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Ok my roommate just informed me that today was his birthday and that he was going to have a party with his friends.
He didn't invite me or ask if I wanted to go and celebrate.
He just walked up to me and said "hey today is my birthday. My friends are having a party for me. I will be celebrating it with some friends" then silence.... I informed him a couple times in the past that I am a social person that likes to party, so he is very aware of that (not a secret). So ....is this like some form of social attack on me or something? Any conniving manipulators out there that know what this is REALLY about???
Something odd about the situation is that he said I could get a ride with him to a halloween bash next week but not his birthday party..., so he knows the concept of giving invitations which makes this an obvious snub.
* Note to reader: The previous social experience I've had with him was him leaving me in the middle of a social situation, not introducing me to his acquintences NOR introducing me to any friend he brings to the house (which have only be like a few).
We are both in graduate school. Both very smart people. I consider myself to be better looking ( I do look very young for my age), I am a good deal taller than him, and a bit more fun natured, funny, happy go lucky and social. So, I am not a gross smelly antisocial person or anything if you thought that. But as of NOW I am rather confused and irritated. Thankfully I plan to graduate in less than 2 years in case this odd person continues to choose to be antisocial with me.
Your thoughts, advice, opinions, and insights are welcomed
I suggest you draw a white chalk line down the middle of your "living arangements" with him, and let him know, that until he starts inviting you to his parties, you are going to snub him right back!
Being a room-mate doesn't require being buddies. If you didn't even know it was his birthday, I mean, c'mon?? I wouldn't have my feelings hurt if I were you. I'd just chalk it up to not mixing business (room-mate) with pleasure.
It's hard to say what is really going on with your roommate without meeting all of you in person. But some people like to keep their roommates separate from being their friends. And also, since it's his friends throwing the birthday party for him, he may not feel that he is expected to bring you along as they are picking up the tab. If you were his girlfriend, that would be different. And also, if his friends wanted you to be at the party, they would have called your apartment to make you a direct invitation to it.
Just have your own friends and keep the roommate thing separate and just business like. Maybe in the past, your roommate has been taken advantage of by roommates that tried to be friends and then were late on the bills. Or maybe he is worried that his friends will eventually like you better than him.
I live with my boyfriend, but we've had two different friends where their roommates just assumed that they were our friends too by association. But while they had similar interests, they were jerky people and one of them I had to tell off twice and let him know that he would never be welcome at our house. He also had left our friend in the lurch because he felt like moving out suddenly, he was a mooch and also drank too much. The other roommate was lonely, with a broken car and just assumed that he could tag along with our friend and not chip in for gas.
So anyway, if you weren't friends before moving in together, then just assume that it's only a business arrangement of convenience.
He informed me that he was looking to make new friends in our city. I don't see his behavior as being very honest. So your help is pretty much useless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sooner_Nation_60
Being a room-mate doesn't require being buddies. If you didn't even know it was his birthday, I mean, c'mon?? I wouldn't have my feelings hurt if I were you. I'd just chalk it up to not mixing business (room-mate) with pleasure.
oh NO SaveMtns... this is more serious than that. this looks like a total SMTRABS
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Thankfully I plan to graduate in less than 2 years in case this odd person continues to choose to be antisocial with me.
?
