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Makes no sense. I didn't ask for it. I never bring up religion. The issue is not really about religion. It could be about any personal thing someone strongly believes in, that they expose to unwelcoming people. Could be someone who is a very liberal democrat, who sends political literature to family members who express no interest in hearing about.
That seems a tad hypocritical. So, you're saying that should he deliver you a new car you'd take it to the junk yard (after defecating on it, of course) because you'd neither asked for it, nor mentioned to him you wanted one?
Grow up. I receive all kinds of political and religious emails from friends and family that I don't want. You know what I do with them? I delete them. I don't feel the need to throw anything back in anyone's face. To tell them to stop doing it. Or take it as a personal insult. That's not an adult thing to do.
I'm obviously not religious. I never go to church. My brother and family are very religious. He had to mail me something and sent a bible in the package too.
I find this highly inappropriate and kind of creepy. We don't really talk because he is someone I have just been tolerating and I got tired of wasting my energy on keeping up relationships I don't enjoy. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do. I haven't said anything about it, but I feel a little harassed, since it's obviously unwanted contact, that is being pushed on me. I find this disrespectful and condescending. How do I keep this kind of thing from happening again?
Why not take the high road here?
Your knee jerk reaction to be offended won't serve you well.
I'd suggest you adopt an attitude of assuming better of those who love you.
Why not just say to yourself, given his strong beliefs I know my brother thought he was doing a good thing by sending me that Bible.
You don't have to read it (though as others have said, you might learn something if you did ) and could just donate it to a book drive or give it away.
But there is no reason to be ugly or confrontational with your brother. If he ever mentions it to you, you could say something like, I know you meant well, so thanks anyway, but I passed the book on to someone else more interested in it.
The post was saying that it takes a lot of thought & strength & deprogramming to become an atheist.
It's as if sending the Bible is somehow going to "tempt" you back away from that..
Which proves me right when I said that you don't get it.
It has nothing to do with "temptation," and everything to do with it being disrespectful, insulting, passive-aggressive (as many people here have said), and, quite frankly, tedious.
Most people who know me "in real life" know I went to Catholic school. Twelve years of it. So when they get up there and try to talk to me about their god, my reaction is, "Hey, dingbat, after all those years with priests and nuns and growing up in a Catholic household, do you really think I've never heard of Jesus? Please, I probably know more about your religion than you do. Why are you talking to me like you have some new insight to share, like the concept of a god is somehow new to me? WTF, are you DENSE? I purposefully ditched all of that. If I still believed in your god, I'd still be Catholic, aight? Get over it!"
It's kind of like when my SO's uncle wants to discuss politics with me. I am an ex-Republican. There is nothing anyone can say at this point that I haven't already heard before, because I've been on the other side. I was one. I know how the party thinks and operates, and I chose to separate myself from it. Does he really think he can convince me, a grown woman in her 40s, to change my mind? If not, then what is the point of bringing it up again and again and again? To express his opinion? To get digs in? What is the point? How is it productive? Because the only effect it's going to have on me is to alienate me, big time. (And possibly irritate my SO.)
The problem is the insistent desire to constantly try to reopen channels that someone has proactively closed after spending a lot of thought, maybe years considering and pondering, and the arrogance implied in thinking that you--believer, Republican, whatever you are that I once was that I deliberately decided not to be anymore--can somehow make some kind of point by sending me a book that I have declared to be irrelevant to my life. So no, if you don't respect the fact that I am an intelligent woman who can sort these things out for herself, I don't have to respect either your methods or your beliefs.
The post was saying that it takes a lot of thought & strength & deprogramming to become an atheist.
It's as if sending the Bible is somehow going to "tempt" you back away from that..
That seems a tad hypocritical. So, you're saying that should he deliver you a new car you'd take it to the junk yard (after defecating on it, of course) because you'd neither asked for it, nor mentioned to him you wanted one?
Grow up. I receive all kinds of political and religious emails from friends and family that I don't want. You know what I do with them? I delete them. I don't feel the need to throw anything back in anyone's face. To tell them to stop doing it. Or take it as a personal insult. That's not an adult thing to do.
When did I say I was going to throw anything back in his face? Sending a group email is not quite the same as mailing a bible. People are used to getting all kinds of crap by email, since it's so easy to send, it lacks much meaning. Purchasing a book and packaging and postage takes a lot more effort.
The thing about "growing up" is I already did. Part of growing up is respecting others beliefs. I'm just asking how I should deal with someone who doesn't respect mine. I
Grow up. I receive all kinds of political and religious emails from friends and family that I don't want. You know what I do with them? I delete them. I don't feel the need to throw anything back in anyone's face. To tell them to stop doing it. Or take it as a personal insult. That's not an adult thing to do.
That's your choice to put up with obnoxious emails. I tell people to knock it off. They know that when I want their opinion on politics or religion, I'll ask for it.
There's a reason politics and religion are two of the three verboten topics at a dinner party. They are intensely personal things. I couldn't give a crap what anyone else believes, so they can get out of my face with it, thanks much.
Yes, to me and many other people. But to him it's "the word of god, 100% true". So what he believes based on the bible makes him right, based on the interpretation of the times, of course. That means much of what I believe he disagrees with and he is pointing that out. I really shouldn't care.
I'm not mad about it. I realized he is just ignorant. He was told what to do as a child and without question, he's doing it, like a robot. He can give himself a big pat on the back. Whatever.
Yes, to me and many other people. But to him it's "the word of god, 100% true". So what he believes based on the bible makes him right, based on the interpretation of the times, of course. That means much of what I believe he disagrees with and he is pointing that out. I really shouldn't care.
I'm not mad about it. I realized he is just ignorant. He was told what to do as a child and without question, he's doing it, like a robot. He can give himself a big pat on the back. Whatever.
Ok but it's a book to you. Throw it away. I don't know what else to say.
When did I say I was going to throw anything back in his face? Sending a group email is not quite the same as mailing a bible. People are used to getting all kinds of crap by email, since it's so easy to send, it lacks much meaning. Purchasing a book and packaging and postage takes a lot more effort.
The thing about "growing up" is I already did. Part of growing up is respecting others beliefs. I'm just asking how I should deal with someone who doesn't respect mine. I
You're assuming a lot. How do you know it was purchased? And you've already told us it certainly wasn't packaged and had added postage - you said it was included with something that was being posted to you. No special effort there.
And while you didn't say you were going to throw it back in his face, an awful lot of the advice you received was to do that. Your anger towards the gift, and the giver, certainly seems as if you could well do that, either figuratively or literally, though.
I'm sorry that you don't enjoy the emails that family and friends send you, and find them valueless.
Are you respecting your brother's religious beliefs? No. You're offended by them. And you're offended that he wants to share them with you. That's not respect.
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