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Old 04-02-2013, 05:49 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,412,919 times
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It seems that women are generally complimented on their looks - physical things like their features or what they're wearing, by both men and women. While men are more often complimented on how they are inside. If women complain that men just judge them on their looks and not for who they are 'on the inside' why does it seem to me that the majority of women do the same thing? I've heard women bitching about other women primarily talking about her physical appearance, even if that was irrelevant. Like she might be an unpleasant person, but they'll be like that FAT *****, or that UGLY ***** all the time.

For instance our prime minister who is a woman. There was even something in the news about how everyone was talking about how she looked, her fashion sense etc as if it was more relevant than her policies. As if that mattered more.

Is it a case of women just buying into a patriarchal world view or are both sexes equally to blame?
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:20 AM
 
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There is this saying that women don't dress up for men, they dress up for other women. In many ways I think that's true.

Personally, I tend not to associate myself with women who's ego is so attached to their physical appearance that they feel the need to judge my outerwear. There's absolutely no point in that for me.
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:31 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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That's a stupid saying. So they wear those mini-skirts in freezing weather for other women to check them out? LOL. Much of our behaviour is influenced by sex and the relationship between the sexes, not that relationships with members of our own sex aren't important. Not to say that women don't appreciate fashion in general and like to admire other women.

Anyway, yeah, it just seems all their self-worth is invested in how they look. Then when they reach 40 or something and their looks fade they get depressed and think their life is 'over' or they try desperately to re-capture their youth.
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Old 04-02-2013, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Willow Spring and Mocksville
275 posts, read 324,601 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
....Anyway, yeah, it just seems all their self-worth is invested in how they look. Then when they reach 40 or something and their looks fade they get depressed and think their life is 'over' or they try desperately to re-capture their youth.
This is very true. My girlfriend just turned 50, and she looks great. She looks better than many women 10-15 years younger than she. She's a late mother, and having two young children keeps her from having a sedentary lifestyle. While her children are the most important things in her life, she also has outside interests, and talks about more than her kids. She catches all kinds of flak from other women at work and in the community. Women make snide and rude comments about how she "dresses up too much. When she talks about something other than "mommy talk", they curl their lips and roll their eyes. She used to be much heavier, and when she encounters women who knew her back then, at first they are incredulous ("Are you _____???? You lost a lot of weight!!!!") and then they act p*ssed off and usually don't speak to her again. I kid you not!

They seem to feel that she is not "acting her age", and that it is not appropriate for a 50 year old woman to try to look nice, have a life that does not exclusively revolve around her kids or grand kids in most cases), and have a boyfriend. It sounds incredible, but I see it every day. I get the feeling that, like you say, their considered their life to be "over" when they reached a certain age, and they resent someone who is not the same way.

Wow. That's all I can say.....
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Old 04-02-2013, 08:19 AM
 
Location: NW Philly Burbs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
For instance our prime minister who is a woman. There was even something in the news about how everyone was talking about how she looked, her fashion sense etc as if it was more relevant than her policies. As if that mattered more.

Is it a case of women just buying into a patriarchal world view or are both sexes equally to blame?
Hilary Clinton faced the same thing when she ran for office, and later as Secretary of State, she still couldn't get away from comments on her hair or other aspects of her appearance. Women in business or politics ARE held to a higher standard then men of the same rank. Twenty years ago Janet Reno, our Attorney General was skewered in the press/comics/SNL because she was not deemed "attractive".

As for who is to blame? Not sure. I think it's ingrained in us from days on the playground -- girls are judged on how pretty they are, boys by what they can do.
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Old 04-02-2013, 08:23 AM
 
1,765 posts, read 2,446,553 times
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Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
That's a stupid saying. So they wear those mini-skirts in freezing weather for other women to check them out? LOL. Much of our behaviour is influenced by sex and the relationship between the sexes, not that relationships with members of our own sex aren't important. Not to say that women don't appreciate fashion in general and like to admire other women.

Anyway, yeah, it just seems all their self-worth is invested in how they look. Then when they reach 40 or something and their looks fade they get depressed and think their life is 'over' or they try desperately to re-capture their youth.

It's not that stupid. To be honest, a lot of guys are pretty simple. Nice face, nice smile, nice body. That's what makes a girl physically attractive to them. But there are those women who go into, "Her shoes don't match her outfit" or "look at that dress" etc. Personally, I think that's one of the reasons why women have so many fashion options whereas men usually only have shirts and pants. It's simpler. All the fashion variety isn't even really needed to catch their attention. In MY opinion.

It certainly can be fun to wear them though and play dress up. But most guys don't even know when a woman has on makeup or not.
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Old 04-02-2013, 08:54 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,361 posts, read 41,900,880 times
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I agree. It's not stupid just because you don't get it.

Women dressing up for other women don't do it to be attractive to the other women; it's to ensure that they look better than most other women in the room.

It's a competition, my dear.
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Old 04-02-2013, 09:31 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,412,919 times
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Originally Posted by Royalite View Post
It's not that stupid. To be honest, a lot of guys are pretty simple. Nice face, nice smile, nice body. That's what makes a girl physically attractive to them. But there are those women who go into, "Her shoes don't match her outfit" or "look at that dress" etc. Personally, I think that's one of the reasons why women have so many fashion options whereas men usually only have shirts and pants. It's simpler. All the fashion variety isn't even really needed to catch their attention. In MY opinion.

It certainly can be fun to wear them though and play dress up. But most guys don't even know when a woman has on makeup or not.
Yeah I guess it has some truth to it. But I think in many cultures/in the past men dressed up as much or even more than women, so you have to realise that cultural norms change.
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Old 04-02-2013, 10:08 AM
 
1,765 posts, read 2,446,553 times
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Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Yeah I guess it has some truth to it. But I think in many cultures/in the past men dressed up as much or even more than women, so you have to realise that cultural norms change.
It's true. Many men still do compete with other men as well. I was recently looking at a documentary of a certain tribe in Africa where the men would often go off to fight with other tribes, etc. The younger men were often eager to fight and when asked why they said, "Because the women back home like it when you fight." So they're out there competing with one another to get prospects.

I think in our westernized society, stereotypically (and this is for those who choose to play the game) the way in which they go about demonstrating their prowess is often demonstrated by their income and successes, etc. As wmsn said, it's competition and the aim is to make themselves more marketable.
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Old 04-02-2013, 10:19 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,412,919 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Royalite View Post
It's true. Many men still do compete with other men as well. I was recently looking at a documentary of a certain tribe in Africa where the men would often go off to fight with other tribes, etc. The younger men were often eager to fight and when asked why they said, "Because the women back home like it when you fight." So they're out there competing with one another to get prospects.

I think in our westernized society, stereotypically (and this is for those who choose to play the game) the way in which they go about demonstrating their prowess is often demonstrated by their income and successes, etc. As wmsn said, it's competition and the aim is to make themselves more marketable.
Yep, kinda makes you cynical about all this talk about 'true love' don't it?
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