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My husband and 3 children relocated here from Wisconsin. My oldest is in Kindergarden in a Sumner County school. Unfortunately, I had to find out through her that her teacher and principle had a paddle underneath their desk that "they use if you are naughty". I asked the teacher during parent-teacher conferences i this was true and to my surprise it is. Of course, I was told they only use it if they have to. I did not have to sign a form or anything. This was just that counties form of discipline.
If have different views on this. 1 - if my child is that 'naughty' I want to be told about this before the school has to discipline my child. 2 - in Wisconsin it is against the law to even spank your child. I was shocked to here that this discipline was used here.
On the other hand - it is definitely not unheard of to have school closings in Wisconsin because of bomb threats, etc. I have yet to hear of that here (unless it is not communicated via radio/tv). If their is a child that is behaving that badly, maybe the paddle to the butt is okay.
Like I said, I am very new to the 'paddle' being used in schools. I just wish that, being a parent, I would have been advised as to the type of punishment that is used in this particular school.
OK, I'll bite here. There is a HUGE difference between a "wake up" spanking and abuse. Spank does NOT=abuse. It is called discipline. Yes, there are some stupid/bad parents out there who do abuse but the majority of parents know this difference. Unfortunately, the children of bad parents go to school with our children, the good parents who know how to discipline properly. But if anyone thinks that children only learn actions and behaviors at home, they are delusional. Kids will act like another student 10 times faster than they will act like their parents. If the school can not respond to bad behavior it will just exacerbate. I can count on one hand how many times I got spanked by my parents growing up. It wasn't the actual spank that hurt near as much as the fact that my parents did it. Tell you what though, it worked! If I screwed up bad enough that my parents resorted to a swat, I never did THAT again and learned from it. My children, same thing. I can recall on one hand how many times I have ever spanked them. But I do somewhat agree, a hand, not a wooden object to get the job done.
My children attended a TN school that has corporal punishment, I was given that form at the beginning of every year, my kids saw it, they knew I had a choice, I gave the permission and my kids knew I did. Because they knew it, it never had to be used. If you give kids permission to act up and get away with it, they will do so, it is part of growing up. "How far can I push to get my own way." The actual thought may not be there, but tell me of a kid who has not at one time or another tried to push the envelope and I will say that is just a really smart,smooth acting kid who has achieved getting away with it. Kids will be kids, they need to know the lines they can not cross and sometimes a spanking will let them know the village is serious. Very rarely do schools go over board with this policy. But I can tell you the parents who made it known that they did not sign that form and who stated things like " No one will spank my child, it is abuse!" very publicly, usually had some of the worst behaved kids in that school. That is not a statistic, that is what I saw with my own eyes by being very involved in that school. If you tie a teachers hands behind their backs when it comes to controlling a class, they can not teach.
I SOOO agree! With some kids a "Time out" just doesn't cut it.
Kids also learn what they live. If they live with getting away with calling a teacher a name or cheating on a test, and receive a "good talking to" or a time out for it, they will have a long sad life ahead of them and society as a whole will have to pay for it.
The reality is that swift and effective punishment, reduces the need in the future.
While I do not have children of school age anymore, I would very publicly sign the permission form it appears some Tennessee schools wisely hand out. Just the threat can do wonders.
Good for the Tennessee schools HELPING parents discipline their children.
There are no parents I know who are so perfect that they do not need help these days.
That's the problem with the world today. Everyone is sue crazy. There is a difference between Child abuse and discipline.
We all survived with spankings and made us better because of it.
Well, I have never sued anyone in my life and I have never had a spanking either. My parents are deceased now, and they never sued anyone either. I believe hitting ANYONE is abuse. I accept responsibility for my actions. There are ways to punish people without hitting them. Also, I think talking to people and finding out why someone is doing the socially unacceptable action should always be the first step. Sometimes there are kids out there that are not being heard. NO ONE listens to them ever, sometimes they just want their feelings validated. Are there lots of crappy parents out there - you bet. I saw too many of them when I was teaching Jr. high and High school. But I do NOT think hitting their children is going to help the cycle end! Just maybe though, listening to what they have gone through in life and what they are after might. There are those rare mentally ill people, sociopaths, etc out there that are not going to be saved by just talking - but do you really thing spanking will help them either?
Take Care,
Tam
I know paddling worked for me. And my kids are getting it on the rare occasion where they've really misbehaved. I never got much more than a switch from a wooden spoon, but it was enough. I learned to respect that and appreciate it with time.
And the principle's paddle on the wall... I only knew a few kids who ever got it, but it was universally respected and perhaps feared. Yet I always found my principle smiling and saying hello in the mornings, and I knew that wasn't coming my way because I kept my behavior up to par.
