll always get a wave "hello" if you take a walk, and this from strangers. Kids as well. Keep in mind that I'm not in the city. I'm out in the suburbs. I don't know if it's different in LA "proper".

The mountains are neat to see in LA. I mean you're driving through the city and there's this backdrop of mountains. Tall mountains. Eight thousand feet...nine...maybe more. That part is very cool.

Now, there's not the "historical" vibe here (even though LA surely has as old a history as the east coast). Whereas you get that sense of charm on the east coast, the charm and "hominess" and "old family"-ness and all that of the east coast is missing out here. Or at least as I see things.

Homes here can be beautiful, but tend to be, again, less charming. You tend to see more "cookie cutter" "oh, here's another one-story Spanish style ranch" home out here. There's much more individuality that way on the east coast. *Again*...keep in mind I'm comparing suburbs to suburbs.

Home prices in general in LA are higher than home prices in general in New Jersey...yes, even more pricey than Ramsey. (Which I almost wouldn't have thought possible...) The difficulty here is that salaries are *not* significantly higher than NY/NJ.

The weather is nice here, of course...except for five blistering months a year...yeowch. (In NY/NY, you might get a blistering 100-degree one or two or three weeks.) It's much less muggy...but definitely much more air polluted. There are a lot of "hazy" days here. That's air pollution, sadly. That's not to say there haven't been a lot of clean-air initiatives in SoCal in the past 30-odd years, just as there were tons of clean-water and clean-soil initiatives in NJ in the past 30-odd years.

You won't be able to get directly from anywhere to anywhere here. You're used to public transportation...extremely complete, every-9-minutes, available 24 hours transportation. There's a reason they say "nobody walks in LA" or "everybody drives in LA". Everybody DOES drive in LA. Okay, not every single person, obviously! ETA: SoCal natives will tell you, "there are buses all over the place! And there's the MetroLink..." I am here to tell you that unless one has lived in the northeast, one doesn't know what being able to obtain transportation at literally any time day or night in any area really is. Again, not good, not bad, just a difference that WILL surprise you.

Back to the weather, it definitely is temperate and predictable MUCH more so than the northeast, and of course there's no snow, sleet, ice to drive in. It's so awesome to be able to predict that you WILL go for a hike this weekend, or you CAN have your child's birthday party out doors next month...with a 90% degree of accuracy. There is much less of a rhythm, there's no expectation of changing seasons, and there's much less "seasonal" stress on holidays. Again, some might consider this good, some bad and some neutral. It leaves me very lonely and very off-rhythm. But being able to take walks for 7 months of the year certainly is nice.

There's lots to do here. But you generally feel very "sterile" and "far from" nature. My husband always says, "Oh, we can drive to our seasons! If we want snow, we can drive to a mountain and then come back home that night." Great for some, weird for others. Actually, a lot of people must feel the way my husband does because I hear this type of comment a lot. So you might feel the same way too.

The vibe: totally different...100% different...I can't explain how. Definitely completely different, which is why I was surprised that you said you thought LA must be like NJ.

Hope all that helps...maybe someone else who has lived in both places can give some input.

public trans in nyc seems good. subway at least in boston and dc is good. no first hand experience with boston or philly's system. philly's i don't think is good. baltimore's sucks. not sure whether u consider bmore or dc northeast.

[dogmom]

JerZ...are you getting more used to CA? I think part of the problem is that you live in San Dimas...we lived in Claremont and are now in southern Utah since hubby retired...long story...anyway, we are born and raised in SoCal and there wasn't much to do out that way, as far as museums, nightlife, etc. You are right, though, about the schools, assuming you are in Bonita district..I worked in Covina-Valley district for years, my sons graduated from Northview...we moved to Claremont from Covina when the younger one was a junior (he is now 27) but he continued at Northview since I worked there..I digress..

Anyway, don't know if you discovered this, but from early Sept - on head out to Oak Glen, east of Redlands, for apple picking. It's beautiful..trees are turning colors, lots of fall flavor there..my boys used to love it when they were younger.

Claremont has tons of east coast flavor..the older homes, the trees, the great downtown.. not so many cookie cutter homes..La Verne also has a wonderful older area south of foothill..and I don't know where in San Dimas you are, but I love San Dimas Ave north of Arrow...wonderful charm.

I am finding out living here that home is where you make it. Two years is about the right amount of time to find your 'spot'. I hated it here until about 6 months ago...we have been making friends now that have things in common with us (they are from southern CA) so it is smoothing out. I was so homesick, I so regretted selling the Claremont home. I still miss the area..Feel free to chat with me anytime..I know your area like the back of my hand....

Have a great day!

