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Just say you can't afford it and keep it moving. Something you have to consider is its not good to live on an island. Life can throw curve balls and one day you may need family. It's ok to say no but a blind no May be a bit to the extreme. God forbid a job loss or a health issue can make a loaner become the person asking for a loan.
The tales of money lending (giving) to family members I could share, was I so inclined, would make the OP's story seem like a day in the park in comparison.
BTW--the best part of not being paid back is that they won't contact you for more money for awhile--at least until they think you might have forgotten about it. They always underestimate memory.
If you have read some of my other posts you know that my immediate family has pretty much cut me off because I will not give them any money. The only family my wife and I socialize with is her side of the family but that side has had a lot of conflict with us too. (When we refused to stay at the Ritz Carlton with the rest of my wife's immediate family.)
So it was a year since I talked to anyone on my side of the family and the phone rang a few weeks ago. It was my youngest sister who has had no real relationship with me for years. She started talking like nothing bad had happened and said she had meant to call but had been so busy.
We had a nice time catching up and I thought the conversation was going well. But just before the conversation was going to end, she asked me for money for some type of financial crisis. I told her I would think about it and call her back. She has called me back twice and left a message on my voice mail and asked me if I could help her out with a $2000 loan. She would pay me back $100 a month for two years. So far I have not called her back and she appears desperate.
My older sister was given a $5000 loan a couple of years ago, and never paid me back after the first payment. And then had the nerve to ask me for another loan. When I rejected her I was cut off from the family- and my elderly parents, until this phone call.
Wouldn't it be easier to just give my broke family members the money they need and attempt to buy my way back into their good graces? I am so tired of being cut off and being told I am cheap.
NO! Money will NEVER buy you that. NEVER.. dont fall for it.
Say to them "no thank you i am not able to help you at this point. But let me give you a few banks close by that you can apply for a loan. Good luck" and you say it with a matter of fact tone. no explanations for them to be able to argue with you.
if she is in a crisis now, how is she going to be able to pay you back?
I have quite a bit of money saved up from when I was working but live a very conservative lifestyle and am tight with my money so if I can't get a full time job, I will survive.
And you earned every penny which you have the right to keep.
hey by the way, I dont know you but I would love if you gave me money
just kidding.
JUST SAY NO! you are not a bank.
If you ever watch the movie Fargo, you might feel thats you in the movie, where the shifty salesman was expecting a rich relative to bail him out of trouble. The rich guy said to the shifty salesman - "what do you think we are - a bank".
"As soon as I get full payment from <older sister's name>, I can lend some to you. I only do one loan at a time."
This is great and probably something I would say!
OP: you have your own family to take care of...your immediate family. You need money for retirement, to take care of yourself and whatever you want it for. It's yours and yours alone. I wouldn't give it unless it were a gift. Just remember, this probably will not be the last favor they ask.
NO! Money will NEVER buy you that. NEVER.. dont fall for it.
Say to them "no thank you i am not able to help you at this point. But let me give you a few banks close by that you can apply for a loan. Good luck" and you say it with a matter of fact tone. no explanations for them to be able to argue with you.
if she is in a crisis now, how is she going to be able to pay you back?
say no.
Think y'all all over-thinking this. Take it up one level, outside the family.
Must say, I'm having a hard time understanding this thread, people living on another planet than mine perhaps. And that's the beauty of C-D Forums: totally different points of view on how to handle life In that spirit, then, my take:
Anyone who need a "loan" like that probably should take it up with guys from around the neighborhood. They'll take points, and a vig, of course. Terms for payback are pretty straightforward, actually, in language anyone can understand.
Otherwise, loaning money to a bum, with no juice/take, and no way to secure it, is self-evidently a sucker-bet and/or dreadfully unsophisticated. The equivalent of Three Card Monte with people's emotions as table stakes. Doing so twice is evidence of mental illness, and/or an ill-guided attempt to buy people's affections (which does not work: no one has respect for suckers).
A 'relationship' is not usually defined by one giving the other money unless a service is exchanged. Without the service its called using or taking advantage of someone.
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In that spirit, then, my take:
