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If you need someone to commiserate with, maybe what a depressed person needs is another depressed person.
Some things, similar, to think about:
You just got your first DUI, you're crushed/depressed about it, who do you turn to for comfort? Someone who's never gotten a DUI, who's more than likely going to say: You know the laws, you shouldn't have been drinking and driving!
You just lost your job, you're crushed/depressed about, who do you turn to for comfort? Someone who's never been fired, never lost their job?
You just lost your home to a foreclosure. Who do you turn to for comfort? Your next door neighbor who has his house paid off?
Your son/daughter screwed up royally, ended up in prison. Who do you turn for comfort? Someone who doesn't have children? Someone who's children have never screwed up? Or, do you go to a gathering of Friends and Family of the Incarcerated?
And when I'm depressed, whom do I turn to?
As to responding to depressed people you merely use honesty, and don't feel an iota of guilt if they try to lay a guilt trip on you for lacking any commiseration. I have friends who never get depressed, optimists to the core, I understand them, don't turn to them when I'm depressed, as I wisely know you can't squeeze blood out of a turnip!
If I encounter a person suffering from depression I usually say there are three things you need to do right now EAT, SLEEP and HYGIENE. That's enough right now. And then I start to talk about medications and are they working etc. I agree it's kinda hard to relate especially to depression if you haven't suffered from it.
If I encounter a person suffering from depression I usually say there are three things you need to do right now EAT, SLEEP and HYGIENE. That's enough right now. And then I start to talk about medications and are they working etc. I agree it's kinda hard to relate especially to depression if you haven't suffered from it.
Yes, and often, people suffering from long-term chronic clinical (not episodal) depression want to sleep all day and overeat. Telling them to sleep and eat is counter-productive. Also, if you're not a licensed medical professional, or a pharmacist, then you have no business telling someone who's depressed about their medications. Further, if you don't know -that- particular person's experiences with depression and medication history, then you could be advising them into suicide.
What works for one person doesn't work for another. And giving advice about a medication to someone who is *this close* to purposely ODing on drugs, but hasn't mentioned that to you...is a dangerous and irresponsible thing to do.
People coming to laymen about their depression aren't looking for advice. They're not looking for the layman to help cure their depression. They're looking for something else. That's why I started this thread. Not to learn how to be someone's psychiatrist. But to be a "soft place to fall" for those who (for whatever reason) have picked me as their pillow of the day.
Yes, and often, people suffering from long-term chronic clinical (not episodal) depression want to sleep all day and overeat. Telling them to sleep and eat is counter-productive. Also, if you're not a licensed medical professional, or a pharmacist, then you have no business telling someone who's depressed about their medications. Further, if you don't know -that- particular person's experiences with depression and medication history, then you could be advising them into suicide.
What works for one person doesn't work for another. And giving advice about a medication to someone who is *this close* to purposely ODing on drugs, but hasn't mentioned that to you...is a dangerous and irresponsible thing to do.
People coming to laymen about their depression aren't looking for advice. They're not looking for the layman to help cure their depression. They're looking for something else. That's why I started this thread. Not to learn how to be someone's psychiatrist. But to be a "soft place to fall" for those who (for whatever reason) have picked me as their pillow of the day.
Since you are not interested in offering true sympathy, perhaps you should police yourself to not project the apprearance of caring, in whatever way you may be doing that. Are you bubbly and outgoing and thereby make people think you care about them? I had a friend like that years ago. She seemed so nice and warm and sympathetic. But it was merely superficial and she really only wanted attention for herself. Maybe you should ask yourself why you want to be the "pillow of the day."
Since you are not interested in offering true sympathy, perhaps you should police yourself to not project the apprearance of caring, in whatever way you may be doing that. Are you bubbly and outgoing and thereby make people think you care about them? I had a friend like that years ago. She seemed so nice and warm and sympathetic. But it was merely superficial and she really only wanted attention for herself. Maybe you should ask yourself why you want to be the "pillow of the day."
Perhaps you might read my posts in this thread. I'm not sure where you got the idea that I'm not interested in offering true sympathy, when I started out by stating - most emphatically - that I AM sympathetic to the problems of others.
