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I'd kick my husband's a$$ if he even entertained the idea of leaving me for a weekend while I was nine months pregnant!
But she's NOT nine months pregnant. She's at 34/35 weeks. And unless there's some serious health complications going on, there's no reason at all why he shouldn't go to the wedding.
Needy wives are the ones that give the rest a bad name and why so often wives are referred to as the "old ball and chain".
I think that you should go to the wedding without your wife. If I was your wife, I would want you not to miss the wedding of one of your best friends in college. Even if you weren't a best man or groomsman, I think that you should be there. Just book a plane ticket and go for the weekend.
Just because a couple is married, doesn't mean that they have become siamese twins and attached at the hip. His wife might enjoy having some private time to herself. It could be a good time to spend some quality time with her mother or other family or best girlfriends... especially before the baby is born.
All well and good until she goes into labor and he's 3000 miles away.
Don't go. If you can afford the trip, that means you could afford to take another week or so off of work to be at home with your wife after the baby's born. As it stands, you only have a week or two of PTO, right? So instead of that plane ticket and hotel cost, use that to take an additional week or two off using FMLA. It will be far more important, ultimately, to both you and your wife, if you have that extra time at home with your baby.
I think, what you're really wanting to do, is travel up and down the coast - go to your friend's wedding and see all your other friends at the same time. That's not realistic right now. Your wife will be heavily pregnant and probably shouldn't go in case of complications. If she goes into labor while you're gone, your trip would be cut short anyhow, and you might actually miss the birth of your own child. And again, if you can't afford unpaid FMLA to be at home with your wife and newborn, then you can't afford a cross-country trip - or more to the point, since you apparently do have that money since you want to go, you should put it towards staying home for as long as you can using FMLA to be with your wife and newborn. Wife and newborn are more important than one last big blowout party with all your college buds before the baby arrives.
Send a gift. You spend little to no time with the bride and groom at the wedding anyway.
And FYI OP, you can't take FMLA to travel across the country for a trip. Unless you're going to take care of sick family member. It has to be a parent, child, sibling, or spouse.
You're not doing that.
You don't use FMLA as an excuse to take a week off for a wedding. If your job were to find out you could be terminated.
I was leaning to not going myself. I let them know and they're cool with it, and my wife is appreciative. There are some health things going on so we definitely don't want to risk her traveling, and I'm not the best man or anything.
Time is on our side. We can wait to see them and I'm sure my friends will want to meet the kiddo too. I'm prepared to travel with a kid.
I think it's perfectly acceptable to miss the wedding.
Send them a nice gift and let your friend know, ahead of time, that your household is getting ready for a new arrival, so you can't make the wedding, but you are very happy for them and lookforward to seeing them in the future...with your new sidekick.
I can't believe you are asking this common sense question to strangers. One of my best friends daughter recently gave birth 3.5 weeks earlier than expected.
Of course you can't go to the wedding. It's called basic responsibility to your wife.
I'd also give up on the idea on visiting your friend at least for a few years, unless you can travel alone.
My sister-in-law missed my wedding because here due date ended up falling on our exact wedding date. I was certainly not offended... god forbid something happened and she's hours away from home, and her doctor/comfort zone. Can't blame ANYONE who makes a choice like that...
I guess I could take FMLA but that is unpaid and I don't think I could afford it.
So ... two questions really:
1) Is it unreasonable to say I'm not going to my friend's wedding under the circumstances?
2) Would it be a "compensation prize" to go out and visit them next year when the kiddo is say 6-9 months old and we're comfortable taking him traveling?
What would you all do?
You cannot take FMLA for a wedding.
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