[lrmsd]

Originally Posted by transcontinental

I grew up in NJ and moved to LA over a year ago. I can say that once the "honeymoon" stage was over and I saw the real LA, it started me thinking. LA is really F*d up, but not more than NJ or any other huge population center. I lived in Hudson county, which is just like LA, but with winter and no palm trees, and better mass transit.

I find that LA can be great if you want it to be. I have tons of people I left behind in NJ, but I took a risk and made a move many of them will never have the guts to do. In that move I gained great perspective and I feel that I have a broader view of things.

Sure, there are things I hate about LA, like "lifted" pickup trucks. Seriously, this is a something I just can't understand, especially with gas prices being so high here. People here also speed and tailgate WAYYYY to much, which really makes me question the collective IQ of this area. And there is scribble on everything you look at.

However, there are palm trees. The people are generally nicer. Even though most people can't drive well here, the majority use their turn signals, and more people here let you in a lane than in NJ.

There are numerous job possibilities here in MANY different industries. We may have more illeagals here, but look how close we are to the border. Go to Union City NJ, you won't hear English there either. People complain about the gangs here, which are many, but drive through Newark or Camden at 3am.

LA doesn't have seasons. New Jersey has seasons, yet much of the year looks like June gloom without vegetation. It's all relative.

If you love NJ and can't stand being away, move back. It's not the worst thing in the world and if it means you will be happy, go for it, no one will think less of you for it.

I have my moods too, when I think LA sucks and I want to move back. But then I usually try to focus on the positives and the opportunity that is here. I also don't mind renting right now with the insane house prices here.

Still though, if I had kids, that LAUSD scares me... There are MANY towns in NJ with GREAT school districts and "affordable" housing.

I wish you luck with whatever you decide on.

If you had kids,then you would just drive two hours south and live in san diego.(: I am also from the east coast [boston area],have lived in CA for ten years total-sfo and sd-and no cal seems a happy medium for me. some vibe and culture/buildings like NE-sort of-but still with the more laid back CA vibe and openess that I love about CA. Less steeped in tradition is what i love about CA. It's so unencumbered. It's also what I have missed about the NE at times-esp the holidays.

No Cal has seasons,at least.
Also,with so cal-sd county you can be in snow in less than an hour,certain times of the year-go up to the mountains if you can and have some change of leaves,cool air,rain and snow. that helps.

overall,having lived also in co and mt states,CA is home to me-even if i dont fit in. i dont think i could live back in NE now,even while raising children,which would be a great place to do it.

I am sure alof of folks have similar experiences as the OP,so i figured i'd add to this thread even though it's a few years old...

[VAborn&bred]

I know this is an oldish thread; but it struck a very sympathetic chord in me. I have been visiting CA (I'm from the East coast), trying to get a feel for whether or not I could live here (I have family on both coasts).

But... the lack of four seasons, the differentness of the vegetation (palm trees next to evergreens next to eucalyptus next to cacti - some trees retaining their leaves through the year, etc.); that loss of the feel of tall, deciduous trees crowding around you; the stucco homes & bland architecture... it feels kind of foreign and, yes, "non-home-y" to me.

I think that when you are raised in the East, its seasonal rhythms and ecology become a part of you - perhaps even an unconscious part of you - such that it's hard not to get at least some snow in the winter (the muted FEEL & hush of winter); a true rebirth in spring (forsythia, crocuses, bright green buds everywhere, etc.); swampy summers full of the noise of insects in the grass, water, and forests, and punctuated by thunderstorms; the autumnal colors and FEEL and smell of autumn; etc. And, yes, I think the holidays do resonate the more because they are tied to a particular season & atmosphere.

I think one can find happiness anywhere; but I am missing the East (I may change my mind when I move back there, who knows). The OP's post definitely struck a sympathetic chord in me. It's a different atmosphere out West.

If my core family were here in CA, though, I would likely stick around here; but most of my roots and family are on the East coast. So, I will be returning East. (I am not dissing the West at all - it's just that it's different from what I'm used to, and when you're born & bred somewhere, that place tends to stick with you, I believe - at least for many people it does.)

[Fontucky]

Nothing wrong with missing home, wherever that may be.

[Jay100]

The OP sounds like a "Snooki" (Jersey Shore)type chick. I just can't see her being happy in San Dimas.

[readymade]

It took me 6 months of living in LA to stop being homesick for Boston. And a year in total for it to feel more like "home." I lived in SoCal for 8 years. My husband & I moved away for various reasons. Now we're living back in Boston and we're totally homesick for LA. We're moving back this fall.

As for east coasters being more "real" than people on the west coast (which I've heard a LOT)... I haven't found that to be true, at all. More rude? Definitely. But being abrupt, cold, & rude doesn't make you more "real," in my opinion. I can't wait to go back to SoCal.