Is MSP passive aggressive or genuinely nice? (Minneapolis: 2015, living in)

[Mini-apple-less]

I've thought about Minnesota a lot because it seems like it has many of the positive aspects of Pacific Northwest culture like being introverted, relatively safe and loving nature but without the Northwest's drawbacks like being snotty, unfriendly and expensive with low paying jobs.

Is Minneapolis the kind of city where people give you judgmental stares just for saying hi to them? Or are people genuinely warm and nice there? Also, is it commonplace to be invited to a Super Bowl party there, for example? Or do people generally not invite you to do things until you've known them for many years? I've heard that Minnesotans can be slow to warm to people, but I've also heard the exact opposite.

[uptown_urbanist]

Like so many things, it depends. (And also remember that many people in the Twin Cities come from elsewhere!) I think, broadly generalizing, people are genuinely nice and friendly to strangers and acquaintances -- but that doesn't necessarily translate into inviting new people over for dinner right away. I think sometimes that is where misunderstandings sometimes arise. I think people tend to be chattier and "nice" to people on the streets or that they know only very casually here than many places, but they are also less likely to immediately translate that into invitations or to move it to the next level of friendship. It is, perhaps, easier to make acquaintances, tougher to make friends.

[Mini-apple-less]

Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist

Like so many things, it depends. (And also remember that many people in the Twin Cities come from elsewhere!) I think, broadly generalizing, people are genuinely nice and friendly to strangers and acquaintances -- but that doesn't necessarily translate into inviting new people over for dinner right away. I think sometimes that is where misunderstandings sometimes arise. I think people tend to be chattier and "nice" to people on the streets or that they know only very casually here than many places, but they are also less likely to immediately translate that into invitations or to move it to the next level of friendship. It is, perhaps, easier to make acquaintances, tougher to make friends.

Interesting. Yeah in Portland people will blow you off just for being courteous and polite (for example, even something as appropriate and non-intrusive as waving and saying hello to someone on a hiking trail is viewed as a faux pas in Portland), is that typical Minnesota behavior too? I always thought it was really weird living in Portland how people could seem so judgmental to someone they just met. Like they feel like they are too good or something. I experienced this personally and many others have said the exact same thing, so it isn't "just me" even though if I told a Portlander that's probably what they would tell me.

[uptown_urbanist]

No, I think people here say hello on the street (not always, but it's common), so that sort of basic friendliness is the norm.

[jennifat]

Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist

No, I think people here say hello on the street (not always, but it's common), so that sort of basic friendliness is the norm.

I never, ever see that. Are you sure you live in Minneapolis? You'd get a polite smile and an awkward "hi" at best from me. If two people know or are acquainted with each other, they might say "hello" if passing on the street, but never strangers. Seems like a very Southern thing.

Personally, I've never really understood why this is an expectation for seemingly lots of people, and why they're offended when not reciprocated. Why do people feel the need to exchange greetings with randos? Are these individuals' emotional states dependent on forcing others to interact with them? Isn't just passing in respectful silence good enough?

[Mini-apple-less]

Originally Posted by jennifat

I never, ever see that. Are you sure you live in Minneapolis? You'd get a polite smile and an awkward "hi" at best from me. If two people know or are acquainted with each other, they might say "hello" if passing on the street, but never strangers. Seems like a very Southern thing.

Personally, I've never really understood why this is an expectation for seemingly lots of people, and why they're offended when not reciprocated. Why do people feel the need to exchange greetings with randos? Are these individuals' emotional states dependent on forcing others to interact with them? Isn't just passing in respectful silence good enough?

Wow, maybe Minneapolis really is just like Portland. I don't like the idea of refusing to acknowledge basic politeness. Seems very snobby, fearful and judgmental to me.

[iNviNciBL3]

You will find plenty of both, passive aggressive and genuinely nice people.

[StilltheSame]

Both.

[wushuliu]

Both. The dominant trait in either case is the reluctance (or inability) to be direct. Having originally moved here from the east coast, that was the single hardest part of my transition to MN culture. But in relative terms Minnesotans are very nice and usually polite.

[Kamsack]

I live in rural Minnesota and I also was new to the area when I moved to the area in 1998. I find the people, generally friendly. I am quite outgoing and thus say hello, how are you, to anyone I run into, on the street or in the grocery line. I havent had any issues or stares. That said, saying hello and chatting about the weather with next door neighbors doesnt mean you will be invited over to dinner or to a party. That is a big step and usually only done if you know someone for a while, most likely through kids.