Over 20+ years of "Don't touch a child, don't paddle a child, don't speak loudly to a child, let the child have a voice, let a child make their own decisions, be your child's friend, etc." and the results of the experiment are in. Children murdering children; children killing their parents because they didn't get what they wanted; children out of control to the point that ridiculous reality shows showing nannies teaching parents how to get control of their monsters have been created. I pity teachers of today's world because they can't discipline the out-of-control child in their class because the parent refuses to acknowledge the kid is a brat. My cousin raised one terror of a child and she would come unglued on any teacher that even raised their voice to her boy (he was transferred from class to class, then school to school because of this) and he is now an adult who is in jail for about the tenth time.
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH A SWAT ACROSS THE REAR END OF A CHILD. Not abuse but one attention getting swat that brings them back to reality. My daughter would go into a fit that no matter what I said or did (including those ridiculous "time outs") worked, so I started swatting her on the butt. She would stop the screaming immediately, look at me in a shocked way but the tantrum would stop. By the time my children were six all I had to do was say their name in that certain tone of voice, and they straightened up with no swat needed. They didn't turn into adults crying about how they were abused or emotionally damaged and expecting the world to owe them everything they demanded; they instead became very hard working, responsible, respectful and happy adults.
I teach at a local college, and because of our open admission policy have students from all kinds of backgrounds. A few of our younger students are unpleasant to deal with -- but so are some of the non-traditionals. I find the overwhelming majority of my younger students are great to work with.
In my experience, I don't find much support for "kids today are out of control."
Sorry, but I have to disagree on the spanking idea...even a little swat to get attention. I was spanked as a child with a belt & it left welts. One time I even fell off the bed & hit my head on the dresser. I have a scar to prove it! On top of that, I got my mouth washed out a few times. I don't approve of that either. I wasn't a terrible kid, my parents were just very strict! I didn't learn to respect my parents, I just learned to fear them. That is not what I wanted to happen raising our children, so I never hit our two daughters. In my opinion, one of the main reasons discipline worked without using any physical force is due to the fact that I was present from the time each child was born to the time they moved out of the house as young adults. I think one of the main keys to well behaved children is persistance, starting at a young age. I also had a tendency to explain my reasons for things to our children, so they would never have to question my decisions in their own minds. I tried to cover everything, thinking ahead about what could be challenged as far as rules go. Our kids knew what was expected of them. Of course they made mistakes & challenged authority from time to time, but they got punished mostly by having the things they appreciated the most being taken away from them for a period of time.
I'm proud that I didn't take the easy way out, and I know that discipline is possible without spanking, because the proof is in the adult daughters we raised that are now a positive addition to society
I teach at a local college, and because of our open admission policy have students from all kinds of backgrounds. A few of our younger students are unpleasant to deal with -- but so are some of the non-traditionals. I find the overwhelming majority of my younger students are great to work with.
In my experience, I don't find much support for "kids today are out of control."
Having graduated from HS in 1964 (California) I can tell you there is a HUGE difference today.
Lets see, in my elementary school gum chewing was a MAJOR problem. Today it is Knives.
In my JR high school ONE girl got pregnant and the whole school was shocked. Today they have help for the babies of the students and no one is shocked.
Now as for High School, The biggest thing was someone smoking a cigarette or trying to spike the punch at a dance. Now hard drugs are wayyyy out of control, along with alcohol; and Marijuana is common.
Yes it has changed and NOT for the better.
Permissiveness, known as being progressive, is deadly to children.
Sorry, but I have to disagree on the spanking idea...even a little swat to get attention. I was spanked as a child with a belt & it left welts. One time I even fell off the bed & hit my head on the dresser. I have a scar to prove it! On top of that, I got my mouth washed out a few times. I don't approve of that either. I wasn't a terrible kid, my parents were just very strict! I didn't learn to respect my parents, I just learned to fear them. That is not what I wanted to happen raising our children, so I never hit our two daughters. In my opinion, one of the main reasons discipline worked without using any physical force is due to the fact that I was present from the time each child was born to the time they moved out of the house as young adults. I think one of the main keys to well behaved children is persistance, starting at a young age. I also had a tendency to explain my reasons for things to our children, so they would never have to question my decisions in their own minds. I tried to cover everything, thinking ahead about what could be challenged as far as rules go. Our kids knew what was expected of them. Of course they made mistakes & challenged authority from time to time, but they got punished mostly by having the things they appreciated the most being taken away from them for a period of time.
I'm proud that I didn't take the easy way out, and I know that discipline is possible without spanking, because the proof is in the adult daughters we raised that are now a positive addition to society
I am sorry you were dealt with improperly.
I was spanked by my father maybe twice. I felt so bad that it was necessary I worked hard to avoid being that foolish again. Did I get sent to my room, grounded, talked too, etc; YES. ALL are needed. Much of what you say is absolutely correct. But proper discipline does include, on occasion, corporal punishment. Spanking is a tool of last resort and should be rare. In some cases it may never be necessary, but when it is, avoiding it can do more harm than good.
Leaving welts or bruises is NOT discipline it is abuse. Many never learn the difference because they think all spanking is abuse and it isn't.
Too few "parents" have no idea how to discipline children today. The children are the losers as they end up with no idea of what is the proper way to care for the children they have; and it goes down hill with each generation.
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