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don't know how i missed this thread earlier... but glad i found it now....
holidays are tough for me, too.....
i am twice divorced and SO OVER that part of my life......
lost my dad suddenly and unexpectedly on 12/23/80 .... I was 20 years old..... his funeral was on 12/26......
my mom's favorite hoilday was always Thanksgiving, since her birthday was 11/23..... I lost her on 11/09/06.... well, I lost her physically that day.... I had lost "her" to multi-infarct dementia several years before that.....
my brother and i are not close and i live about 1000 miles from him anyway.....
i have a few friends here, all of us single.... we got together for Thanksgiving at one gal's house and had a nice time.... no pressure, no expectations.... just enjoying each other's company and some good food and nice wine....
three of us will go to the casino on Christmas day for Christmas lunch.... the restaurants there are the only ones open that day, other than some of the Chinese restaurants.....
i have not put up a tree for several years, although my housemate has put lights on the exterior of my house.....
i have NOT A CLUE what to get for anyone ..... and am thinking I may just donate to charities that recipients would appreciate.... most of us do NOT need more "shtuff" .... I know I don't......
Just talked to my brother, he said "no presents", I was like YAY!! I told him no decorations, just dinner with him, his wife, my Dad and I. I loved decorations when I was little and loved them because my Mom loved them and they are pretty. When i drive by houses that are "lit up", I think Happy!!
jasper12...Thanks for starting this thread and thanks for inviting me to "share" here..."Hi" to everyone!.. My son passed away in September and I'm going through the holiday season totally alone this year...Most of the time I try to stay "neutral" and don't play-up the fact that it's Christmas...It's been a struggle to get through each day anyway and I don't want to overwhelm myself right now..Sometimes my emotions get the best of me and I feel sad and cry for awhile. (And make it okay.)...But all in all I'm just trying to get back on my feet again and I don't want to open-up tons of "floodgates" quite yet. I'm just happy that I've been able to make it "this far" since my son (and everyone else in my family) passed away.
It is really weird, all these folks saying how hectic the holidays are, and "are you ready?". Ready for what? My kids are all grown. I have no other family, aside from a Mother who has never been normal.
Jasper, my cat, needs no gifts or a tree. We plan on just hanging out together on Christmas. And New Year's Eve.
I own no Christmas things, at all. Part of my "possession reduction plan". Getting all possessions down to what will fit in my cubby at the nursing home some day.
Very sorry to hear about your son... I remember back when he was going through treatment.. lost track of you on CD... I'm sure your emotions are all over the place at times. ((Hugs))
Stick to this thread for the holidays....we can help each other through. Jan 1 can't come soon enough for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona
jasper12...Thanks for starting this thread and thanks for inviting me to "share" here..."Hi" to everyone!.. My son passed away in September and I'm going through the holiday season totally alone this year...Most of the time I try to stay "neutral" and don't play-up the fact that it's Christmas...It's been a struggle to get through each day anyway and I don't want to overwhelm myself right now..Sometimes my emotions get the best of me and I feel sad and cry for awhile. (And make it okay.)...But all in all I'm just trying to get back on my feet again and I don't want to open-up tons of "floodgates" quite yet. I'm just happy that I've been able to make it "this far" since my son (and everyone else in my family) passed away.
Well... I admit to getting my cats new catnip and maybe a toy or two.
I have no decorations or tree. Except I have a conical-shaped evergreen in the atrium--- has little white lights but that stays year round....I got rid of all decorations and tree stuff when I moved out of state.
Christmas Eve can be rather special/soothing when you are alone--no frantic travel, no craziness, no arguments, etc. After I was first divorced, it was terribly hard...but now years later, all is ok.
Keep in touch everyone...
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
Sorry to hear that.
It is really weird, all these folks saying how hectic the holidays are, and "are you ready?". Ready for what? My kids are all grown. I have no other family, aside from a Mother who has never been normal.
Jasper, my cat, needs no gifts or a tree. We plan on just hanging out together on Christmas. And New Year's Eve.
I own no Christmas things, at all. Part of my "possession reduction plan". Getting all possessions down to what will fit in my cubby at the nursing home some day.
greatblueheron...Thanks for caring. How many cats do you have? I have one older cat who may not make it to Christmas but I hope he does. If he gets worse or starts to have pain I may have to put him to "sleep." So sad!..I don't know if I can take another death right now (and loss) but I don't really have control over any of it...Wish I did! All I can do is try to avoid going off the "deep end." And it's not always easy!
jasper12...I don't want to collect "new stuff" either...I just donated a lot of "stuff" to a local thrift store. And I sold some things to a friend who has a 2nd-hand store..These days I ask myself a lot of questions before I buy anything. (Even food at the grocery store.)...Having excess "stuff" or "stuff" I don't really need (or won't use) just complicates my life. Is this how you feel too?...Asking myself questions before a purchase helps me get to know myself better too. I'm not part of a "we" anymore. It's "just me" now.
this is the first year in many that I didn't even put out all my really pretty Fall/Thanksgiving decorations. Just not in the mood.
Probably won't do much with Christmas decor either.
People all around this area have Christmas lights and decorations up. That annoys me for some reason.
I think if each holiday progressed without the other holiday being pushed upon us, it might be more pleasurable. My emotional circuits seem to get on overload when Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas crap is one aisle over from the other beginning in September.
I'm not a foodie and I detest cooking. All around me are people talking about their meal plans and recipes and yadda yadda yadda ...............
I hope those excited about the holiday do enjoy it.
I'll enjoy doing zilch except maybe taking in a movie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ceg0720
Thank you. I will start collecting Social Security this month - not eligible for Medicare until next year ... the nurse practitioner has been good (they havent sent me a bill for the last two visits yet) ... gave me a supply of the benicor, I have a two years worth of the pravastatin and the other stuff she made sure were the 4 dollar ones (also gave me a supply of advair). My son works but it's only a part time job - he's been trying to make sure there is enough to pay the mortgage and some bills - have an er bill from last year that I've been trying to pay off at 20 a month .. I think the hardest thing with being unemployed is knowing that a majority of people are employed and going on with their lives ... and after so many applications and rejections you feel useless .. hope the anti-depressant kicks in soon so I have a better outlook on life ... I never thought of myself as old until now
I'm with you, Pip. I'm enjoying looking at others' lights but none for me. I've been buying on line for me!!! I'm all set and satisfied now. I'll be "doing" the tv and maybe a movie on my Kindle.
ceg, are you a AARP member yet? Your Medicare won't start for 2 years after you get on your disability. I know, I'm on SSDI also. AARP has cheap plans to cover medications. My meds went from a $20-$30 co-pay with my late husband's insurance to $5 and change with my AARP Rx plan...for two scripts! It's worth a look see into them if you want. Also, like Pippy suggested, some pharm companies will help you pay and sometimes give them to you for free.
Again, yesterday, people asked me if I am "ready" for the holidays. I guess so...
CA, sorry about your cat.
I did recently buy some Sorel snow boots. I hate being cold. A friend of mine slipped on black ice, she broke a hip, and is using a walker now. She is miserable now. That also propelled me to buy some heavy boots with thick tread.
A few more weeks...I am looking forward to the New Year...maybe I will set a few goals this year...
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