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Regardless of whether it is acknowledged or not, it is difficult to make friends here (MN) if you weren't born and/or raised here (MN). This is one of many threads on this issue - so I wont go into my experiences in detail, but I am always amused by how quickly the experience of so many people who have moved here and share similar experiences on this issue is discounted.
So I weigh in - Minnesota nice in my experience means that people are cordial, polite, but are very closed and not interested in genuinely getting to know you or share new experiences (such as becoming friends). Actually I find that there is nothing wrong with that - as long as they are willing to admit it. - where Im from they would tell you straight - but then there's no MN Nice there.
regardless of whether it is acknowledged or not, it is difficult to make friends here (mn) if you weren't born and/or raised here (mn).
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so i weigh in - minnesota nice in my experience means that people are cordial, polite, but are very closed and not interested in genuinely getting to know you or share new experiences (such as becoming friends).
Regardless of whether it is acknowledged or not, it is difficult to make friends here (MN) if you weren't born and/or raised here (MN). This is one of many threads on this issue - so I wont go into my experiences in detail, but I am always amused by how quickly the experience of so many people who have moved here and share similar experiences on this issue is discounted.
So I weigh in - Minnesota nice in my experience means that people are cordial, polite, but are very closed and not interested in genuinely getting to know you or share new experiences (such as becoming friends). Actually I find that there is nothing wrong with that - as long as they are willing to admit it. - where Im from they would tell you straight - but then there's no MN Nice there.
I tend to agree, as a born-and-raised resident who has moved away and come back, people here are not only slow to warm up, some never warm up and accept you for who you are. But you have to KNOW that Minnesotans aren't inherantly evil (and this is only a small % of the population), but culturally Scandanavians are more quiet and conservative and tend to stick to what they know. I'd say this is prevalent for about 25% of the residents here, vs. perhaps 10%-15% on average in the U.S.A. It's probably not the ONLY reason you may have trouble meeting people here, but perhaps a big reason.
Another factor is WHERE you live. I grew up in Minneapolis but moved to Edina later and the two places are DRASTICALLY different in terms of friendliness. Minneapolis was MUCH friendlier and "who" you are was more important than "what" you are, which is not true with Edina, which was one of the most exclusive places I've ever experienced. If our family continues to reside in MN I am going to pay careful attention to raise our kids in an area where people are open, friendly and understanding of one-another....and I pretty much REFUSE to raise my kids in Edina. I'm not a social outcast or anything (actually, pretty close to the opposite of that), but I don't want my children to feel "excluded", OR, I don't want them to exclude others.
I'm sick of newcomers moving to Minnesota expecting natives to open their arms and lives to you. "Waah, Minnesotans are soo cold, because they won't be my friend".. You people need to realize that
A) Moving anywhere is difficult, this isn't just unique to MN.
B) Our culture. Formed by Germans and Scandanavians who embrace family and close-knit friendships. Read an anthropology or history of MN book to understand it better if you don't
C) The weather theory. Minnesotans have fun and they do it hard. But they cram what many Americans do in a year in just 6 months from April to September. Cabins, boating, summer, sports, kids, groups, camps, family, fishing, hunting, Twins. It's leaves very little room for any "new people".
D) It's not the native's job to be proactive in gaining your friendship. As a newcomer, it should be YOUR responsibility to make friends, not sitting there waiting for a call.
E) Minnesotans work hard. Work hard at work, work hard on their lawns, work hard on their cabins, coach kids soccer/hockey/dance/baseball/basketball/gymnastic teams
F) Seperation of work and life. After 40 hrs with you, sorry, I don't want to spend the weekend camping with you. I'll leave that for my brother that I see only once a month.
I know it can be tough for outsiders. I have a guy I work with who moved here from California. On Xmas he kept bugging me to "go out" after my family get-together. texts, calls, nagging. Finally I was like "dude, Xmas is for family, I'll probably be deep into the 4th or 5th family game by then sharing egg nog with my uncles"
I can see where people are coming from... But... You need to realize that's the way it is here.
I know I've asked this on other threads, and different people have different definitions, but when does one stop being a transplant? How do you know if someone is "from" Minnesota? How about people born here, moved away for twenty years, then move back? How does one define that? If you moved here at age 30 and have been here for 30 years, are you a Minnesotan? Obviously the answer changes, but I still find it curious how so many people know where random acquaintances are from -- how do you KNOW they're from Minnesota? I know where my friends are from -- as we are FRIENDS -- but that's not something you generally know about someone when you first casually meet them. The exception seems to be people who have recently moved here, as then it's more likely to come up in conversation. But other than that, just because someone lives in the state doesn't mean that they're from here. Plenty of these "close-minded" people may well be from somewhere else.
I agree that it's tougher to meet people in MN than many places, but still think that there's a tendency among some people to grasp onto "Minnesotans are only friends with people they've known since age 2" stereotype as an excuse. That may well be true for some Minnesotans (but if it is, would you have anything in common with them anyway, or necessarily want to be friends?) but there's millions of people out there. Some of them are friend-worthy!
