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I wouldn't make a big thing out of it with my friends, but would simply ask for a separate check at the start of the meal. They aren't really doing anything wrong by ordering some wine/appetizers if most at the table are enjoying them (dinner is a social occasion) and you aren't doing anything wrong if you aren't having even a nibble of the appetizers/bread and pay your own tab. Just quietly ask the waitress that your tab be separate when first ordering and leave it at that.
How it "comes up short" is absurd. Tell the waiter at the start that you would like separate checks. The only way it comes up short is if someone's card is declined. Otherwise "coming up short" means someone didn't pay their portion. Whoever orders it, pays for it. If the strategy is to have the bill "come up short", start by putting in a dollar, then when they need more you can pay your actual cost, rather than subsidizing them.
Honestly, if someone pulls this **** on me once, I make a scene. I call them out on it. Then I'm not invited again and the problem has been solved. I don't feel an obligation to go, and I feel great about having dealt with them.
Again, for emphasis, when you arrive, speak to the waiter. If you feel some social pressure, excuse yourself to use the restroom, catch up with the waitress, and inform her that you would like a separate check.
Oh plus - if you HAVE to split the bill - can't y'all do simple sums?
I had the salad at $5 and three glasses of wine @ $3 so here's my $14.
What's so hard about that?
Your share would probably be an additional 98 cents @ 7% tax, and a $2.80 tip added to that $14. Believe it or not, at least in my experience, that's been the hardest thing to get *some* folks (not all, of course) who want to pay for what they ate/drank to consider- they'll add up the cost of their meal, their drinks, and look at others who mention there's also tax and tips as though they're trying to cheat them somehow.
Or perhaps they think the tax/tip fairy is supposed to add all that into the payment for the bill.
Last edited by Travelassie; 05-20-2014 at 09:47 AM..
Honestly, I find this mind-boggling! Why would they think that everyone else was picking up their tab? But also, why on earth didn't someone SAY something to them before they left?
Heat of the moment, I s'pose....everyone's talking, drinking, & eating and not really paying attention.
I guess before the next big get-together, we'll have a meeting with ALL involved beforehand to discuss how the bill will be divided.
Not sure if you were joking or serious, but it seems sensible to me. Everyone should know ahead of time that if you order a bottle of wine, it goes on your bill, unless others have specifically offered to split the cost. Same for appetizers that are shared or anything else.
I don't think most people are going to be too upset if they end up paying an extra buck or two beyond their share, but when it turns into ten or twenty bucks, that's just being taken advantage of.
I know that many restaurants won't split the bill, and I think that's ridiculous frankly. Yes, splitting a bill for a large group is extra work for the server rather than putting it all on one bill. But it is no more work to split a bill for 8 people sitting at the same table as it is to serve 8 lone diners each sitting at their own table. If I go out shopping with a group of friends, we expect to get our purchases rung up separately. I see no reason why a restaurant should be any different.
I hate it when I go as a single person w/ 2 other couples and they say "let's split the bill 3 ways!".
Uh, NOPE!! Let's split the bill and I'll pay 1/5 and you pay 2/5 EACH.
Now that sounds fair and the couples actually pay for 2 people each!
I think they call it the "marriage penalty".
I've never heard of this scenario! I would be so embarrassed to suggest such a cheapskate way of splitting it. Do people just have no dignity? Do they think the single person is too stupid to see the unfairness? I don't want to pay more than my reasonably fair share, but even more so, I don't want to stick anyone else with my share!!!
Some of the posts in this thread just have me shaking my head.
Every year for many years I have been attending a weekend trip with a group of 8-10 ladies. It seems like we have the same issues at dinner every year. They always pick some overpriced, upscale restaurant and there are always people at dinner that order a bunch of things "for the table" that others didn't really want or ask for and then the same people who order this stuff want everyone to split the tab equally or they are surprised when people only put in the amount for what they actually ordered (plus tax and tip of course). Somehow the money is always short and the people who didn't order all this stuff (and didn't eat it either) end up being asked to chip in more money to make up the shortfall. One year, on principle, I refused to be bullied into splitting the tab after several girls ordered $200 worth of wine that I didn't drink a drop of.
This year I traveled clear across the country to attend because I moved away. I had spent over $500 just to be there, so was on a tighter budget than in the past and I ordered a cheaper item on the menu and didn't drink any wine or eat any appetizers or dessert that I didn't order. Once again the bill comes up short after everyone puts in their money. I know it seems like I'm being a tightwad, but I didn't ask for or eat the food and wine, so I really didn't want, and didn't have the cash on hand, to put in for the apps and wine that others ordered and ate. I know the other ladies feel that this is a once a year thing so they just want to splurge and celebrate, but I splurged on my plane tickets and rental car. Is it selfish of me, or acting like a jerk, when I put in the cash just for what I ordered plus 30% for tax and tip??
Not at all. Why pay for something that you didn't eat or drink? I've been in a couple of situations and with people like this and just said enough. Whenever my wife and I eat do with a large group, we simply ask for our own bill and don't play this "split the bill" game. It's funny, because the ones ordering the expensive items are usually shorthanded when it comes time to pay and they expect others to be responsible for their indulgences which they probably wouldn't buy on their own anyway.
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