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I have a wonderful elderly friend who hired a construction company to do some work for her. She insists on being there when the work is done, but is a gad about kind of person. The work they were hired to do, should have only taken 2 months. Because of her frequent "out of town trips", the remodeling has taken 1-1/2 years.
When they show up to do the work, she keeps them from working, with her incessant chatter. They would let her know that they "would be there on Monday, and each day after that, for 2 weeks." Day 3 or 4...she says, "I'll be leaving on Friday and will be gone for a few days." This "few days", can run into 3 weeks or more!!!
It's awful! Meanwhile, now the construction guys have to put the job on hold, which totally screws up THEIR schedule. She complains because her construction work isn't being completed, but talks incessantly to them when they're there working, changes the plans constantly, then can't handle the stress of the workers in her home, takes off and the work has to stop. Grrrrrr LOL
Of course, then she shows up at MY door, "just to say hi and see how we're doing". NO....it isn't to see how we're doing. The conversation starts out with "Hi, how are you?", and that's it. It immediately switches to "Got any coffee on?", then starts whining and complaining about the contractors, how long they're taking to get the job done and how unreliable they are, how their grandchildren have screwed up, her son in law, her daughter, how much the remodel is costing, how much her grandchildren have borrowed from her since we last spoke....on and on and on.
Only down-right obvious and borderline RUDE behavior will get her out of here and that's sad.
I have a wonderful elderly friend who hired a construction company to do some work for her. She insists on being there when the work is done, but is a gad about kind of person. The work they were hired to do, should have only taken 2 months. Because of her frequent "out of town trips", the remodeling has taken 1-1/2 years.
When they show up to do the work, she keeps them from working, with her incessant chatter. They would let her know that they "would be there on Monday, and each day after that, for 2 weeks." Day 3 or 4...she says, "I'll be leaving on Friday and will be gone for a few days." This "few days", can run into 3 weeks or more!!!
It's awful! Meanwhile, now the construction guys have to put the job on hold, which totally screws up THEIR schedule. She complains because her construction work isn't being completed, but talks incessantly to them when they're there working, changes the plans constantly, then can't handle the stress of the workers in her home, takes off and the work has to stop. Grrrrrr LOL
Of course, then she shows up at MY door, "just to say hi and see how we're doing". NO....it isn't to see how we're doing. The conversation starts out with "Hi, how are you?", and that's it. It immediately switches to "Got any coffee on?", then starts whining and complaining about the contractors, how long they're taking to get the job done and how unreliable they are, how their grandchildren have screwed up, her son in law, her daughter, how much the remodel is costing, how much her grandchildren have borrowed from her since we last spoke....on and on and on.
Only down-right obvious and borderline RUDE behavior will get her out of here and that's sad.
I've turned down jobs from people who insist on being there every minute someone is working in their homes...it's OK if the homeowner is going to be there anyway (unless they're the type that gets in the way or talks incessantly!) But a few times I've had people tell me we could work such and such hours, on such and such days. As in, "I'll be home until 12:30 pm, then I have a doctor's appointment so you'll have to leave but I'll be home by 3 pm so you can come back then...."...no, just no.
I find that insulting, actually. I never advertise; all my work is repeat business or word of mouth or for a couple of general contractors and decorators who have hired me for years, so it's not like people who are hiring me are inviting in a large crew of strangers to swarm all over their house! Either trust the people you hire to do the work without eagle-eyed supervision, or find someone else. Does this type of person insist on sitting next to the engine bay while their car is being worked on? Or supervising the dry cleaning process of their fine clothes? Sheesh. If I and my crew weren't really tidy and respectful of clients' property, I wouldn't stay so busy, I assure you!
/rant
ukiyo-e, I hear you. I have friends with whom I can talk with happily for hours. But it's back-and-forth, we are interested in each other's opinions and feedback, we talk about things that are mutually interesting and complex, not banalities.
This is a side effect of suburbia, and the lack of face to face socializing! No joke.
People have become very isolated, don't have social interaction with people that are interested in the same things they are, so they don't get to actually talk anymore, so when someone asks them a question it's like a national holiday.
Nowadays with social media and "fingers" replacing "tongues" for talking, this will be even more prevalent.
It is really sad that all of you act like this about it though!
Quote:
Sometimes elderly people who live alone are guilty of this
This is a side effect of suburbia, and the lack of face to face socializing! No joke.