I certainly agree with Min-Chi-Cbus about Minneapolis neighborhoods being friendly. We live near the University and downtown in a very diverse community with many neighbors who are transplants from other parts of the country. Our neighborhood organization is very active with projects like the annual Mississippi River clean-up, National Night Out, community gardens, etc., and working together really helps neighbors to get connected with each other. I often think a neighborhood with a few problems to solve is an easier place to make friends because you're working together to improve your community.
I'm sick of newcomers moving to Minnesota expecting natives to open their arms and lives to you. "Waah, Minnesotans are soo cold, because they won't be my friend".. You people need to realize that
...
B) Our culture. Formed by Germans and Scandanavians who embrace family and close-knit friendships. Read an anthropology or history of MN book to understand it better if you don't
...
To be fair, Germans make up a huge part of the country. I'm German - I was born in a German neighborhood in New York City, grew up in Pennsylvania Dutch country, spent 5 years in Minneapolis, and now live in Philadelphia...with plenty of German people. I'm thinking that it's hard to find a place in America without significant German population. I wound up making two pretty good friends in my time in Minneapolis, one German, and one Polish. I have no idea about the Scandinavian culture, though - that could explain the difference. But the idea that Minnesota is special because of its German heritage is weird.
And yes, there is a difference from Minnesota and other places I've lived. It was harder to make friends. Without a doubt. Since I've moved to Philly, I've had more conversations with my neighbors in any given week than I did in all my time in Minnesota. Real conversations too, like they see me reading a book and want to discuss it, just because it's interesting to discuss ideas with people.
In Minnesota I had the advantage of being a pretty introverted person. It didn't bother me that I didn't make friends, because I've never had a ton of friends. I was content to just sit at home and read, or whatever. But I don't discount what other people said.
I also had the advantage of being a college student, so I wound up making a few friends, most of them transplants. But being in college is a pretty easy way to make friends, that most people moving to the state don't get. I had a couple of coffee and beer acquaintances through college. Never really made any friends outside of the campus setting though, in my neighborhood or at work.
I don't really care about Minnesota Nice one way or the other. I was a transplant, but not looking to make friends. I know that makes me an outlier. I believe it to exist. The thing that I find the most amusing about it is how hostile Minnesotans are to the idea that it exists. There are other places in America that are stereotypically unwelcoming, and I'm not sure they get their panties in as much of a twist about the stereotype as Minnesotans do. Philadelphia is known as a pretty rude place...I don't really see people caring about it so much though.
Minnesota Nice is crap. Plain and simple. It doesn't exist. It's a myth like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Fargo accents. If anything, Minnesotans are less friendly and more reserved than other people. People don't smile, wave or start conversations here -- they stare at you and keep moving. There are many people here (as a few previous posters demonstrated) that won't give you the time of day. They're too busy with their "families" and "old friends" to give a rat's rear end about anything or anyone else. Don't take it personally. Basically, you just have to ignore people like that. Just ignore them. No reason to concern yourself with those types.
However, not all Minnesotans are that way. There are self-absorbed jerks everywhere, it's not specific to Minnesota.
Personally, as a "transplant" (I hate that term -- I consider myself a Minnesotan) from Michigan, I haven't had too many problems meeting friends here, and I'm a very nontraditional person. Of course, I met most of my friends through church and related activities, not the workplace. Despite that, I still don't feel like I fit in here. Everyone is family-oriented here, and I'm the complete opposite. I'm single, childfree-by-choice, I'm not close with my family, I don't celebrate Christmas. I'd rather be flayed alive than have kids or "raise a family" - ugh!! Even though I have a social life, I don't think I'll ever "belong" for those reasons.
I'm sick of newcomers moving to Minnesota expecting natives to open their arms and lives to you. "Waah, Minnesotans are soo cold, because they won't be my friend".. You people need to realize that
A) Moving anywhere is difficult, this isn't just unique to MN.
B) Our culture. Formed by Germans and Scandanavians who embrace family and close-knit friendships. Read an anthropology or history of MN book to understand it better if you don't
C) The weather theory. Minnesotans have fun and they do it hard. But they cram what many Americans do in a year in just 6 months from April to September. Cabins, boating, summer, sports, kids, groups, camps, family, fishing, hunting, Twins. It's leaves very little room for any "new people".
D) It's not the native's job to be proactive in gaining your friendship. As a newcomer, it should be YOUR responsibility to make friends, not sitting there waiting for a call.
E) Minnesotans work hard. Work hard at work, work hard on their lawns, work hard on their cabins, coach kids soccer/hockey/dance/baseball/basketball/gymnastic teams
F) Seperation of work and life. After 40 hrs with you, sorry, I don't want to spend the weekend camping with you. I'll leave that for my brother that I see only once a month.
I know it can be tough for outsiders. I have a guy I work with who moved here from California. On Xmas he kept bugging me to "go out" after my family get-together. texts, calls, nagging. Finally I was like "dude, Xmas is for family, I'll probably be deep into the 4th or 5th family game by then sharing egg nog with my uncles"
I can see where people are coming from... But... You need to realize that's the way it is here.
I have moved many places, so I know that feeling.
The 6 months out of the yea thing, well, why not just do some winter activities? I would do that. I am the type of person that if I see snow, I will go out and play in it. Maybe one could make friends that way.
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