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This is hard to admit, but I want to get some opinions here. So I am a female college student in my early-mid 20's, and recently joined a few "sugar daddy" dating sites as well as millionaire match. Basically the sites connect older, "wealthy" or established men with young, attractive women. Not saying I look like a model by any means but have been told I am "very pretty" on many occasions, am very slim and keep active, am relatively well-traveled, AND am comfortable in many social settings and a good listener.. Meanwhile, a lot of the men that have been messaging me(only met 1, scum of the earth) are significantly overweight, bald or balding, old (as in some could be my grandfather) yet seem to expect a physically intimate relationship often on the first meet (which ive specified in my profile that i NEVER DO) without offering me anything monetarily or material wise besides MAYBE a dinner at (hang on to your hats) Subway. Don’t get me wrong, I like a five dollar foot long as much as the next person but I was hoping for something a little classier…Quiznos perhaps, lol. Is it just me or does anyone else find this strange for a first meeting? Also, I know this post makes me sound like an escort which is not my intention at all, BUT, the point of the particular site I joined called "seeking arrangement", is that companionship (depending where that leads) in exchange for a monthly allowance or gifts (shopping, travel, fine dining,etc). I told a few male-friends about this and they said I'm turning in to a 'gold digger' and one even lead to a falling out(hopefully just temporary) because he thinks I'm superficial.
So to sum it up, and I know im going to get tons of crap for this, but needless to say if an overweight, physically undesirable older man wants the company, companionship and perhaps physical component of a relationship with an attractive young woman, am I not being fair in expecting something in return either in the form of gifts (nice shopping trips, vacation,etc) or some type of allowance (could happily be a college tuition bill, a couple text books, WHATEVER). My thoughts are if an older unattractive man(often married btw) wants access to a younger woman and is demanding of her time and often her body, she should be getting something out of it too since I am doing him a FAVOR. Now if the guy is physically attractive and we both are 'in to each other' different story.
Honestly What are your thoughts?
Honestly..........you are not doing him any "favors" you are advertising yourself to be a hooker, prostitute, escort, lady of the evening, street walker, etc. etc. etc.
Your choice to do this however, do not expect some physically attractive guy who has tons of money to come in and sweep you off your feet and offer you happily ever after. Hookers rarely if ever are handed "happily ever after" or even tuition by a very rich, handsome man who can have any woman he wants and will choose someone who is not a hooker over someone who is every time.
How would you describe your situation, if not gold digging? The only difference between what you're going and what regular gold diggers do is that you're upfront about your intentions. Don't be ashamed of what you're doing, just think of it as a business arrangement.
This is hard to admit, but I want to get some opinions here. So I am a female college student in my early-mid 20's, and recently joined a few "sugar daddy" dating sites as well as millionaire match. Basically the sites connect older, "wealthy" or established men with young, attractive women. Not saying I look like a model by any means but have been told I am "very pretty" on many occasions, am very slim and keep active, am relatively well-traveled, AND am comfortable in many social settings and a good listener.. Meanwhile, a lot of the men that have been messaging me(only met 1, scum of the earth) are significantly overweight, bald or balding, old (as in some could be my grandfather) yet seem to expect a physically intimate relationship often on the first meet (which ive specified in my profile that i NEVER DO) without offering me anything monetarily or material wise besides MAYBE a dinner at (hang on to your hats) Subway. Don’t get me wrong, I like a five dollar foot long as much as the next person but I was hoping for something a little classier…Quiznos perhaps, lol. Is it just me or does anyone else find this strange for a first meeting? Also, I know this post makes me sound like an escort which is not my intention at all, BUT, the point of the particular site I joined called "seeking arrangement", is that companionship (depending where that leads) in exchange for a monthly allowance or gifts (shopping, travel, fine dining,etc). I told a few male-friends about this and they said I'm turning in to a 'gold digger' and one even lead to a falling out(hopefully just temporary) because he thinks I'm superficial.So to sum it up, and I know im going to get tons of crap for this, but needless to say if an overweight, physically undesirable older man wants the company, companionship and perhaps physical component of a relationship with an attractive young woman, am I not being fair in expecting something in return either in the form of gifts (nice shopping trips, vacation,etc) or some type of allowance (could happily be a college tuition bill, a couple text books, WHATEVER). My thoughts are if an older unattractive man(often married btw) wants access to a younger woman and is demanding of her time and often her body, she should be getting something out of it too since I am doing him a FAVOR. Now if the guy is physically attractive and we both are 'in to each other' different story.
Honestly What are your thoughts?
Your descriptions sound exactly the defination of a gold digger/sugar baby looking for a sugar daddy. It is very superficial. What do you expect on a sugar daddy site? It isn't likely going to be a 30 yr. old attractive man because he will not have any trouble whatsoever finding women and will not need to go to these sites. The men that go to these sites are just as your described, older men, bald, overweight, and possibly married (I would hope that you wouldn't stoop to dating a married man). Pay for your own college and way in life and stop looking for some elderly man to bail you out.
Last edited by brokencrayola; 06-19-2013 at 02:45 AM..
Reason: sp
Your intentions are not noble - why would you expect the other person's to be? You are putting your profile out on sites that do not attract honorable men (like you said, many of them are married) - and then you're surprised that you're meeting scum bags.
