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Dracul—when I first read your post I thought you were going to do what a friend of mine said he’ll do—walk into the mountains in the Gila and die out there and then let the wild animals have him. That seems more drawn out and painful then blowing yourself up and being feed to them. I shudder to think of being pushed to sit in front of a TV in a nursing home since I don't like watching TV. Or being surrounded with one kind of person—old. Or not having a choice about who I have to listen to (complainers don’t bother me if I’m not around them.) Or not getting outside in nature or hearing the sound of children playing. Blowing myself up won't be the way I finish it though. I don't like adrenaline rushes. There must be more realistic gentler ways to make a choice to pass on when you are ready. The Unitarian Church sponsors talks by The Hemlock Society. I want to get more info from them as I get older.
Catman—haven’t senior centers and rest homes gotten any better? I remember volunteering as a teenager at a nursing home and I hated it. I went into a senior center in Las Cruces last January that had all kinds of activities (great jewelry making shop.) I like the idea of social places to meet occasionally. What about senior centers don’t you like? I can see nursing homes as hell but senior centers?
My wife is a contractor that spends some time in local nursing homes and she doesn't have very positive things to say. Same old problems. Not enough money to do it right, and underpaid lower end staff for the most part.
On the other hand, some of the classes I teach are in local Senior Centers and I've found them to be surprisingly nice. Bright, and active, with a good selection of activities and generally social people. It's actually my favorite place to teach because everyone has great stories and anecdotes to share, many of them about old New Mexico.
Perhaps a bit of hyperbole on my part. My most sincere wish is to maintain a relevant life. An experiential and serendipitous life of continual self-exploration and evolution. I value my independence and self reliance and will surrender them only with extreme reluctance. ...And I suppose I'm a bit of a romantic as well as I've spent many happy hours with Robert E. Howard and Ernest Hemingway. Additionally, I'm very proud of my Romanian and Magyar roots, something I would never change, despite being somewhat politically incorrect I concede my friend. Life is a grand and wondrous voyage and the journey begins anew with every breath we take.
Perhaps a bit of hyperbole on my part. My most sincere wish is to maintain a relevant life. An experiential and serendipitous life of continual self-exploration and evolution. I value my independence and self reliance and will surrender them only with extreme reluctance. ...And I suppose I'm a bit of a romantic as well as I've spent many happy hours with Robert E. Howard and Ernest Hemingway. Additionally, I'm very proud of my Romanian and Magyar roots, something I would never change, despite being somewhat politically incorrect I concede my friend. Life is a grand and wondrous voyage and the journey begins anew with every breath we take.
Well said Dracul. I'd give you points but they won't let me give you more and I don't feel like taking time to read any more posts and spreading them around (bossy things aren't they? where am I? not in a nursing home right?) These days my limit is two threads--summer is flying by fast! I fear lost of independence and having to move in with my kids. Not sure where in my background my fierce determination (I'm not stubborn ) comes from--German, Norwegian, Welsh and who knows what else. I bet you'd have some good stories to tell!
Dancingearth: Perhaps I was being a bit too negative about senior centers, but nursing homes are another matter. Senior centers run the gamut from quite nice to horrifying. I agree quite closely with dracul's post above (although I almost always read nonfiction).
Right now we're just trying to gingerly negotiate another year here in Denver and get past the wide gamut of bills and responsibilities we've taken on recently. The injury tabs are still making me wince every time I see the postman/woman approaching our house. Sometimes this gradually stiffening hand makes me very depressed, as well...but I try not to dwell on it. I have another surgical consultation on the second of October; I'll decide shortly thereafter when this inevitable surgery can occur. Kinda giving me pause since it involves my main paw!!!
I endeavor to look ahead to hopefully proposed plans and recall those times of triumph and elation rather than sink into the quagmire of depression and self-doubt. There are many others who are traversing tougher roads than I. Sure, there are several other matters of concern as well, but compartmentalizing them all is a useful exercise/distraction. We all need to feel somewhat comfortable under the proverbial yoke, huh guyz!!?? Art helps, music helps and the latest images from deep space are the most sublime of all for me.
Right now we're just trying to gingerly negotiate another year here in Denver and get past the wide gamut of bills and responsibilities we've taken on recently. The injury tabs are still making me wince every time I see the postman/woman approaching our house. Sometimes this gradually stiffening hand makes me very depressed, as well...but I try not to dwell on it. I have another surgical consultation on the second of October; I'll decide shortly thereafter when this inevitable surgery can occur. Kinda giving me pause since it involves my main paw!!!
I endeavor to look ahead to hopefully proposed plans and recall those times of triumph and elation rather than sink into the quagmire of depression and self-doubt. There are many others who are traversing tougher roads than I. Sure, there are several other matters of concern as well, but compartmentalizing them all is a useful exercise/distraction. We all need to feel somewhat comfortable under the proverbial yoke, huh guyz!!?? Art helps, music helps and the latest images from deep space are the most sublime of all for me.
Oh do I feel your pain Dracul. Buying this house I'm feeling up past my ears in debt. But tonight, tonight my home has soul. Finally. after six weeks of struggling to unpack and realizing the body doesn't tolerate the physical lifting and carrying like it use to (it's called PAIN!--today all the joints hurt); hang blinds that took three tries over two weeks and close to tears from the frustration; roof leaks; things not working; getting stuff delivered that wasn't what I ordered--everything has been a struggle. Finally tonight I feel unpacked and home but it is music that brought my home soul. I broke down and bought a CD player today instead of trying to play them on my computer (really does not do it!) I lite the candles and danced to Loreena McKennitt and celebrated how far I've come in the last year even though I will be paying for this for quite some time. It helps to go to my paying job when I love my home.
But throughout this move, my biggest concern has been the pain in my wrists. What would I do if I could not make things and be creative after the drain of the 9-5 job? Fortunately we live in these times with more available medically instead of 100 years ago. Hang in there.
Love the soaks when we are in town! Nearly fell asleep last time we visited. Likely impacts nothing from a health standpoint but it sure feels great!
Currently considering Las Crusas as a stepping stone to the south west...on a permanent basis that is. Gotta get outta Denver this year somehow. Just can't do this gig much longer and keep my sanity reasonably intact.
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There must be more realistic gentler ways to make a choice to pass on when you are ready. The Unitarian Church sponsors talks by The Hemlock Society. I want to get more info from them as I get older. 
) comes from--German, Norwegian, Welsh and who knows what else. I bet you'd have some good stories to tell!
Ojo