Police myself not to project the appearance of caring? I'm not projecting anything. I AM caring. I'm not sure where you got the impression that I'm not. If I weren't caring, I wouldn't have wasted a moment's effort posting this thread.
I'm not bubbly, but I am outgoing. And as I've already said - which you apparently didn't notice or bother reading, I work in retail. It is MY JOB to care for my customers. That is partly what I get paid to do. It is a job requirement. I'm not allowed to project disinterest. I wouldn't project disinterest, and couldn't even if I wanted to - because - I am interested.
Maybe you should ask yourself why you have chosen to twist my posts to suite your agenda. I haven't said I -want- to be pillow of the day. I've said people with issues tend to gravitate toward me. This includes strangers, which I have already specified and clarified several times in this thread.
Try reading what I post, and responding to that, instead of reading what you want to assume about me and responding to the misinformation of your own creation.
Since you are not interested in offering true sympathy, perhaps you should police yourself to not project the apprearance of caring, in whatever way you may be doing that. Are you bubbly and outgoing and thereby make people think you care about them? I had a friend like that years ago. She seemed so nice and warm and sympathetic. But it was merely superficial and she really only wanted attention for herself. Maybe you should ask yourself why you want to be the "pillow of the day."
Yes. Alot of passive aggressive attitudes here.
Some people "are interested" and project their attitudes because it makes them feel superior to others.
This is easy to do for cowards on an internet forum, esp. on a mental health forum which isnt policed by an experienced, tactful psychologist with actual experience.
Yes, and often, people suffering from long-term chronic clinical (not episodal) depression want to sleep all day and overeat. Telling them to sleep and eat is counter-productive. Also, if you're not a licensed medical professional, or a pharmacist, then you have no business telling someone who's depressed about their medications. Further, if you don't know -that- particular person's experiences with depression and medication history, then you could be advising them into suicide.
What works for one person doesn't work for another. And giving advice about a medication to someone who is *this close* to purposely ODing on drugs, but hasn't mentioned that to you...is a dangerous and irresponsible thing to do.
People coming to laymen about their depression aren't looking for advice. They're not looking for the layman to help cure their depression. They're looking for something else. That's why I started this thread. Not to learn how to be someone's psychiatrist. But to be a "soft place to fall" for those who (for whatever reason) have picked me as their pillow of the day.
I'm not giving psychopharmaca advice just simply discussing have the medications helped, side effects etc! And I've seen ppl with severe depression who are not eating and sleeping. Which do you think puts a person faster to the grave hunger strike or gluttony?
Perhaps you might read my posts in this thread. I'm not sure where you got the idea that I'm not interested in offering true sympathy, when I started out by stating - most emphatically - that I AM sympathetic to the problems of others.
Police myself not to project the appearance of caring? I'm not projecting anything. I AM caring. I'm not sure where you got the impression that I'm not. If I weren't caring, I wouldn't have wasted a moment's effort posting this thread.
I'm not bubbly, but I am outgoing. And as I've already said - which you apparently didn't notice or bother reading, I work in retail. It is MY JOB to care for my customers. That is partly what I get paid to do. It is a job requirement. I'm not allowed to project disinterest. I wouldn't project disinterest, and couldn't even if I wanted to - because - I am interested.
Maybe you should ask yourself why you have chosen to twist my posts to suite your agenda. I haven't said I -want- to be pillow of the day. I've said people with issues tend to gravitate toward me. This includes strangers, which I have already specified and clarified several times in this thread.
Try reading what I post, and responding to that, instead of reading what you want to assume about me and responding to the misinformation of your own creation.
I did read all your posts. Go back and read your very first post. In it you sound very uncaring, but somehow interested in depressed people. It was an odd combination...
There is some reason depressed people are gravitating toward you. What is it? And why? This doesn't happen to many people. When I go into a retail store, I'm polite and friendly to the people working there, asking how they are , etc. But I would never discuss anything personal with that person. They are working and obviously don't have time for anything beyond mere chit chat.
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Give them a break