I met my husband on match.com. I had to kiss a lot of toads to find my prince, as the saying goes, but it worked. But my intentions were clear - I wanted a marriage of equals (didn't have to be equals in age - I dated men from their thirties to their sixties and I was in my forties), to someone who was financially responsible and who already had a solid career in place (after all, that was my position myself), and I was looking for mutual passion to go along with travel, a vibrant lifestyle, and plenty of fun - TOGETHER. I wanted marriage and openness and honesty - not a "relationship" or "arrangement." I was very clear and stuck to my guns - I would not "settle" even though some men labeled me as a snob or "too picky."
But I also didn't sleep around, I was fit and healthy, I had my career in place, a great credit score, no "baggage," (like little kids, baby daddy drama, health issues, debt, etc) and doggone it, I didn't think I needed to deal with that stuff either.
I met the man who would become my husband after about a year on Match. He is an oil and gas consultant and within five years, we decided that I should quit working so we could travel more together, which we now do. I jokingly call him my sugar daddy, but honestly, if it wasn't for him, I'd still have my nose to the corporate grindstone. That wasn't my ultimate GOAL though - it was a side benefit to "marrying well" - but I had more to offer than just looks and youth - which fade.
By the way, when I was dating, one thing that would knock a man off my list quickly was if he was more interested in dating younger women - which is why I soon stopped dating men in their early sixties, even though the ones I did date were fit and energetic (and wealthy). I didn't like their overall personalities or their REASONS for wanting to date a younger woman. To be honest, I couldn't see a shiny future in it - even if we eventually married, I would be stuck taking care of an elderly man in a few years, and then by the time they kicked the bucket, I'd be too old to probably find a good relationship. NO, THANK YOU.
This is hard to admit, but I want to get some opinions here. So I am a female college student in my early-mid 20's, and recently joined a few "sugar daddy" dating sites as well as millionaire match. Basically the sites connect older, "wealthy" or established men with young, attractive women. Not saying I look like a model by any means but have been told I am "very pretty" on many occasions, am very slim and keep active, am relatively well-traveled, AND am comfortable in many social settings and a good listener.. Meanwhile, a lot of the men that have been messaging me(only met 1, scum of the earth) are significantly overweight, bald or balding, old (as in some could be my grandfather) yet seem to expect a physically intimate relationship often on the first meet (which ive specified in my profile that i NEVER DO) without offering me anything monetarily or material wise besides MAYBE a dinner at (hang on to your hats) Subway. Don’t get me wrong, I like a five dollar foot long as much as the next person but I was hoping for something a little classier…Quiznos perhaps, lol. Is it just me or does anyone else find this strange for a first meeting? Also, I know this post makes me sound like an escort which is not my intention at all, BUT, the point of the particular site I joined called "seeking arrangement", is that companionship (depending where that leads) in exchange for a monthly allowance or gifts (shopping, travel, fine dining,etc). I told a few male-friends about this and they said I'm turning in to a 'gold digger' and one even lead to a falling out(hopefully just temporary) because he thinks I'm superficial.
So to sum it up, and I know im going to get tons of crap for this, but needless to say if an overweight, physically undesirable older man wants the company, companionship and perhaps physical component of a relationship with an attractive young woman, am I not being fair in expecting something in return either in the form of gifts (nice shopping trips, vacation,etc) or some type of allowance (could happily be a college tuition bill, a couple text books, WHATEVER). My thoughts are if an older unattractive man(often married btw) wants access to a younger woman and is demanding of her time and often her body, she should be getting something out of it too since I am doing him a FAVOR. Now if the guy is physically attractive and we both are 'in to each other' different story.
Honestly What are your thoughts?
Honestly, you are going to have a very unhappy life. But you know that, you're already having it. Your self-image is so screwed up that I don't even know where to begin. Yes, you are acting as a prostitute, that's obvious, but that's not even important. You're wasting your time, wasting your body, wasting your spirit, and in ten minutes you will be pushing 40 and wondering where it all went wrong. Of course you need to stop dealing hooch, but more importantly you need to figure out why you are drawn to the behavior in the first place. And that is going to require a shrink. Maybe an older balding shrink who will trade professional wisdom for access to your "physical treasures".
what is that old joke . . . something about a woman getting upset that the guy had not "invested" enough in an expensive date to make her feel good about going home with him . . . and he says - "well just what does it take to get you into bed?" She says "what kind of girl do you think I am?" He replies, "We already have established what kind of girl you are. We are just haggling over the price."
The facts are . . . OP is looking for some BLING, some SWAG, to go along with her evenings out. She figures if she is going to date, why not date someone who will spend some cash, take her nice places, buy her a new wardrobe, jewelry - SOMETHING!
Of course these guys are fakers.
And they figure the fact that you responded to them has proven who you are, too.
Wealthy men, even the toads, don't have to run ads pretending to be Sugar Daddies.
Remember Aristotle Onassis? It doesn't matter how much of a toad a man is if he has $$$ . . . women find them.
Maybe you could draw up a "menu" - that way, the old geezers could select what they want and the price to be paid - and no one would be disappointed or confused.
" Would I truly be considered a gold-digger or superficial?" No, you would be considered a prostitute.....
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