People have become very isolated, don't have social interaction with people that are interested in the same things they are, so they don't get to actually talk anymore, so when someone asks them a question it's like a national holiday.
Nowadays with social media and "fingers" replacing "tongues" for talking, this will be even more prevalent.
It is really sad that all of you act like this about it though!
In the example I give in the OP, this couple isn't socially isolated. They are very involved in dog training and volunteer work with the local library, children and grandchildren come and go and the wife belongs to a book discussion (face to face) group, they travel a lot. They don't even own a cell phone. Nor do they live in the suburbs...they live in a beautiful home on 22 acres, 12 miles from a nice little city. Not that elderly, either...I guess mid 60s.
As I said in my OP:
Quote:
They appear to have fulfilling lives, not lonely or bored; nor old enough to have dementia.
So while you may have an overall point, these folks, nor many other incessant talkers, simply don't fit your stereotype.
I don't know how these people go through life without being able to guage the interest of their audience. Sleepy eyes, yawning, looking away a lot, edging away, walking backwards... looking at your watch and saying OMG!!! That CAN'T be the time, can it?
.
Well, this explains why teachers are often the culprits. We're used to that behavior
I only read the OP. It's a funny post. Most of us I think know someone like that. I know 2 people like that. My wife says both of them have a personality disorder (she's a clinical psychologist and even though it wasn't an official diagnosis, it counts to me). That's not to say that all people who are like that have a personality disorder but regardless, I understandthe annoyance of it.
Sorry bro. Take solace that it's a short term thing for you, I mean just imagine if she were your wife or a close relative that you had to interact with on a regular basis. Oh man, those people are such annoying bumbleheads. I don't think you should say a word to her however about it. She's a grown woman, people have likely mentioned it in the past ya know. So she'll just take a remark from a stranger (i.e. you) as an insult, even if you put it nicely.
But with her gabbing at you I hope you're paid by the hr! Best of luck dude.
I only read the OP. It's a funny post. Most of us I think know someone like that. I know 2 people like that. My wife says both of them have a personality disorder (she's a clinical psychologist and even though it wasn't an official diagnosis, it counts to me). That's not to say that all people who are like that have a personality disorder but regardless, I understandthe annoyance of it.
Sorry bro. Take solace that it's a short term thing for you, I mean just imagine if she were your wife or a close relative that you had to interact with on a regular basis. Oh man, those people are such annoying bumbleheads. I don't think you should say a word to her however about it. She's a grown woman, people have likely mentioned it in the past ya know. So she'll just take a remark from a stranger (i.e. you) as an insult, even if you put it nicely.
But with her gabbing at you I hope you're paid by the hr! Best of luck dude.
M'am, not dude.
(My line of work tends to mislead people!)
Thanks though. And I wouldn't want to be married to her for sure.
My favorite escape line is to excuse myself to use the restroom. Hopefully they'll be doing something else by the time I return. Although I have had people follow me to the restroom and keep talking through the closed door! My husband has a former neighbor that is like this and DH never got the hang of extricating himself from these long monologues. I just look at my watch and gasp loudly "OMG look at the time!, I'm sorry I have to XXX, I'm supposed to be leaving in 5 minutes!" and then bug out.
We would go out with friends who would both talk incessantly.
The wife would just talk and talk and never stop. The husband
would say loudly 'would you please let me talk as she would finish
his sentences and his conversation.
After our heads got tired from swiveling back and forth, we said
Enough. No more friends.
I'm fortunate in that I don't have to suck up to anyone like a boss or clients. When I meet people who just blather on incessantly I feel my blood pressure rise and I start getting really, really angry. It only takes a moment to realize I'm in the company of a conversation nazi. I just leave.
While socializing after a meeting a couple years ago, I got trapped into a monologue with some blabbermouth. After suffering for what seemed like an hour, I finally said to this old geezer suffering from oral diarrhea (while he was in mid-sentence). "Jesus Christ! I can't even get a word in edgewise." I turned and walked out of the room. I never, ever, spoke to him again.
Life's too short to suffer fools gladly.
P.S. Sometimes after too much coffee my wife can get like that. I just give her a look and say, "Take a breath, fer Crissakes.". We usually laugh about it afterward because she knows that she can get like that on occasion. But I still love her.
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